Tags for this video have been changed from 'house, tour, comedy, machinima, parody' to 'house, tour, comedy, machinima, parody, cribs, skyrim, mtv' - edited by xxovercastxx

Well, I doubt it's an assassination attempt literally, but this is a good reason to make sure cats can't get into the baby's crib at night. One full night of a large cat sleeping on a baby's chest and oops, no more baby.

Introducing the new Apple iPerson complete with multi touch and volume control, doesn’t it feel good to touch, doesn’t it feel good to touch, doesn’t it feel good to touch.

My world is so digital, I have forgotten what that feels like.
It used to be hard to connect when friends formed cliques, but now it’s even more difficult to connect now that clicks form friends.

But who am I to judge…

I face Facebook more than books face me hoping to book face to faces, I update my status 420 space to prove Im still breathing; failure.
To do this daily means my whole web wide world would forget that I exist. But with 3000 friends online only 5 I can count in real life, why wouldn’t I spend more time in the world where there are more people that LIKE me. Wouldn’t you?

Here it doesn’t matter if I am an amateur person, as long as I have a pro-file, my smile is 50% genuine and 50% genuine-HD, you will need blu-rays to read the whites of my teeth, but im not that focused.

Ten tabs open, hoping, my problems can be resolved with a 1600 x 1700 revolution, this is a problem with this evolution, doubled over, we used to sit in tree tops, till we swung down and stand up right, then someone slipped a disc, now we’re doubled over at desktops.

From the Garden of Eden, to the branches of Macintosh, Apple picking has always come at a great cost.
iPod, iMac, iPhone, iChat, I can do all of these things without making iContact.

We used to sprint to pick and store Blackberries, now we run to the Sprint store to pick Blackberrys, it’s scary.
I can’t hear the sound of mother nature speaking, over all that Tweeting, and along with it is our ability to feel as it’s fleeting.

You would think these headphone jacks inject in the flesh the way we connect, the disconnect, power ON. So we are powerless, they got us love drugged. Like e-pills, so we e-trade, e-mail, e-motion like e-commerce because now money can buy love, for 9.95 a month – click!

To proceed to checkout – click! To X out where our hearts once were – click!
I’ve uploaded this hug, I hope she gets it – click!
I’m making love to wife, I hope she’s logged in – click!
I’m holding my daughter over a Skype conference call while shes crying in the crib in the next room – click!

So when my phone goes off in my hip, I touch and I touch and I touch, because in a world where there are voices that are only read and laughter is never heard or I’m so desperate to feel that I hope the technologic in reverse the universes so the screen can touch me back, and maybe it will, when our technology is advance enough to make us human again.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Former Porn Actress, Virgin Mary, Crib, Joseph' to 'Former Porn Actress, Virgin Mary, Crib, Joseph, sasha grey' - edited by BoneRemake

Didn't Mirror's Edge crib the first person perspective from reality? These guys are just bringing it back home. Excellent sift, Sarzy. >> ^budzos:

Pfft they stole this from Mirror's Edge.
/every second nincompoop on the internet

>> ^blankfist:

>> ^NetRunner:
This is proof that free markets fix everything, especially education.

What do you think free markets are, just curious? I mean, in your own words what comes to mind when you hear "free market"? I tend to think of people interacting freely without coercion. But you may conjure images of the Kochs and multinational monopolies.
I see an innocuous system where people have the freedom to trade and create trade systems that best suit their needs. You seem to conflate free markets to the current US market. That's not a free market, it's the result of a false market created that forces the people to trade using one currency and one central bank system (as opposed to competing market forces), and where the legislators create a restrictive market that grants subsidies and welfare to the rich (Corporations) and robs from the middle and lower class (depletes opportunity, thus depletes employment).
But I'm sure you disagree.


What comes to mind when I see "free market" in most contexts is "here we go again, someone's trying to conflate markets with freedom".

To give a more rigorous definition, I'll go ahead and crib Wikipedia's: "A free market is a market in which economic intervention and regulation by the state is limited to tax collection, and enforcement of private ownership and contracts."

I think where we differ is our assessment of free markets, not their definition.

My assessment is that free markets can't be created, and if somehow one was created it wouldn't be stable (i.e. they'd stop being "free" quickly), and even if they could be created and stabilized, wouldn't constitute a just society.

God damn people. You shouldn't even being having children in the first place, selfish, inconsiderate, world-hurting people!

Anyway, this video is hilarious and guess what? It's a BABY. After five minutes it was all forgotten. I only remember the most horrendous things my parents did to me (and what constitutes as horrendous as a child doesn't hold up in reality) I'm sure they laughed in my face, told me that Jack-o-lopes were real hundreds of times, fed me asparagus (which I LOVE now), and all sorts of horrible shit that probably made me cry but I don't remember it. But, I do have a nightmarish story from when I was 3 that I still remember. It may have certainly impacted who I was for a couple years (3,4,5) but nothing more.

I think the most abuse I got as a child was from a doctor. I fell (more like jumped, haha) from the top of bleachers when I was 3 (explains a lot, right) and suffered a severe concussion. I actually remember being pissed at my mom for paying more attention to my brothers baseball game than me, and I wanted to go up to the top of the bleachers. So I did. When I awoke my mom was standing in the corner and I was strapped down to this X-ray machine - it had leather straps that went across my neck, my stomach, my legs and my feet. I panicked and started moving around spastically and the doctor in his little control room started making those leather straps, tighter, tighter and tighter until I could not move at all. I remember it hurting, bad. This lasted 5 or 10 minutes, if my memory of it serves me well. After the straps untightened, I immediately hopped up on that very same table and started screaming "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" towards my mom. I think my mom thought I was possessed, haha. I still think she should have done something, but I always feel more horrible about saying I hate you to my mom. I really, dislike the phrase "I hate you". It's just too much. But, anyway, that shit was cruel, but I doubt that incident had any sort of influence or factors in how I grew up, how my mind works or trust with my parents or doctors.

That is one of the few memories I have from my early childhood - the only other memories I have from that young an age was when an alien came into my room and freaked out climbed out of my crib but couldn't get the door open, my brother falling in two inches of water in the stream behind our house and he started crying profusely (even though I was 3 or 4 I started laughing at him) and the time my dad brought a RV home that had a sink in it. I remember being very fascinated by that. I'd suspect that something really needs to be strange or messed up for it to impact a baby, child or person in the long run.

The only trust issues I have are with women and that was not because of my mom but because of a she-devil.

Yeah, so make a big deal about a laugh, baby lovers! Just remember babies cry at everything, because they're fookin babies!

Your prose was matching his word for word, point for point..particularly about "thought crime".

Wow, this Hitchens sounds like a smart guy! Anyways, it's certainly possible I was cribbing from something (or several things) I've seen or heard, but I wasn't doing so consciously. This is all well-trodden ground, clearly, and I don't expect to leave any real footprints.

What's completely stupid here is your chain of reasoning. Christianity is centered on Christ; whether or not He existed is central. Most of what Christ said centered around His claim to be God, and judge of the entire world. If He didn't exist it isn't true. This is just babble at this point, dude.

Perhaps I can be more clear. Christ existing is obviously a necessary condition for Christianity to be true - but it's not sufficient. I suppose some people might say "Oh, Christ never existed so Christianity isn't true", but I don't think anyone's doing that here - and that's why I thought it was an odd thing to bring up. I think most non-Christian people here would say something more like "Jesus probably existed, and probably said more or less the same stuff that's in the Bible - but he didn't do miracles, isn't the Son of God, and didn't come back from the dead".

Do you think the church was so successful in controlling people that they could make them sing praises to Jesus while they were being burned alive?

This martyr argument is another one you come back to, but surely with any reflection you understand why it isn't convincing. Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on martyrs - there's been plenty of, for example, Muslims who've chosen to die for their beliefs in a great variety of circumstances, sometimes very pro-active ones. But even if Christianity has the most (or most spectacular martyrs), certainly there are many people who've died for all sorts of causes: religious, secular, or personal.

While it certainly says Christianity is a powerful idea that so many have died for it, I don't think an idea has to be true to prompt this level of conviction.

"Alright, where are them penguin bitches?!?!"
"Nowhere?!"
"Fuck it! Back to the crib, sister."

Verse 1
See, my house is a mad house/
Well hardly sit down and watch T.V cause yeah we got things to do/
And I got things to do/
Mum talks calmly for a while and then starts shouting/
Clean up the kitchen/
I always say i'll do it later/
Or yeah in a minute/
My house is a hot spot/
Everyday of the week someone will be in my house who don’t live here/
The neighbours ain’t got a problem with us/
Yeah music plays in my house constantly/
Constant noise but I wouldn’t have it any other way I love my house/
Total chaos, yeah its random/
Off key, different, no house is disimilar/
But for some reason it works/
My house is crazy you know/

Chorus

Our house, in the middle of our street/
Our house in the middle of our.../
Our house, in the middle of our street/
Something tells you that you’ve got to move away from it/

Verse 2

You hold a better conversation/
When born in grimey locations/
And that’s where you'll find my crib/
In the same area where the alkies live/
So I love my street/
You get bare joke when the alkies beef/
And though outside may reek/
Not in my crib no potpourri/
And we've just added new bricks/
So every other house in the street looks shit/
Compared to ours/
But its hard to get a decent kip when out comes the stars/
Because of all the beef in my avenue/
Neighbours fight so police in my avenue/
So you might catch me in my living room/
Up late writing to beats if I’m in the mood/
Or if not i'll be on the Playstation/
Or better still MSN conversations/
And everyone of our houses are Dadless/
So no wonder our houses are Madness/

Chorus

Verse 3

Sunday morning my day off/
I can smell that bacon cooking/
And mum's downstairs doing that weekly washing/
Singing along she's got that motown rocking/
And i'm shouting out ‘mum turn it down'/
Cos i'm tryna sleep right now/
Argh forget it I was getting up anyway/
Man I can't get a lie in any day/
So i'm downstairs arguing/
Mum chill out I won't have this in our house/
Ok, your house/
Then I had a little moan how the living room's freezing/
And then she starts screaming/
Mum I ain't being rude just turn up the heating/
She said 'move out if you ain't warm enough’/
Coincidently, suddenly i'm warming up!

Uhh...

>> ^DerHasisttot:

Thank you every one for making this possible! I want to thank the great cast, the crew was just terrific! The director... he pushed me further than I could ever imagine.
I had a horrible crash. And after a thorough @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://videosift.com/member/BoneRemake" title="member since July 27th, 2009" class="profilelink">BoneRemake and buying a new @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://videosift.com/member/Hybrid" title="member since January 29th, 2007" class="profilelink">Hybrid, I feel like I can achieve anything, "gwiz!" I exclaimed. The first thing I did after having a baby called @eric3579 with @NetRunner, was building a crib with not one, but @bareboards2. And of course i held a hammer in my @blankfist. Upon finishing the crib I accidentally swallowed a quantummushroom and everything went really shinyblurry. I felt a @dystopianfuturetoday, how bad would I feel tomorrow? " @arvana @Fusionaut !" I mumbled to my baby, but the little @burdturgler could not help me anymore... I had @Grimm visions of a giant @ant while i was in this @moodonia. "@dag nabbit!" This high was an @alien_concept for me.

Thanks to everyone else as well! :-)

Thank you every one for making this possible! I want to thank the great cast, the crew was just terrific! The director... he pushed me further than I could ever imagine.

I had a horrible crash. And after a thorough @BoneRemake and buying a new @Hybrid, I feel like I can achieve anything, "gwiz!" I exclaimed. The first thing I did after having a baby called @eric3579 with @NetRunner, was building a crib with not one, but @bareboards2. And of course i held a hammer in my @blankfist. Upon finishing the crib I accidentally swallowed a quantummushroom and everything went really shinyblurry. I felt a @dystopianfuturetoday, how bad would I feel tomorrow? " @arvana @Fusionaut !" I mumbled to my baby, but the little @burdturgler could not help me anymore... I had @Grimm visions of a giant @ant while i was in this @moodonia. "@dag nabbit!" This high was an @alien_concept for me.



Thanks to everyone else as well! :-)

Your mom says, “Hi” — Jinx!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah no no
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Summertime in the city
And everybody’s having sex
You know I just got a page from a girl that I met last week at the Payless
Shoe stores
I also have a cutie to call who likes the way I knock on her boots
Well let’s help them back
Let’s handle that
In two-to-six hours,
We’ll meet back here and regroup
Now let’s shoop
Roll up to her crib with some Bartles & James
Hop off the buss with the Alizé
Now hold up player, whatchu diggity-doing here?
I should diggity-ask you the same
And she sang
Hey, boys I want you both
I hope that you think that’s cool
(Say word?)
I know most guys won’t freak together
She forgot about the Golden Rule — a huh huh
It’s OK to put us in a three-way
It’s not gay when it’s in a three-way
With a honey in the middle there’s some leeway
The area’s grey in a one, two, three-way
Normally, I don’t get down with dudes
But tonight is a special exception (Great)
See you’re my best friend
Through thick and thin
Now it’s time to make a triple connection
Lights off
Here in the dark (Here in the dark)
It’s so hard to tell (So hard to tell)
Where her body ends (La la)
And my homie’s begins (Ew wee)
This rule dates back (The Golden Rule)
To ancient Greece (Takin’ about Cesar)
We’re two Jack Trippers and a Chrissy
The new Three’s Company
It’s OK to put us in a three-way
It’s not gay when it’s in a three-way
With a honey in the middle there’s some leeway
The area’s grey in a one, two three-way
Fellas. Get ready.
Doin’ us a chick
Helicopter d*ck, go! Hellicopter d*ck. Helicopter d*ck
Doin’ us a chick
Helicopter d*ck
And all of that was OK
‘Cuz it was in a three-way
It’s right there when you see the instant replay (boom)
Maybe two is enough
That’s what they’ll say
But we’ll say, “Hell no.”
It’s a one, two, three-way
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

>> ^ForgedReality:

This belongs in terrible


Sure, but I can't add it since I max out for seven channels.

And here's the crib for nap time.