Seagal should head the IRS. We'd start getting everyone to pay their taxes.

>> ^deathcow:
Would Seagal and Hasselhoff annihilate each other if they collided?


That was actually the prototype design for the LHC.

>> ^deathcow:
Would Seagal and Hasselhoff annihilate each other if they collided?


The image of them colliding and the thought of the resulting offspring is terrifying.

Would Seagal and Hasselhoff annihilate each other if they collided?

Notice how they have the same hairstyle...it's as if Seagal is watching himself in a dress opening a bottle of wine.

You never know. Maybe the script will land in the hands of some famous Hollywood celebrity, and your small film will become a major worldwide blockbuster, starring Steven Seagal!

Seagal: "These two women are planning on having sex with me." *runs away, with arms flailing like a bitch*

>> ^blankfist:
Trust me, this movie will never be on the big screen. You may see it on IFC or in Blockbuster. [/pragmatism]

Congratulations! Your comment has just received enough votes from the community to earn you 1 Power Point. Thank you for your quality contribution to VideoSift.

Upvote for the title alone. I can't wait to use this line at work.

"I didn't finish the project, boss."
"Steven Seagal would have finished the project."
"Pft. Steven Seagal runs like a bitch."
"You're fired."
"Steven Seagal wouldn't fire me."
"No, he would probably crush your larynx."

This will be an excellent addition to my future 90's channel, falling under the "Seagal pwns u" subcategory.

Seagal would defeat Chuck Norris in a sissy slap fight any day.

1) Season - dog season, it's always dog season
2) Place in the world - doghouses
3) Children's book - Dogbert goes to the store
4) TV Series - Dog Whisperer
5) Word - Doggles
6) Film - All Dogs Go To Heaven
7) Curse - Doggone it!
Creature - Dog
9) Past time - taking my dog for walks
10)Person - Rolph from the muppets

Which one?

11) Dog or cat - Cat
12) Sweet or savoury - salty
13) Cereal or Toast - toasted cereal
14) Tan or pale - farmers tan
15) Shoes or barefoot - shoes with bare toes
16) Desktop or laptop - laptop on a desk
17) Drive or walk - ghostride = both
18) Drama or comedy - steven seagal does both
19) Sex or food - foodstamps
20) Futurama or Simpsons - hey dad, can i borrow the handgun?

The Sift

21) Your fave personal submission - see any of my fine 49
22) A great comment on one of your vids - "Oprah takes a dive" by gwizz
23) Most off the wall member - westy
24) Favourite user name - westy
25) Your most used channel - WTFFFFFFFF
26) Personal dumbass moment - hahahaha
27) Best avatar - John Goodman, clearly
28) Partner in crime - westy, though he doesn't know
29) Do people offline know of your sift problem - no one still alive
30) Idea for the site - gimme 90's channel that I would care for like my own child

About you

31) Where do you live - in a big warehouse where dogs run loose, machines make noise and anything can happen
32) Smoker/non-smoker - plz see username
33) Left or right handed - I save the world with all 4 appendages
34) Hair colour - green, hello
35) Relationship status - I have 5 "close friends"
36) How tall - 6' 5" after I butchwax my 'do
37) Children - you are all my children
38) Ever had an operation - yes, i completed them all in 30 mintues too
39) Best feature - my voiceover
40) Use four words to describe yourself - By your powers combined...

If you could...what, who, when etc

41) Bring a famous person back from the dead - Princess Di
42) Give 50 grand to any charity - OJ is still innocent fund
43) Send someone on a one way ticket to the moon - Princess Di
44) Relive a moment in your life - with my DVR, I relive them all
45) Have a superpower - mine are Superhuman strength, speed and stamina, Flight, Invulnerability, Super-breath, Telepathy, Psychokinesis, Shape-shifting, Control over the elements, Matter transmutation
46) Find out one thing you've always wanted to know - who crashed the exxon-valdez
47) Have the opposite gender deal with something you have to - big oil
48) Be president for one hour - I'd consume the EPA
49) Delete a period in history - every time someone litters
50) Achieve one thing - make a television comeback

How to deal with trolls?

1. Give them avatars of B-list celebrities, like David Spade or Steven Seagal, that way they can be easily identified.
2. Keep posting talks like this regularly, that way they'll come into the open to identify themselves by saying IT'S THE INTERNET. Any time someone even remotely suggests that we should treat each other with the tiniest bit of respect, they will immediately be incensed and start whining.
3. Make sure that no one can ever discuss or even allude to the Nazis EVER AGAIN, unless we are actually talking about REAL Nazis (you know, the ones who systematically exterminated millions of people during World War II). That way they'll have no arguments at all:

First they came for the racist trolls and CP, and we rejoiced. Then they banned the ad-hom personal attacks, and we rejoiced. Then they came for the threadjackers, pointless posts and anything that upset people, and the newer members rejoiced. Then they came for those who criticized the f-cking kitty dominoes bullshit videos, they came for those who downvoted three times in a row, they came for those who swore or misabused their powers.

Finally, all that was left was the power-hungry tattletales who took over videosift and their lameass videos that mostly suck.

>> ^rougy:
>> ^CaptainPlanet420:
Last I checked, being half white and being raised by white people makes you more white than black. And supporting crazy terrorists including mulsims makes you more muslim than Christian. But I could be misunderstanding my past Theory of Logic...

Believe it or not, most of us don't expect a lot of theory or logic from a guy with a Steven Segal avatar.


I agree, but Seagal still is smarter, though barely, than mighty Ding Dong. After all, ya'll kids love evolution.

Steven Seagal is a republican?

>> ^berticus:
The purpose of this post is to draw the community's attention to the fact that schmawy, for breaking the rules, gets a 2 week ban... yet what punishment has CaptainPlanet420 ever got?

You're honestly devoting an entire thread to a guy with a 420 after his name and an avatar of Steven Seagal in a chef's hat?

Well, on the plus side, I guess it isn't a political thread bashing Miss Palin...