Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we've been together such a long long time (such a long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
Somethin' special girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (yeah)
And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
1: Cut a hole in a box
2: Put your junk in that box
3: Make her open the box
And that's the way you do it
It's my dick in a box... my dick in a box babe
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent's house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box (yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
a dick in a box...

Fuck you, Johan. Fuck your mother, fuck your father and fuck your girlfriend, no wait scratch that last one, and your pet is the worst thing I've ever seen.

You suck so badly that had you been born in Africa, we'd have called you a black hole.

There are times when eugenics are a good thing and we should castigate the gene pool, this is one of those times.

I hate your country, it makes me sick. Your dirty oil money could help the world, but instead you hog it all up like a sponge, you unforgivable sod. Your country is why Europe can't have nice things!

You should be ashamed of your existence, you silly twat. Take off your top and dance around a little, now that you're such a bitch.

But I can't say that it's all bad. You do have some *quality things going for you:

1) You like Bob Dylan. No one can object to the Boss; good old blu eyes. It was such a shame when he died in that plane crash.
2) You are a child rapist/torturer. I mean, no one likes kids anyway, right?
3) You have burned down villages who didn't accept you as their personal deity.

But seriously, we should have a siftquisition, which ended in death. I propose you for it, because you are such an idiot that no one would miss your sorry, flea-ridden, bloated, blankfist-jizzmed corpse.

Go to hell. Go to hell and die.

Let me humour you all with the the order I think would be best.

1. Donation/sift Requests
- I understand why this is at the top.
2. Top 15
- Why bust it if it aint broken, this is the top real estate on the site, once a clip hits the top 15 it takes off.
3. Top Comments
- This is similar to the top 15 because it takes you to a video you might have missed.
4. Newest Sift Talk Posts
- This is the official discussion area concerning how this website is operating, good to have it's latest posts visible
5. Newest Blog posts
- I'm going off the board here and suggesting the blogs entries start getting front page exposure.
6. Recently Updated Playlists
- Great feature that highlights user collections.
7. Top Channels
- Again, I'm going off the board, saying a nice link to the channels I visit the most, nicely put in the sidebar would be much appreciated.
8. Top Users
- So I can watch somebody unseat Choggie at #15
etc....
The Rest are Panels I don't even look at or use.

Horrible explanation, if this was indeed for a school project - why does it rise? What force makes it do so? When are you going to take off your top? I keed.