What he did was just fine, heroic might be a bit much, but he did the right thing in pounding the guy who attacked him. He tried to walk away, and both of them kept throwing verbal abuse at each other. The black dud initiated the attack, Epic Beard Man finished it.

The only thing I see that's a little shady, is that he kept hitting on him for quite some time ~10 sec which was probably not needed, but if he thought the other guy had a knife, I would want to make sure he didn't come back up to shank me as well.

Gotta get more "collectivism sucks" videos up there, so qualm can turn into blind rage and accidentally murder a cop, go to prison and get raped repeatedly and then shanked.

So, I'm just doing my part.

In reply to this comment by blankfist:
Thanks for the quality!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
*quality

Balls of steel.

I love you Mr. Colbert.

I will *promote but be shanked due to my inequity.

But Steve, really. You rocked.

James Bond had nothing on you, that night.

Wish we had a thousand of you.

Salute.

>> ^detheter:
Your view is typical of the half thought out way your fellow countrymen approach most societal issues. Under your system, I would be in prison learning how to shank someone right now, so that when I get out to no job, life, family, I can kill your moms for her purse.


Are you directing your statements at me? If not then perhaps I misread your post. If so, then I'm not sure where you got the idea that I want drug users to be incarcerated, or even that I think convicted felons should be excluded from the workforce.

>> ^Psychologic:
They're only allowed to have 5g of weed? That's less than a quarter of an ounce (damn english system)... hopefully that is only a limit on the amount a person can carry on them.
The problem with the prohibition system is that criminal organizations control the distribution. Decriminalizing small amounts won't help unless people can grow their own plants. If users can't do that then they still have to pay those organizations to obtain the drugs, further funding their often violent activities.


People are going to pay the organizations anyways. At the same rate. Except unlike the U.S.A, now small time possession won't amount to criminal prosecution, freeing up police, and courts, to prosecute those violent criminals. They will also save money, referring to incarcerating people in prison for possession. This in turn will cease the production of criminals, who, while non violent and peaceful people who just wanted to get high, after being forced to join a gang and smuggle things up their assholes for their 'daddy', will likely leave the prison system after being repeatedly raped and beaten by hardcore inmates, and find themselves in a life of crime, thus creating more crime, more violence, and yes, more drug dealers.

Decriminalization leads to ordinary citizens remaining ordinary citizens, and criminals remaining behind bars. I live in Canada, and we have decriminalized small amounts as well. Your view is typical of the half thought out way your fellow countrymen approach most societal issues. Under your system, I would be in prison learning how to shank someone right now, so that when I get out to no job, life, family, I can kill your moms for her purse. Then you cry foul. Well foul on you friendo.

I gotta hand it to pro golfers in situations like this: hundreds of people lining your corridor to the hole. He at least hit the ball far out and away. I would have maimed a spectator 10 feet away from me by shanking immediately to the right.

>> ^demon_ix:
>> ^rosser99:
Certainly not a real Microsoft ad. Somebody should tag this as parody

The youtube user is ie8videos. His channel has an official logo and several other similar ads, with Dean Cain.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ie8videos
Don't tag stuff unless you actually know what you're doing, please.


You're right, if you go to the site advertised at the end of the video, not only is it owned by Microsoft, but it contains the video. These are purely designed to appeal to the interwebs and will never be shown on TV. Still, it's irritating when a monopoly pretends to be edgy.

Actually, the one that encourages you to send photos of prison shank cat to all your black friends has got to be more controversial then this. http://www.videosift.com/video/S-H-Y-N-E-S-S-Internet-Explorer-8

im going to tell you just one of my many many cop stories.


so, theres a victims assistance cop that comes into my job peridiocally for rape and domestic violence victims. he wanted to date little ole me for some odd reason. i am a snob and would never ever date a cop, but i was horribly curious and had lots of questions. so i told him i would go and he could call it a date if he felt like it, but i was going to call it an interview.... im terribly uninterested in any sort of romantic entanglement with a fucking pig. i flat out told him i didnt date outside my species. in his arrogance he thought this was charming.

so bea gets a babysitter, and gets all cuted up.. cop takes her to a baseball game. because beas LOVE baseball games.

then out for drinks the interview is conducted. i decide just because he is a victims assistance cop doesnt make him any less of an asshole and that he is desensitized (by necessity of course) to extremely horrible things.
my heart hurts for humanity.

he tries to date me again... i tell him im sooo not interested.
...oh but im so cool so he just wants to go have some beers and hear stories of my fascinating adorable life.

so whatever, i am fascinating and adorable and i do like to talk about me. so off we go again. all of that was LIES he just wants to talk about himself somemore (clearly we are incompatible!) and try to get me to go home with him so he can tell all his buddies that he got the feminist dyke hippie chick in CT to let her guard down and fuck his brains out.

the night progresses and its more and more apparent that my vagina makes me stupid and less than him. and that im like some sort of goal. i feel as if he made a bet about where this would go and hes trying hard to win. i also realize hes a fucking idiot.

he seems to have absolutely no clue why any woman wouldnt want to fuck him right then and there. i find this is a sign that he most likely is terrible in bed. so im ready to go, he tries to stick his hand up my shirt.
i say "um fuck no dude" so he pins me to a wall forcefully and squeezes the shit out my tits and one hand is heading south for my lady part. i grab his hand and squeeze, he leans on my tighter and there it is... big mean forceful hand on my puss. i push him off of me with all my strength and wish i had a fucking shank on me.

FUCK NO DUDE.
im about to punch him in the face but remember hes a cop and i would probably go to jail. so i spit on him instead and storm the fuck out of there.

so.... the victims assistance cop is a date rapist. hooray the irony.

oh and a few months later he calls me up for a booty call. wtf?!!??


edit: also, all the cops and paramedics i have ever known regularly drink and drive. hizzah!

Awesome!

Love the street wannabe thug flashing gang signs at the end. Heres hoping he got shanked in the airplane bathroom.

I writes rhymes for rehearsal
but first chill
I gotta little story to tell ya
how I almost caught a
bad one
add one to the list of 2,000 and 1
stupid things to do
I had crew when they stepped at a party
hardly even known I own a Smith & Wesson
but it's resting at home
in a shoe box
they see crews jock
so they wanna step and test the rep I got
I said 'Wait a second,
check inside my coat for a shank'
they must be imagining that I'm money in the bank
they'll get spanked
cause I'm not the nigga
I got bigga brothers waiting in the bushes
to mush kids
I talk when I wanna talk
never silence
violence erupts when I clown ya
catch a beat down ya
cause I never back away from niggas
even if you gotta pistol
I dare ya pull the trigga
but that's suicide
either you must die
or I must
so why bust me
cause I'm guilty
of being in the wrong place
at the wrong time
comin' at ya in the wrong state of mind
I'm now in a hurry
a pow when a flurry
of bullets come speeding by
I needn't die
I gotta make tracks & take back my words
I eat 'em
cause everybody knows I didn't beat 'em...

I'm out on the town
I don't frown at people
cause they tend to get offended
and then the heat will
be on my ass
I got class
never out of line, cause
I'm standing here without a nine
pistols I wish will not blast me
TAZ be circlin' corners
lookin' for Warners
you know the Brothers
me & you
we didn't do shit
but we get hassled
because we crew & we rollin'
this is my car
it isn't stollen
I hope you catch a slug
straight in your colon
when ya walkin' the beat
I bet ya gotta sheet hangin' up in ya closet
phuck this law shit
but there is two laws to follow, you know
there is laws of the city
and there's laws of the ghetto
I go to clubs with a smile on my face
just in case niggas look & wanna whyle in the place
cause of jealousy
Del is me
only me
niggas walkin' in poppin' shit
that's who the phonies be
peep it one night
and you'll see it it's quite clear
since we all know now
that's why we're
never in the wrong place @ the wrong time!

Damn, I hate cops!
I need to bust they chops
always gettin' props for the niggas they pop
peep,

I smoke weed
get weeded
cause I need it to calm my nerves before a pig get bleeded
I got busted for less than a gram of hash
they wanna cram my ass
in the slammer
that punk po-po
bringin' back hash from Amsterdam is a no-no
I didn't know they would catch me
punk mutt fetch me
stretched me out at Customs
gotta bust 'em
I can't call it
they found it in my wallet
now Customs got me
and I just can't stall it
I wish they would leave me alone
dog lookin' at me like
feed me a bone
he might bite me
very likely
they had to strike me with a fine or time
I said fine
mines was 500 bones
for a gram of hash
my mind was blown
come back to Michigan
so we can pitch again
federal offense
now I better go & convince the judge...

lets see..
so spring 2001 i must be 18...
my 2 best lady friends and i are leaving some function in downtown fort worth.. 2 am...
we get side swiped by this ass in a broken hyundai that promptly speeds off that
leaves us with a disabled vehicle on the northside (ooo thats the scary side where all the brown people live) of downtown at 2 am. police are called.
we sit on the curb to wait.

a hideous 1981 lincoln pulls up beside us, it was previously driving the wrong way down a one way street for quite some time.

road wolf steps out. unlaced combat boots, one sock, shredded shorty short cut off jeans, worn, greasy, smell molly hatchet shirt. coarse gray beard, dirty face, insane head of long gray hair. about 5'8" semi-girthy...

he is come to save the day. he cant leave 3 lovely young ladies alone on a dangerous street corner in the middle of the night. he will wait with us until the police arrive.

being the outgoing chatty one of the 3 who thinks everyone is great and should be welcomed warmly into my life without an ounce of foresight or thought. i procede to engage in fascinating conversation with road wolf, while my lady friends see exactly so clearly what will happen next. as they are blessed with foresight and haven taken an accurate account of my personal history.

i learn that road wolf lives in his car with 3 delightfully smelly stray dogs, 5 pots, 2 pans, 10 cans of beans, 4 changes of clothes, 2 canteens, 1 case of dog food, 1 can opener, 1 mug, 1 spoon, 1 fork, 3 blankets, and a quart of oil.

road wolf learns that i live in an old house by the university with some friends and work at a coffee shop near by.

he has apparently just been released from a mexican prison for killing a federali. he left behind his beautiful latin love. his heart is broken. but he is pissed the fuck off at some albanian coke dealers. they have done something terrible. they took off to san antonio and set up their headquarters there. FUCK THOSE ALBANIAN COKE DEALERS. he is waiting for some guns to arrive from his cuban friends, then he is taking off to san antonio to KILL THOSE FUCKING ALBANIANS.

instead of sounding paranoid and bizzarre to me, it sounds LIKE A GRAND ADVENTURE TO HAVE. road wolf wants to take me with him i say FUCK YEAH ROAD WOLF LETS KILL THOSE FUCKING ALBANIANS. i learn that he also hates the fuck out of castro and in his youth was hired by the mexican government to assisinate him. he failed. was humilatiated. and has vowed revenge. WHY THE FUCK NOT HOP ON A TRAIN TO SAN ANTONIO, SHOOT SOME FUCKING ALBANIAN COKE DEALERS IN THE FUCKING FACE THEN TAKE OFF TO CUBA AND ATTEMPT TO ASSISINATE CASTRO??!?!!? WHY THE FUCK NOT?!??! 18 year old bea thinks this an extremely amusing adorable conversation. and sooo excited to have made a fascinating new friend. with an irrestible combination of love and rage. perception and madness.

my friends settle up business with the cops, and drag me away from road wolf relunctantly. but not before he hugs me tight and kisses me passionately.

when we get home my friends have to inform me that road wolf is insane and our idea to run away together is fucking insane. and will never happen. he is a paranoid old bum and i am to forget that ever happened. he will not remember once his crack high wears off. ... ok.....

2 days later road wolf shows up at the coffee shop i work at with a trunk full of guns. apparently his shorts are even shorter this time and his shirt has been cut off at the waist. he informs the kids working the shop that he is here to see me "shes not working today" ..."ohh.. well i got all dressed up and combed my hair for her, were going to san antonio, ill just wait here" so the crazy crackhead bum spends several hours in the upscale yuppie coffee house offending people. and i get angry phone calls from my friends at the shop.

road wolf continues to show up at the coffee house either while im not working or have been forced to hide in the back room by friends who have more sense than i.

this goes on for about 2 weeks until road wolf shows up the shop i get a call at home (btw my home at this point is also where all the baby crusty train hopping punk kids hang out and sleep), so back to the phone call, work dude calls me "whos over there right now?" "ahren, josh, grayson,etc" "does ahren have his shank on him?" (ahren=boyfriendishlikebutnotreeeeaalllydude at the time) "sure..." " get them down here right the fuck and now have them take out road wolf once and for all"

jesus fuck, so me and the boys load into the car and drive to coffee shop upon arrival we see 2 police cars surrounding a naked road wolf.

he had apparently decided it was a grand idea to strip naked and smoke crack on the patio of the coffee shop.

road wolf was hauled off to jail and i never saw him again...

and noone had to get bum shanked in an epic hobo battle for my love.
xoxo
bea

1. i was baptized mormon
2. i spent ages 12-19 being thrown out of my house, tossed around to relatives and eventually just running away
3. it gave me a righteous love of travel and the desert
4. every single person in my family (extended too) is mentally ill, or has a personality disorder, excluding my children, seriously.
5. rush limbaugh is my cousin
6. i have ridden freight trains across the american west
7. i have hitchhiked in 15 states
8. i dont really like female authors
9. i almost aborted both of my children
10. i have a nephew with cri du chat, agenesis of the corpus collosum and cerebal palsy
11.i am very disappointed in the videos on cri du chat available on youtube, all those little pricks should have failed their biology projects
12. it annoys me when holistic wellness ignores or misrepresents science, but i fall for it sometimes, and also when science disregards the importance of taking care of yourself holistically, there is balance in the middle.
13. my brother is working on a phd in cosmology, 15 years ago he was addicted to crack, im proud of him
14. i spent 4 years married to an alcholic who beat me.
15. my kids have an imaginery dad that they made up, he likes dinosaurs, science, playing candy land, and bob the builder, at night he goes to his own house because we are divorced
16. men have shit their pants to be near me, yeah im that fucking charming videosift
17. arguments do not hold my attention very long
18. i will not talk to people who scream
19. im completely fascintated by the human body, and both of my careers are centered around it.
20. im completely fascinated by the evolution of culture. baking bread gets me going on a hardcore cultural evolution tangent FOR HOURS, my friends are sick of hearing it
21. i have lived and been sustained with zero material posessions (except, the clothes on my back and the shank in my boot) for an extended amount of time
22. all i really want to be when i grow up is a mom
23. my tubes have been tied for almost 4 years, i still take pregnancy tests regularly
24. i only post this shit so i can read what i wrote about me later
25. as a child of abuse, im a little more narcisistic than id like to be

he and some buddies (IIRC) broke into a hotel, armed, to steal some of his old sports memorabilia

I bet someone shanks that mofo for Nicole!

>> ^SSIops:
The title needs fixing. It says Shaw-hank, not Shaw-shank.


Doh. I swear if there's one thing I'm guilty of its thinking too fast and not giving my fingers a chance to catch up. I'm constantly making spelling errors with punctuation, grammer, etc nowadays. Thanks for the heads up.

The title needs fixing. It says Shaw-hank, not Shaw-shank.