Just wanted to congratulate you on a masterful comment. Brilliant even.
I couldn't help but cackle....evilly.

In reply to this comment by dystopianfuturetoday:
What should we do with evil? Well, for starters, I'd give it a manicure; Then I'd poke it with a stick, after which I'd rub it on my genitals. Finally, I'd put it on a bagel with some cream cheese, but eat only half, saving the rest for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Evil is intangible. You could sooner defeat the color orange. The man asking the questions has a very small mind.

What should we do with evil? Well, for starters, I'd give it a manicure; Then I'd poke it with a stick, after which I'd rub it on my genitals. Finally, I'd put it on a bagel with some cream cheese, but eat only half, saving the rest for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Evil is intangible. You could sooner defeat the color orange. The man asking the questions has a very small mind.

No problem. I saw a vision of the Virgin Mary on my sourdough bagel this morning, so I took it as a sign to promote this.

In reply to this comment by Kuga:
Thanks!

In reply to this comment by kronosposeidon:
*promote the Blessed Virgin. Should have done this yesterday for Mother's Day.

that makes me giggle.

In reply to this comment by budzos:
I remember a funny cartoon in my university newspaper about this song... it ended with naked Alanis thanking random things.. "Thank you bagels, thank you monkeys." I remember getting a big LOL out of it at the time.

I remember a funny cartoon in my university newspaper about this song... it ended with naked Alanis thanking random things.. "Thank you bagels, thank you monkeys." I remember getting a big LOL out of it at the time.

Yeah, go ahead and laugh it up McCain haters. You all just don't understand a true maverick when you see one (hint: it has nothing to do with Top Gun).

John McCain doesn't play by your rules, because he thinks out of the box, lives off the grid, calls 'em like he sees 'em dreams impossible dreams and lives in the moment.

-John McCain uses a hammer to eat his breakfast cereal and a spoon to hammer his nails.

-When going to the movies, John McCain buys 3 tickets and then just sits in the aisle for the duration of the film, growling at anyone who passes by.

-I once saw John McCain destroy a parking meter with his bare hands. He took all the dimes and nickels, but left the quarters.

-John McCain brushes his teeth with shaving cream; shaves his face with shampoo; washes his hair with with whipped butter and takes his bagels with a thin coating of his own semen.

-John McCain is a rebel, and a living tribute to American individuality; if Ayn Rand were still alive, she would try to stuff John McCain into her vagina in a vain attempt to assimilate his many powers.

You go ahead and spout your fancy words, trying to understand the enigma we've named John McCain, but John McCain has no use for fancy words or names, because words and names are merely labels, and mavericks have no use for labels.

Henceforth we shall call him Mhlellgbnhwyllxinoufrn, the messianic man-servant of creeping infinities.

will it fit a bagel, tho

OK jmd - all of your criticisms are valid. This is actually a video that I put together for a New Year's Eve skit night at church. Most of it was done in a single afternoon and the special effects weren't intended to WOW anyone, but merely to provide a source of amusement. I would have loved to have used more varied footage, a better voice (this is the only one I have), toasted the bagel or some bread, cut a steel pipe, and many other things that I thought of. However, I have a job, family, and a life and the time I had available did not permit those indulgences. I hope you got a bit of a chuckle, if not... I am sorry to have wasted an entire 90 seconds of your life.

pho3n1x - I confess that I have seen the commercial that you are referring to although I never saw it until I had already conceived of my parody and had it storyboarded. Oh well... as I said before, it was all done just for a laugh.

They should have made it toast the bagel as it sliced through.

The only real interesting, non-obvious food she lists is canned soup - and her main complaint is with sodium. While sodium (or nitrates, which she mentions later) may be problems for some people, they're hardly the dietary concern most people should be focusing on (which is, for most people, macro-nutrient balance). That being the case, I'd say that soup is probably a better choice (again, for most people) than the likely lunchtime replacements: bagels, most sandwiches, or rice, pasta, or potato dishes.

If someone is worried about sodium, get a low sodium soup (of which there are plenty) - at least with a soup you're getting some nutritional variety. I'd also differ with her on fried catfish. Sure it's not perfect, but again it's at least some nutritional variety and has some balance in macro-nutrients (most people could use more protein/less carbs).

All I know is that Dag, James and Lucky are my heroes. For as much time as I spend on this website, $3.33 a month is insignificant. Besides, $3.33? That's a coffee and a bagel, or three drinks, or a double cheeseburger, McChicken and fries. I think I can part with those.

Mmm, and Barry's Bagels. Damn, I need breakfast.

I think pho3n1x has the plan.....semantics-plain and simple, and if you know it's a difficult thing, for some folks to process information from what they read, say it a couple of times different ways......"When making a single piece of toast, use the right slot only, and face the top of the bread or bagel, east, or right." (how to burn toast)

Fascinating sift.

The "truth" is 2.5 years. I am not going to cross dag's wife. Will take my pink diamond away.

I am glad that the discussion is getting away from the ad hominems of "she's mental" and "those kids are screwed" and I think that persephone has a very, very valid point when he/she/they point out that there is a whole baby industry built on telling families that only certain ways to raise children are correct and that if you don't purchase certain products or la leche it for 20 years . . .well . . .your child will certainly die.

This mother's behavior and her willingness to televise it is certainly socially aberrant. It reminds me of nudists in a way. I don't want to go so far as to say that they are stupid, mental, or damaging the kids, but at the same time, I don't want to see a guy without pants when I go to get a bagel in the morning.

I agree with ladybug that the health benefits at this late age are nonexistent and that this whole story reflects more on the mother's need for connection/attention than the needs of her children.

And the "mango" girl is so cool.

i liked the professor's sense of humor as well ... not some stick in the mud!

i love that university as well, rembar ... sometimes it's just the perfect place to sit and have lunch. especially this time of the year with the changing colors of the leaves!! abel bagels FTW!!!