6:15am: Get out of bed and smoke cigarette before baby wakes up. Make coffee immediately so that eating breakfast and lunch can be avoided.
7:00am: Begin third cup of coffee.
8:00am: Sit on couch and encourage child to run around. Avoid running after him for any reason.
10:00am: Drive two blocks to school. Park at median height of campus to avoid walking uphill either direction.
11:00am-4:00pm: Have to walk off campus now to smoke. Every time I get back to class I want another one already. Can't complain, out of breath anyway.
5:00pm: Go to store, buy ranch dressing for tater-tots and vinaigrette for wife's salad.
7:00pm: Spend an hour cooking ultra-healthy, carb-free meal for wife and son. Snack on cheese-crackers and diet soda (not because it's diet, I just like it better).
9:00pm: Put son to bed, go outside to smoke and play with bokken: today's only exercise.
9:30pm-12:00am: Fold laundry, clean, homework, etc.
1:00am: First meal of day: leftover pastry dough I made for pie wrapped around salami and some lettuce (gotta eat your veggies).
2:00am: Wake up on couch to Galactica credits. Go to bed. (I average the actual, completely awake viewing of one episode every four days at this rate.)

There, now I don't even need a Fitocracy profile.

Nice to see an oyster post. We love them up here in Maine and have some of the best in the world. Champagne vinaigrette is also a great option to eat oysters with. A note on Oysters Rockefeller pernod wasn't invented yet, use Absinthe and watercress instead of spinach.

Goodbye, Mr. Newman. You gave us many wonderful portrayals, such as the uncredited fight spectator in The Joe Palooka Story, and Billy the Kid in The Philco-Television Playhouse.

Thank you for not showing your exposed genitals while exiting a car.

This one is for my homies. *pours balsamic vinaigrette on the ground*