marry*

I'd also like to say I've wanted to marry almost every cool lesbian chick I meet. It annoys me to no end that I'm a guy when these fucking cool bitches are around being awesome.

Fuck yeah!

War on christmas? Heaviliy fortified, but we've established a beach head

War on traditional marriage? The enemy is in full retreat and soon the no-one will be able to get married unless given permission by a council of 2 lesbians, a gay guy and post-op transexual.

War on creationism? Was never much of a contest, but we pwned those superstitious motherfuckers hard.

Next up... war on babies!

I believe you, @gorillaman. If those sentences read the same to you, then they read the same to you. It IS hard for me to understand how that can be true because my experience is radically different, but that is my problem, not yours.

I'm sure it is a generational thing (although I know that there are young men and women who are careful with their language, so it isn't JUST me and my generation. You made some pretty sweeping statements about the whole world, as if the way you experience things is the standard. Gotta disagree with you there. And your use of "we" does seem a tad bit ... over-reaching.) It blows my mind how things have changed in the past 40 years. I grew up with arguments about whether it was okay to call an author who happened to be a woman an "authoress." Can you imagine? Making the act of writing a book gender-related? That word is gone. As is "poetess." And very few women were reporters -- if they wanted to work for a newspaper, they were mostly relegated to the "women's section" where the news was all about society events and recipes. It was even labelled "women's section." It was a different world, and I do NOT miss it.

I too would love it if gendered nouns and pronouns went away. I just learned that until relatively recently, it was proper usage to say "their" instead of "his" as the gender neutral version. And it was a woman who worked hard to change it (I guess it bugged her that a singular subject would have a multiple pronoun, or whatever the grammar terms are.) I'd love to go back to "them" and "their".

I disagree with you that my "radical" version is unsound. I acknowledged that the cultural significance has changed in the past 40 years. However, I dare say you would not go up to a 35 year old black man who is a stranger to you and call him a boy to his face. Although if you do it, I would love to hear the results. We would need a sample of more than one, right? -- you might get a polite person, after all!

If you try this experiment, I urge you to avoid a Southern accent and turn the "boy" into a two syllable word.

As to your question -- "What do you think is the #1 reason 'girl' as a synonym for 'woman' is in more common usage than 'boy' for 'man'?" -- you wouldn't accept my answer, I fear. It hasn't changed in 40 years. I hear things you don't, right? I am happy to tell you, if you really want to hear. I am afraid what I say will just cause you to scoff.

I would love to hear your answer to that, though. Why is that? Why is it okay to casually, consistently, overwhelmingly call a grown woman a girl, but we don't do that to men? Why the difference? What is gained from that word substitution? What is lost?

And why is sometimes okay to use "girl" and "boy" for grown men and women? I do it all the time. Boys' night out, girls' night out -- those are just fine with me.

Personally, I would love to see the word "guy" get ungendered. I have a very butch Lesbian friend who HATES it when a group of women is called "guys." I can't stand the word "gal" -- don't know why. It is just... ancient and stodgy. I love being out with the guys, but lord save me from being out with the "gals".

I do wonder about this part of your attempt at this experiment -- "words come up ... in the wrong contexts." I don't understand what that means. It is a simple list of rules. You hear the word "man", change it to "boy." You hear the word "girl" applied to anyone age 20 and older, you change it to "woman." If you are adventurous, you use those words when talking. How can there be "wrong contexts"? That is exactly the experiment, isn't it?

Any way this plays out, I really appreciate you engaging me on this. This is the most fun I've had with this topic EVER. And I really appreciate hearing from a different generational perspective. I'm letting it percolate and I can feel things shifting a bit.

Lesbians are sodomites? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, I dunno, maybe some of them are, but ya know, I kinda doubt it.

@bareboards2
you totally misunderstood my comment.
my point is that it is the ATTENTION that is the main focus,not the penis.

let me try this another way.

what if the girl was lesbian?
would male attention be her focus?
seewhatimsaying?

this attention seeking behavior usually starts young,when a young girl is unsure,insecure and vulnerable.(just like every other teen).
maybe they were the first girl in class to sprout boobs.
maybe she was a late bloomer and was nerdy and gangly all through high school.

in any scenario you wish to portray there will always be the common denominator that at one point she began to receive attention and that attention validated her as desirable,sexy even.
this may have led to dressing more "sexy" to garner even more attention.

the danger here is that the beauty of youth is transitory....it always results in entropy and if a woman finds validation solely in the form of attention,she will find it harder and harder to get the validation she has become accustomed to receiving.
this may lead to even more dramatic practices i.e:higher degree of provocative dress.bargaining flirtations for sexual promiscuity.actively seeking attention by way of nightclubs,bars and other venues where a source of attention may congregated.

we all wish to be desirable in one way or another and attention can be a powerful validation that we are desirable.the problem arises when the girl/guy is unaware of their own motivations to be validated and in the process allows themselves to become objects rather than human beings.

attention=validation *no penis required

men can be just as vulnerable to this validation seeking but our culture does not impose the same amount of pressure that young women have to endure and ultimately over-come.

what i believe you are saying,and its a point i agree with.is that young women should be more self-aware and be comfortable with who they are rather than what society thinks they should be.

the fact that i am male should not automatically disqualify me from expressing an opinion on female matters.i may fall short due to not owning a uterus but i feel my point is valid

It would if you had grown up in the 60's. I have come to the conclusion that there are a majority of people across the entire political spectrum in such tremendous denial that they could never accept criticism of their own partisan stance. I said elsewhere regarding this video that Paglia would be made the problem for pointing out the problem. I'm certain that is true.

Since she speaks so rapidly, I think it good to get a nice cup of tea and slooow down and absorb what she it saying. This feminist, liberal, atheist, lesbian, author, teacher has an indictment on our culture worth hearing. >> ^kir_mokum:

there is not enough glue in the world to make that make sense.

>> ^hpqp:

>> ^Reefie:
I've often found myself alienated from other men... I think differently, I behave differently, I'm not into typical 'guy' things. Generally I find I understand women relatively well but am totally clueless when it comes to how guys' minds work. At one point in my life I was giving serious thought to the prospect of gender change but there was one obstacle I hadn't counted on - private medical insurance companies and the NHS won't contemplate gender change unless the individual is attracted to those of the same sex. The idea of creating a lesbian didn't go down well with those who have the authority to make such decisions on my behalf.

Wow, that's an extremely bizarre and arbitrary line to draw on the part of the NHS. Maybe they suppose that people like you will have an easier life as a "feminine" heterosexual man (or "male lesbian") than as a transsexual lesbian (and vice-versa for women)?
One thing I've heard from an acquaintance who works with trans people though is that sometimes men and women who are uncomfortable with their gender (often because of childhood trauma) become convinced they are the wrong sex as a means of avoiding tackling those issues. That's one reason why having to go through psychotherapy (the woman I cite is a therapist specialised in this issue) before being allowed to begin hrt/grs is not a bad idea. But refusing gender reassignment just because it'd render you "homosexual", that's pretty absurd.


Despite the absurdity of the denial, in a way I'm glad that option was denied me. It allowed me to come to terms with who I am regardless of my gender. Nowadays I accept that I'm a guy, just not a stereotypical guy. Now the only dilemma I face regularly is the rejection by women who I find attractive (talking both personality and physically, I'm rarely lured by physical attraction alone) since I don't conform to their expectations of the male of the species. Can't blame people for wanting to avoid a fucked-up individual

There's another reason I'm glad the option wasn't available to me... I have two friends who have both gone through the transformation (both are/were guys) and seeing first-hand the emotional anguish they dealt with made me realise I might not have been strong enough to handle the pressures that are imposed on any individual who goes through that process.

... Uncle Frank..? NOOOOOOOO!
>> ^hpqp:

>> ^Reefie:
I've often found myself alienated from other men... I think differently, I behave differently, I'm not into typical 'guy' things. Generally I find I understand women relatively well but am totally clueless when it comes to how guys' minds work. At one point in my life I was giving serious thought to the prospect of gender change but there was one obstacle I hadn't counted on - private medical insurance companies and the NHS won't contemplate gender change unless the individual is attracted to those of the same sex. The idea of creating a lesbian didn't go down well with those who have the authority to make such decisions on my behalf.

Wow, that's an extremely bizarre and arbitrary line to draw on the part of the NHS. Maybe they suppose that people like you will have an easier life as a "feminine" heterosexual man (or "male lesbian") than as a transsexual lesbian (and vice-versa for women)?
One thing I've heard from an acquaintance who works with trans people though is that sometimes men and women who are uncomfortable with their gender (often because of childhood trauma) become convinced they are the wrong sex as a means of avoiding tackling those issues. That's one reason why having to go through psychotherapy (the woman I cite is a therapist specialised in this issue) before being allowed to begin hrt/grs is not a bad idea. But refusing gender reassignment just because it'd render you "homosexual", that's pretty absurd.

>> ^Reefie:

I've often found myself alienated from other men... I think differently, I behave differently, I'm not into typical 'guy' things. Generally I find I understand women relatively well but am totally clueless when it comes to how guys' minds work. At one point in my life I was giving serious thought to the prospect of gender change but there was one obstacle I hadn't counted on - private medical insurance companies and the NHS won't contemplate gender change unless the individual is attracted to those of the same sex. The idea of creating a lesbian didn't go down well with those who have the authority to make such decisions on my behalf.


Wow, that's an extremely bizarre and arbitrary line to draw on the part of the NHS. Maybe they suppose that people like you will have an easier life as a "feminine" heterosexual man (or "male lesbian") than as a transsexual lesbian (and vice-versa for women)?

One thing I've heard from an acquaintance who works with trans people though is that sometimes men and women who are uncomfortable with their gender (often because of childhood trauma) become convinced they are the wrong sex as a means of avoiding tackling those issues. That's one reason why having to go through psychotherapy (the woman I cite is a therapist specialised in this issue) before being allowed to begin hrt/grs is not a bad idea. But refusing gender reassignment just because it'd render you "homosexual", that's pretty absurd.

I've often found myself alienated from other men... I think differently, I behave differently, I'm not into typical 'guy' things. Generally I find I understand women relatively well but am totally clueless when it comes to how guys' minds work. At one point in my life I was giving serious thought to the prospect of gender change but there was one obstacle I hadn't counted on - private medical insurance companies and the NHS won't contemplate gender change unless the individual is attracted to those of the same sex. The idea of creating a lesbian didn't go down well with those who have the authority to make such decisions on my behalf.

You go girl!

One quibble @cricket: this shouldn't be in the * gay channel, since she's not a lesbian (most trans are hetero; in this case she's bisexual). How 'bout replacing it with *equality?

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

I think someday Victoria will reveal that she is a lesbian and that this whole act was an homage to the late, great Andy Kaufman.

"Its not Santa Claus..." I was thinking the same thing. Its a shame his mum didn't realise she was a lesbian at 13. Probably would have saved her a sham marriage and a dumbass son.

Christians complaining about being discriminated against because of their discriminatory beliefs.