I'm pretty wigged out by spiders, but I like snakes. So for me, I tried to mentally convert this video into a snake expert "handling" a cobra or something. The way I see it, sure, you can have an expertise level and skill level that would allow you to handle either sort of animal relatively safely. But even in that case, there aren't a whole lot of particularly practical reasons to put that into practice.

My hometown in Kansas has lots of bullsnakes. In my experience, large older bullsnakes are often pretty docile but the young juvenile ones are usually very defensive and will rear up, strike, and mimic rattlesnake sounds and actions. However, they are non-venomous and don't have "fangs", although they do have short teeth that can provide small, shallow puncture wounds if they get a good nip on you.

I like catching bullsnakes when I see them and handling them a bit before releasing them back into the wild. The docile ones are particularly fun, but even the juveniles that show some aggression can be fun to handle with some caution. I have never been bit myself, but I have seen people that have been. No lasting harm comes from that, and in most instances it wouldn't even draw blood -- the surprise of it is probably worse than the damage.

In spite of that, I have no interest whatsoever in handling something like a rattlesnake or other venomous snake. Looking at them, sure. But I don't see much practicality in handling them. In all likelihood, I could safely handle rattlers in the same way that I handle bullsnakes and avoid being bit. But the cost of failure would be higher (lots of pain and small possibility of death).

So at least for me personally, I don't think I'd be interested in handling black widows even if I was a spider person instead of a snake person. I'm not against the author of this video handling them, but I would stop short of the "you should try this at home" tag!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

http://wonkette.com/454808/fashion-update-ron-paul-possibly-wearing-eyebrow-wigs

Could it be true?

And who really cares?

But it is funny.

04:20

Woman: "What is the pancake name?"

Man: [looks helplessly towards camera] Robert? Is that a good name? Shit, how does she know I name my pancakes?




Smashing wig btw.

>> ^RhesusMonk:

True story:
Halloween tenth grade, I'm walking out of my house as Bob Marley. Torn jeans, ratty t-shirt, seventy dollar wig of dreads (it was the wig that made the costume, it was kinda perfect), and of course black face cuz I'm from NYC and who could possibly think a smart liberal kid is racist? My mother chases me down with a telephone, stumbling with the cord all wrapped around her, yelling at me to talk to her friend. I take the phone and her Panamanian best friend screams at me to STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!, like I'm about to walk in front of a train or something. Long story (and there was a very long convo about the irony and political statement of the whole thing) I washed my face.


Pussy.

True story:

Halloween tenth grade, I'm walking out of my house as Bob Marley. Torn jeans, ratty t-shirt, seventy dollar wig of dreads (it was the wig that made the costume, it was kinda perfect), and of course black face cuz I'm from NYC and who could possibly think a smart liberal kid is racist? My mother chases me down with a telephone, stumbling with the cord all wrapped around her, yelling at me to talk to her friend. I take the phone and her Panamanian best friend screams at me to STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!, like I'm about to walk in front of a train or something. Long story (and there was a very long convo about the irony and political statement of the whole thing) I washed my face.

You know what that tells me that I wouldn't make that joke at work? Because people I don't know may hear it, and telling jokes is not part of my job, since I'm an IT professional. This really isn't a hard concept to follow. You know what else I don't do at work? Talk about religion for the EXACT SAME REASON! But by your logic, I should never talk about religion to anyone, because someone might get offended! I don't talk politics at work because once again, it's not related to my job, and many people misinterpret things. Again, this is completely unacceptable in any other social setting? OF COURSE NOT! There are times and places for jokes, politics, and religion. Work generally isn't one of them.

It's not racism wrapped in a joke. Period. Definition of racist:

1. the belief that races have distinctive cultural characteristics determined by *hereditary factors* and that this endows some races with an *intrinsic superiority* over others
2. abusive or aggressive behaviour towards members of another race on the basis of such a belief

My joke was that society tends to unfairly assume blacks commit wrongdoing just because they're black. Does that imply distinctive cultural characteristics determined by hereditary factors? No. Does it say one race is super to others because of hereditary factors? No.

It's not racist. It is a social critique of inherent racism in society, mainly of people who are racist by assuming "the black guy did it" because he's black.

FYI, there are plenty of things I could say that aren't racist that are inappropriate for work. At work, you are to avoid doing or saying anything unrelated to your job that unnecessarily inhibits productivity. I really don't understand how you're having a hard time grasping this. It would be inappropriate to come to work wearing a clown wig in my job. Is that racist? NO! Is it wrong to wear clown wigs generally speaking? NO! You're being ridiculous.

HR departments exist to promote productive workplaces, period. Their gripe would be that I made a joke that could have been interpreted as racist, even though it wasn't. Sorting out whether it was racist or not is a waste of company time.

In summary, you're being ridiculous if you think all those comedians and I are racists for telling a joke that is social commentary speaking out against racism.

On to Bachmann...



You lose. She recounted her husband saying, "Now you need to go and get a post-doctorate degree in tax law." You're wrong, period, end of story. There's no "maybe" in that. He said "you need to", and she did it. According to her own words, her husband told her to do this, and she did it because the bible says "wives must be submissive to their husbands." Don't try to weasel your way out of this. That's a sexist view, period. Maher didn't mischaracterize her here in the slightest. He called out what he considers an idiotic stance that is sexist in nature. And he's right, it is sexist. Does he call her a bunch of names? Sure, but understand this - he never once implied that Bachmann or Palin are stupid or anything else BECAUSE they are women. They're stupid because they say stuff like, "I got a post-doctorate degree in law because my husband told me to, and after all, that's what the Bible says!" And guess what that means? His rant wasn't sexist. Biased? Rude? Sure. But let's call it what it was.

Calling both of them bimbos isn't sexist. He's stating they're both females who lack intelligence. He never implied all women are dumb, or dumber than men, or anything of the sort. Ditto every other joke he made, save the poll dancing, which was implying that's all she was capable intellectually of doing (not women generally), or he was being absurd juxtaposing an extreme conservative with pole dancing as a hobby, or perhaps pointing out that those so bent on "traditional values" are often the ones who commit acts that violate them repeatedly (see several high profile conservative leaders being busted for sexual harassment, homosexual encounters illegally in public places, etc). Not sure which of those, but it never suggested women are dumb because they're women. Unless of course, you're a conservative intentionally trying to misinterpret him, which in that case, kudos!

>> ^Winstonfield_Pennypacker:

I'm smart enough to know I'd never make a joke like that at work.
That should tell you something about it, should it not? If you wouldn't dare tell such a joke at work, why is the implied racism suddenly OK elsewhere? Racism and prejudice are not solitaire, or economic theory. They are cultural poison.
There's an entire section of culture that has been positive in this regard, and you don't see this?!
As I said - I see it. I just do not accept it as valid. I do not consider racism "OK" just because someone is being a racist while winking slyly. I do not accept prejudice as less vicious just because someone wraps it in a joke, or song, or some other form of entertainment. In fact, I think that sort of racism is (if anything) more subtle and therefore more pernicious and harmful. To me cloaking prejudice in entertainment is a cheap dodge, and I consider those who do it to be cowards of the lowest order.
It's therefore NOT RACIST!
And yet you admit you would not dare do it at work, even among your friends. Something "not racist" would be safe at work. The only difference is that at work there is an HR department that can punish you. Therefore you admit your comment IS racist, and your HR department would FIND it racist. But at home since there is no HR department around to punish your private conversations so it's all OK, ha ha ha aren't race jokes funny?
You've never heard of a christian husband telling their wife to do something and then she did it simply because he told her to? Uhhhh, Michelle Bachmann is on record saying that her husband told her to become a tax lawyer, and she did it simply because he told her to.
That's pure Bill Maher (I.E. BS). Bachmans said "the Lord" guided her to get a legal education, and her husband said "maybe you should go into tax law". Bachman has said that she was guided by her religious faith, and all her husband ever did was encourage her to follow her promptings. Her huband did not spank her, sit her down, and "order" her to be a tax lawyer, woman.
So according to Maher, a husband supporting his wife and encouraging her to follow her spiritual impressions is "sexist"? Really? As "sexist" as these wonderful gems?
"Michele Bachman's husband commanded her to become a tax lawyer? Guess she had already mastered pole dancing."
"Sarah Palin... Speaking of dumb tw&ts... (roar of audience laughter)"
"Bachmann, along with former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin would make two bimbos and then there’s Mitt Romney, a millionaire, Newt Gingrich, a professor. We just need a Skipper and a buddy and we got Gilligan’s Island."
And on and on. Oh - but it's 'funny', so that makes it OK, doesn't it?

>> ^kulpims:

you think it's easy to find a female nunchaku master that doesn't have a bent nose and smashed teeth? >> ^Duckman33:
Good thing she's cute because god forbid if I have to watch this and she was ugly...



Master? Considering none of the clips in this video are longer than 3 seconds, I think there's a very good chance she's not particularly skilled.

Give me some nunchaku, a camera man, a wig and a sports bra and I'll recreate this video in a couple hours.

Agreed. But it's equally possible these folks are biblically illiterate and therefore don't get the joke.

>> ^nanrod:

Would have been better if he actually looked like Jesus instead of some guy in a bad wig.

Would have been better if he actually looked like Jesus instead of some guy in a bad wig.

You have a cat with a pink wig on and THIS VID is disturbing? Huh.

>> ^Longswd:

Disturbing

>> ^bareboards2:

What I find funny is your use of the word "merkin" as slang for American.
From Wiki: A merkin (first use 1617)[1] is a pubic wig. Merkins were originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia, and are nowadays used as decorative items or in film making.

>> ^Deano:
>> ^Trancecoach:
Daddy's coming home in a box either way.

I thought that was darkly comic, certainly appeals to my English sense of humour. I imagine many merkins might not take it especially well...



LOL, this is SO going in the "You learn stg new..." talk.

>> ^bareboards2:

What I find funny is your use of the word "merkin" as slang for American.
From Wiki: A merkin (first use 1617)[1] is a pubic wig. Merkins were originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia, and are nowadays used as decorative items or in film making.

>> ^Deano:
>> ^Trancecoach:
Daddy's coming home in a box either way.

I thought that was darkly comic, certainly appeals to my English sense of humour. I imagine many merkins might not take it especially well...



I learned what "merkins" are... no wonder they voted for Bush!

What I find funny is your use of the word "merkin" as slang for American.

From Wiki: A merkin (first use 1617)[1] is a pubic wig. Merkins were originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia, and are nowadays used as decorative items or in film making.


>> ^Deano:

>> ^Trancecoach:
Daddy's coming home in a box either way.

I thought that was darkly comic, certainly appeals to my English sense of humour. I imagine many merkins might not take it especially well...

Hmm....all I heard was "blah..blah...my wig and I are trying to stay relavant...blah".