"Thou shalt not evolve into new species". Brilliant!

If the retard who thought up this video managed to say every single scientific phenomenon is actually "God did it!", why not say "Yea, evolution is real, but it's God that makes it happen!".

If you're going to say "The first day wasn't actually a day (since there was no sun yet, or time for that matter), so when we say 4004 BC we actually mean billions of years ago, but we call the first few billions one day", why the f*ck would you waste time arguing about if the world is 6000 years old?!? Just agree that according the the bloody Gregorian calendar, it really was billions of years ago, it's just that you choose to count time in a different way! Then devise your own calendar according to which billions of years can be contained in one day, and presto! Your own creationist timeline!

WHY WOULD GOD PLACE FOSSILS AROUND? JUST TO MESS WITH YOUR F*CKING MIND?!?!?
I never understood how the argument that "Dinosaurs couldn't exist because they're not mentioned in the Bible" isn't immediately contradicted by the fact that the fossils aren't mentioned in the Bible either...

"Declaring that micro evolution was permitted, but not macro evolution". Where do you come up with this bullshit?

"This created confusion in the valley of the shadow of doubt, so God created Theologians to sort it all out". I give up. Say whatever you want. I'm going to do some math puzzles to try and restore some of the IQ I lost while watching this video...

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OK! After watching the whole thing, I will still keep this comment intact as a tribute to every theological discussion I've ever had with a person expressing the exact views this video is a parody of.
This deserves to be in the parody channel, but I'll leave it as is to make others go through the same mental frustration I went through

I always laugh at stuff like this because didn't we lose like 8 days after we switched from the Julian to Gregorian calendars? Watch, Dec. 21 is gonna hit, every thing will be fine, then 8 days later the shit actually hits the fan. I'm gonna LAAAAUUGH...

Regardless, all the planets represent less than .02 percent of the mass of our solar system. So if they all lined up on one side of the sun, it would wobble maybe a few hundred kilometers. This is all horseshit.