If she has any drinks in plastic bottles use super glue to glue the cap on.
I have no idea if that will actually work but it's an idea.

I think I can help you out. But you must follow these rules exactly as written.

1. Buy some essential items that will come into use later: two (2) thick muslin clothes (no smaller than 6"x6"), a 1/2 cc hypodermic needle/syringe, a pack of Mentos (your favorite flavor), a can of acetone from Home Depot, a bottle of common house bleach (sodium hypochlorite), a small metal pencil box, a twenty dollar bill, a pair of binoculars.
2. Using the pair of binoculars, watch your prey carefully for days to get his or her routine down.
3. Pinpoint a place where your prey is always alone, and leave a packet of Mentos nearby. You'll need to leave them hidden enough where they won't be easily detected by passers-by. You'll want them later.
4. Next, find a homeless man with AIDS. You can probably find one under a bridge near a hospital or AIDS clinic.
5. Pay him twenty bucks for a syringe full of his AIDS infested blood.
6. Place the syringe inside the pencil box so you don't stab yourself. This will allow for safe carry.
7. Soak one muslin cloth with acetone, and the other with bleach.
8. Wait at the secluded spot you picked out.
9. When your prey arrives, put the two muslin clothes together. A chemical reaction will occur when the acetone and bleach mix creating chloroform. Quickly place that over your prey's mouth and nose.
10. Once your prey is out, remove the syringe from the pencil box and inject the blood inside him or her.
11. Sit back and wait. You can locate your Mentos for added snacking enjoyment.
12. When your prey awakes, surprise him or her with the news of your prank!

^Haha!

I work in a lab, so I have gallons of acetone should I ever want it. Also, plenty of needles around. I guess all I really need is the cloth and the AIDS blood.

One comes to mind, but it takes a fair deal of effort.

get a batch of jelly filled donuts, but remove the jelly in one of them and replace it with ketchup.

Egg her car. When she cleans it up, she should come in contact with the salmonella bacteria. Explosive diarrhea is hilarious.

Do it about week before you inject the AIDS virus into her. After she recovers from salmonellosis she'll think the worst is over. But she'll be wrong. Hysterically wrong!

A marine hell-bent on vengeance.

There's a story here.

Personally, you can never go wrong with shaving cream.

Strategically placed saran-wrap is probably a secret I shouldn't divulge.

I've said too much....

@berticus




Another MG blog post.




*runs away giggling*