On my LJ, I occasionally post "Kid Tales"

Here's the one that got it all started (circa 2002): 

When we decided to take down the xmas tree, the boys were most helpful.

Then second son decided he wanted to take the tree outside and play with it.

Okaaaay.....

next thing I and my guest know, someone is knocking on the door. I open it to be confronted with our now-bare xmas tree (ex-xmas tree? xmas ex-tree?).
"hey, what are you doing? I want the tree outside kid."

Then the tree spoke.
"I vant to come inside" the tree said in a somewhat muffled voice.

"NO, I'm afraid christmas is over and you have to go outside. No more trees in the house."

I close the door. Another knock. I open the door.
"Hey, hey.. HEY! I vant to come inside. YOUuuuuu LETMEIN!" muffled voice as tree shakes suspiciously. NUmerous giggles emanate from behind the offensive flora. I refuse reentry to the tree. I close the door. This routine repeats until...

*knock knock*
"Hey! HEY! I'm a tree... you letme in! I vanna come inside!"
(shake shake, giggle giggle)
I rest my hip on the doorway, cock my head to one side, and say "OH yeah? You seem a bit dirty... perhaps you need a bath"

"Nevermind. bye-bye" tree shakes and giggles. door slams in my face. Guest is reduced to shaking fits of laughter.

Life with weirdos, I tell ya.... who needs TV? I've got talking trees.