I can see people need to read up on Cave Johnson.

http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/Cave_Johnson

Unfortunately, Valve's video description states this is the final investment opportunity video. We'll just have to settle for playing the game.

Thought it was cave Johnson...

Tags for this video have been changed from 'portal, turret, cave johnson, bullets' to 'portal, turret, cave johnson, bullets, jk simmons' - edited by brycewi19

Tags for this video have been changed from 'portal, turret, cave johnson, bullets, jk rowling' to 'portal, turret, cave johnson, bullets' - edited by jwray

Tags for this video have been changed from 'portal, turret, cave, johnson, bullets' to 'portal, turret, cave johnson, bullets, jk rowling' - edited by xxovercastxx

1979 - Both of Cave Johnson's kidneys fail. Brain damaged, dying, and incapable of being convinced that time is not now flowing backwards, Johnson lays out a three tiered R&D program. The results, he says, will 'guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past.'

Tier 1: The Heimlich Counter-Maneuver - A reliable technique for interrupting the life-saving Heimlich Maneuver.

Tier 2: The Take-A-Wish Foundation - A charitable organization that will purchase wishes fromt he parents of terminally ill children and redistribute them to wish-deprived but otherwise healthy adults.

Tier 3: 'Some kind of rip in the fabric of space... That would .. Well, it'd be like, I don't know, something that would help with the shower curtains I guess. I haven't worked this idea out as much as the wish-taking one.'

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I did some of that. After logging on, I got what looked like UNIX. I did LS, got two files. One was an application program, and one was notes. These are the notes:

1953 - Aperture Science begins operations as a manufacturer of shower curtains. Early product line provides a very low-tech portal between the inside and outside of your shower. Very little science is actually involved. The name is chosen to make the curtains appear more hygienic.

1956 - Eisenhower administratin awards Aperture a contract to provide shower curtains to all branches of the military except the Navy.

1957 - 1975 - Mostly shower curtains.

1978 - Aperture Founder and CEO, Cave Johnson, is exposed to mercury while secretly developing a dangerous mercury-injected rubber sheeting from which he plans to manufacture seven deadly shower curtains to be given as gifts to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee.

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