Dude, I appreciate that you took the time to explain yourself. I didn't make myself clear when I wrote my previous remark because frankly I was a little upset by the glib response from Memorare. Upon rereading my comment I'm a little embarrassed, because I don't like talking to complete strangers like that. I apologize.

Of course I tell my son that he's a great, smart kid and not to let those girls get to him. He knows he has me as a safe haven to unload all his problems, and I'm glad he shares with me. I've explained to him in detail that those girls are simply jealous and just want him to feel as bad as they do about themselves, and sometimes that actually makes him feel better. Other times it doesn't. After all, he's only a 9 yr. old kid who doesn't fully understand what motivates people to act in the ways they do. Plus he's also got ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder (the latter of which I also have), so it's not easy for him to let go of things.

Long story short: I respect your opinion and it sounds like you respect mine. We both understand there's no easy answer to every bullying situation, so I don't think we're actually TOO far away from each other on this issue. Thanks for sharing.

In reply to this comment by calvados:
@KP: You'll note that I said "the only thing that worked and I believe the only thing that does work against bullying (the physical kind, at least) is fighting back". So no, I did not and wouldn't advise that he hit them. Come on, man.

Believe you me, I underwent lots of verbal bullying as well. I remember once during a free period when one Chris F. kept stalking up to my desk repeatedly to whisper that I was worthless and slap me lightly about the head. I'd never cried from the pain of being hit, and the slaps didn't hurt, but after a few of his visits my tears rolled. That was just one example of (mostly) verbal bullying that I experienced; I got it almost every school day for a period of 2-3 years. I got it more often than the physical abuse. So yes, I know there's more to bullying than just physical force, thanks very much. I heard for so long from a variety of my classmates that I was useless, ugly, etc etc that I ended up believing it and it took years to crawl out from under that. So yes, KP, there's more to it than just force. You used the term violence to indicate striking, but I assure you there's violence in words as well.

I don't have all the answers about this, KP, although I get the sense you weren't genuinely asking me for any. That said, maybe I can say something that you can end up using anyhow. For my part, I tried to ignore the harsh words as best I could, though it didn't stop them coming and you can't fully block them out anyway, at least not when you're a child. Perhaps that's the best anyone can do, though. Did you think I'd say that he should talk shit in response to them? That might work, but probably not, and either way it seems like a lot of energy to sacrifice to negativity (which these unhappy girls are already doing to themselves). The single best thing that you can do is buck him up and tell him he's a great kid, that you're proud of him, that you love him, all the other parent things that you know better than I since I don't have kids. Tell him that this will pass. Between you reminding him of what he's worth and him doing his best to shut out the namecalling -- that's probably as good as it gets and will probably be enough. You could also try meeting with his teacher to discuss the situation, and it is surely worth a shot since it's one more thing you can do, although in my experience (many meetings between my parents and my teachers to discuss this very topic) it will amount to bupkus. Still, go for it. I don't think I'd recommend talking to the bullies' parents as this also generally results in sweet dick and the bullies will come to school riled up the next day and seeking revenge if mommy and daddy cared enough to give them hell.

To sum up: ignoring is probably the best way he can deal with verbal bullying (while you do your best when he comes home to give him courage and make him feel that he's worth everything; you patch him up, you are the Medic). That said, telling him he's a great smart kid if ever he's getting punched and slammed into lockers is not going to restore the balance. He will need to fight back, probably only once or twice, and then it won't be fun for the bullies anymore. The bullies aren't fighters and they aren't looking for a fight; they've found that they get a hot mean rush out of slugging a human punching bag. It is like a drug hit for them and if one waits for the bullies to outgrow their fisticuffs one will be waiting far too long. (Obviously this is from my own experience and extrapolations on the matter; others' mileage may vary, but it seems to me that kids are the same kids wherever you go, with bullies the same too, and I don't see how different it could be for somebody else.)

I'm sorry for your son's predicament, KP, it bothers me every time I hear about a kid getting tormented by his peers. I hope it goes well. Buck him up. One request, against the day when he may find himself actually getting hit: please, please don't tell him he's not allowed to defend himself.

@KP: You'll note that I said "the only thing that worked and I believe the only thing that does work against bullying (the physical kind, at least) is fighting back". So no, I did not and wouldn't advise that he hit them. Come on, man.

Believe you me, I underwent lots of verbal bullying as well. I remember once during a free period when one Chris F. kept stalking up to my desk repeatedly to whisper that I was worthless and slap me lightly about the head. I'd never cried from the pain of being hit, and the slaps didn't hurt, but after a few of his visits my tears rolled. That was just one example of (mostly) verbal bullying that I experienced; I got it almost every school day for a period of 2-3 years. I got it more often than the physical abuse. So yes, I know there's more to bullying than just physical force, thanks very much. I heard for so long from a variety of my classmates that I was useless, ugly, etc etc that I ended up believing it and it took years to crawl out from under that. So yes, KP, there's more to it than just force. You used the term violence to indicate striking, but I assure you there's violence in words as well.

I don't have all the answers about this, KP, although I get the sense you weren't genuinely asking me for any. That said, maybe I can say something that you can end up using anyhow. For my part, I tried to ignore the harsh words as best I could, though it didn't stop them coming and you can't fully block them out anyway, at least not when you're a child. Perhaps that's the best anyone can do, though. Did you think I'd say that he should talk shit in response to them? That might work, but probably not, and either way it seems like a lot of energy to sacrifice to negativity (which these unhappy girls are already doing to themselves). The single best thing that you can do is buck him up and tell him he's a great kid, that you're proud of him, that you love him, all the other parent things that you know better than I since I don't have kids. Tell him that this will pass. Between you reminding him of what he's worth and him doing his best to shut out the namecalling -- that's probably as good as it gets and will probably be enough. You could also try meeting with his teacher to discuss the situation, and it is surely worth a shot since it's one more thing you can do, although in my experience (many meetings between my parents and my teachers to discuss this very topic) it will amount to bupkus. Still, go for it. I don't think I'd recommend talking to the bullies' parents as this also generally results in sweet dick and the bullies will come to school riled up the next day and seeking revenge if mommy and daddy cared enough to give them hell.

To sum up: ignoring is probably the best way he can deal with verbal bullying (while you do your best when he comes home to give him courage and make him feel that he's worth everything; you patch him up, you are the Medic). That said, telling him he's a great smart kid if ever he's getting punched and slammed into lockers is not going to restore the balance. Ignoring is not enough when it's physical because there is greater harm being done, psychological more than bodily. He will need to fight back, probably only once or twice, and then it won't be fun for the bullies anymore. The bullies aren't fighters and they aren't looking for a fight; they've found that they get a hot mean rush out of slugging a human punching bag. It is like a drug hit for them and if one waits for the bullies to outgrow their fisticuffs one will be waiting far too long. (Obviously this is from my own experience and thinking on the matter; others' mileage may vary, but it seems to me that kids are the same kids wherever you go, with bullies the same too, and I don't see how different it could be for somebody else.)

I'm sorry for your son's predicament, KP, it bothers me every time I hear about a kid getting tormented by his peers. I hope it goes well. Buck him up. One request, against the day when he may find himself actually getting hit: please, please don't tell him he's not allowed to defend himself.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'author, actor, fisticuffs, grappling' to 'author, actor, fisticuffs, grappling, 1923, 2007, died Nov 10' - edited by choggie

I'm on the 'less guns, less deadly violence' side here.

I'm pretty sure I would've been shot dead long ago by someone I pissed off instead of just getting beat up had they actually had access to a gun.

If a person gets pushed into a homocidal rage and they have access to lethal weapon I'm pretty sure they'll end up using it.
If a person gets pushed into a homocidal rage and they don't have access to a lethal weapon they might simmer down and think twice before doing something.. or just resort to some fisticuffs.

I'm sure we'll all end up walking around with personal nuclear bombs eventually, though..

This was a great fight. The two guys just threw MMA out the window and went with some old school fisticuffs.

Nice sift.

I just watched the X-Files movie again for the 2nd time the other night, and damn they made her hot for the big screen. I could dote on her some more but you can see in my suggested tags above I've been thorough.

> she turns me on

What!?! I challenge you to a match of fisticuffs sir! she is mine!

After seeing the "Pornstar fisticuffs" video, I started wondering what sifters' reactions would be to watching actual pro female fighters. This is a collection of some great female athletes in mixed martial arts and submission wrestling. I doubt it has the same sex appeal as pornstars catfighting, but who knows what the reaction may be.

For my fellow grapplers/fighters out there, check out 1:12 for a beautiful leg reap to somersault takedown.

I would challenge that Dixiecrat to a match of fisticuffs.

Objection. The title is leading the witness.
Watching it with as objective an eye as I could, I saw the suspect reach his hand toward the midsection of the cop, perhaps even toward his bat-utility belt and that's when the fisticuffs ensued.