Can you imagine going through passport control in somewhere like China. The unremarkable officer would need to translate it to Chinese and tell his stern supervisor. Then the stern supervisor would have to repeat it to his stiff-upper-lipped British contact to confirm it was a genuine passport. I wonder if they could keep straight faces.

*loser

China would simply refuse this wanker entry.

Back in high school my friend Dan became obsessed with the name "Papapolychronopolous". I don't know where he heard it; it was still a couple years before Adam Sandler put out "Steve Polychronopolous".

Anyway, flash forward several years. Everybody in the area used to congregate at the local diner until we came up with something to do; it was not uncommon for the entire place to be filled exclusively with the group of people I hung out with during later hours. I come walking out of the bathroom to find Dan and an unknown girl sitting at the closest booth. Dan puts a hand out to get my attention and says, "Yo, Carl, what's my real name?"

I matter-of-factly replied, "Papapolychronopolous" and continued back to my booth. To the girl, Dan says, "See?"

The look of astonishment on her face at that moment was amazing.