Reminds me of something I had to have challenged back when I played.

I was a 1st baseman, and a pretty good one at that, actually. I'd do things that would bend the rules, or otherwise be unorthadox..

For instance, if I got a grounder and it looked like the guy would beat me to the base, I'd slide and touch the bag with my foot, sounds silly but almost nobody thinks to slide into first base, and it would get me there a half second before them.

The one that had to be challenged however, was a ground ball hit to third, which got thrown low to me, I made a lay down catch to get the ball which fell out of my glove, I grabbed it with my right hand and had my left (With the glove still on) on the bag.

The ump called him safe, because the ball wasn't in my glove and was still touching the ground (although I had it in control with my right hand) and my glove was touching the bag and technically not me.
My coach and entire team was upset however, because I did still have control of the ball, and the glove is technically an extension of the players body.

The call was later overturned.

So, actual terrorist event, or carefully orchestrated government plot to take your minds off the economy, healthcare and other current events?



Okay, I'm gonna put my foot down and demand that our conspiracy theories get a bit more plausible. I will admit that I'm actually a huge fan of conspiracy theories. Not because I'm swayed by any of them, but because I admire it as a genre of science fiction. The hook is that you invent a "secret" history for the world that ties together all the disparate and chaotic events of our world, and provides simple, unifying answers to them.

You know, the urban legend-ized version of Satan for our more secular culture.

In this case, clearly the cabal that both Obama and Bush are a part of only want to turn people into frightened, thoughtless animals. It's also clear that all terrorist plots are really perpetrated intentionally by the evil US government on its own citizens (because in the real world, America is never in danger from anything but the Soviet Union, Muslims, China, and Nazis and only then when they have Nukes). The purpose then is not to "distract" people from real concerns like the economy and health care, but to add the threat of bodily injury that is as unpredictable and random as it is impossible to protect yourself from, to make sure that the cold spike of fear is still there even on Christmas Day, as well as the general tableau of despair about your day to day life.

So no, it's not a fucking distraction, it's a devilishly smart move and we should all put on our tinfoil Santa hats and load up on ammo, because the mind control rays are nearly complete...

Hmmm, or maybe that's a distraction, and the real mind control rays come from these things called "television" and "radio" and "YouTube" and "blogs"... be careful what kinds of ideas you let take root in your mind, you never know if it's going to turn you into a zombie, or worse, a teabagger.

I just hope you will use this opportunity to be nice the the people around you. You made a lot of friends and a lot of bitter enemies here - I like to think that I'm neutral, or as neutral as you can get, and for pity's sake, don't squander the faith that myself and the many others who voted positively have placed in you.

My foot tastes delicious, but I must be used to it now, since it's being force-fed to me on a regular basis. It's hard to win with some people.

If only my jaw had been reset, that would have been the end of it and it would have been much easier, but that was then and this is now.

See you around choggie.

"I came here with my dick in my hand.
Don't make me leave here with my foot in your ass
BE COOL!"

BEST OPENING LINE EVER.

heheh.. I was ON vicodin last week. My little fluffy dog Nami crossed my path on the way down the stairs and my foot lost it sending me down on my back. I put a hole in the wall w/ my elbow, screwed the hell out of my neck and gave myself a concussion.

My husband just discovered my laptop was recieving wireless afterall.. (self-healed?) I could have been playing here all last week!

I stepped on a bottle and hurt my foot. Bottles suck.

There's a war goin on outside, no man is safe from
You could run but you can't hide forever
from these, streets, that we done took
You walkin witcha head down scared to look
You shook, cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks
They never around when the beef cooks in my part of town
It's similar to Vietnam
Now we all grown up and old, and beyond the cop's control
They better have the riot gear ready
Tryin to bag me and get rocked steady
by the mac one-double, I touch you
and leave you with not much to go home wit
My skin is thick, cause I be up in the mix of action
if I'm not at home, puffin lye relaxin
New York got a nigga depressed
So I wear a slug-proof underneath my Guess
God bless my soul, before I put my foot down and begin to stroll
And to the drama I built, and all unfinished beef
You will soon be killed, put us together
It's like mixin vodka and milk
I'm goin out blastin, takin my enemies with me
and if not, they scarred, so they will never forget me
Lord forgive me the Hennesey got me not knowin how to act
I'm fallin and I can't turn back
or maybe it's the words from my man Killa Black
that I can't say so it's left a untold fact, until my death
My goal's to stay alive
Survival of the fit only the strong survive

I'm trapped, in between two worlds, tryin to get dough y'know
When the dough get low the jewels go, but never that
As long as fiends smoke crack
I'll be on the block hustlin countin my stacks
No doubt, watchin my back and proceed with caution
Five-oh lurkin, no time to get lost in -- the system
Niggaz usin fake names to get out quick
My brother did it and got bagged with two ounces
I-llegal world where squads hit the block hard
Ask my man Twin when he got bagged, that fucked me up God
But shit happens for a reason
You find out who's your true peoples when you're upstate bleedin
You can't find a shorty to troop your bid witchu
Hit wit a 2 to 4 it's difficult
Wild on the streets I try to maintain
Tight with my loot, cause hoes like to run game
Some niggaz like to trick but I ain't wit that trickin shit
I'm like a Jew, savin dough so I can big whip
Pushin a Lex, now I'm set, ready to jet
No matter how much loot I get I'm stayin in the projects, forever
Jakes on the blocks we out-clever
If beef, we never seperate and pull together
When worse comes to worse and my peoples come first
Try to react and get them motherfuckin feelings hurt
My crew's all about loot
Fuck lookin cute, I'm strictly Timb boots and army certified suits
Puffin L's, laid back, enjoyin the smell
In the Bridge gettin down it ain't hard to tell
You better realize

I once accidentally revealed the cure for cancer in an unknown language, when I dropped a bowling ball on my foot. It sure was unfortunate that no one around me understood that language and they all interpreted it as "Aargh, fuck it all to hell".

got me tapping my foot

Had this done to my big toe nail when I was about 13 or 14. Some buddies and I saved up all our monies and rented out an ice rink to play some hockey together. They day before, I was cleaning my room so my parents would let me go. My t.v. was on a rolling stand, and I pulled it out so I could vacuum behind it, but I noticed too late it had three wheels as opposed to the four it was supposed to have. So as I pulled it forward, it tipped over where that missing front wheel was, and slid off the stand. I tried to catch it by the sides, but it was too heavy and slipped through my hands. Quick thinking lad I was, I tried instinctually to catch it with my foot (I didn't want to break my t.v.!), but only managed to catch the very corner of it as it smashed down onto my toe. Luckily my doc used these little threaded needles to make the three holes to relieve the pressure, not the bic and clip method. And indeed it didn't hurt at all, but my step-dad passed out watching them do it. Needless to say the resulting monstrosity didn't fit into an ice skate, and my buddies took my share of the rent and had a good ol' time. A little while later the entire toe nail fell off, and it's never looked the same since.

Blankfist - you needn't worry about my foot in your ass.

>> ^dag:
4. Bought my first 300 bps modem in 1985 for the Apple IIe.
auld skool. [edit - actually, if you were really old school, you'd have used 'baud' instead of bps.]

10. Married a catholic priest to my Aussie wife in Japan.
The Vatican is still trying to figure this one out.

^I hope he remembers that when I put my foot up his ass you can see my toes behind his eyes.

I successfully defied you by neither tapping my foot nor sinking a pint. God I'm so miserable.

I'm not a big fan of people doing things like this video... ie. taking other people's stuff and putting it together with minimal effort to try and be poignant. It almost works, though.

Whoever's biggest regret is yelling at a telemarketer, I'd like to put my foot up their ass.

I want to knock a dame off her feet with my foot funk.