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Arnold's Pizza Shop

submitted by ant

1 decade 6 months 1 week ago

"Hello, You've reached Arnold's pizza shop, I'm not here now, I'm out killing pepperoni.
If you want to reach me, or you want a pizza, i don't care cause I'm not here, can't you realize that idiot?!
But, if you need a pizza sometime during the next few days
i could have it delivered to you, or maybe i will staple it to you.
I don't care what you want on it, every pizza comes with pepperoni and with 9mm bullets on it.
If you don't like it, I don't care cause you'll receive one anyhow.
The only difference is, maybe the 9mm bullets will be in the gun or maybe they'll be on your pizza.
If you don't fuck around, I'll give you good pizza.
If you do fuck around, I'll take a pepperoni and punch it through your head.
So, if you want mushrooms, shut up.
If you want broccoli, what the hell is broccoli anyway, shut up with the broccoli.
If you want something crazy like a pineapple, I'll kill you.
If you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place.
If not your an idiot and deserve to die.
So, leave a name, number, serial number, how tall you are, whether your susceptible to any diseases.
And if you are, I'll come over, maybe I'll give you a pizza, maybe I'll break off your arm.
So, get back to me, or I'll get back to you, or I'll crush you like the will be piece of shit you are. So, leave it now."

From http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/1oqa4o/ask_me_to_deliver_your_favorite_lines/ccuksp2 ...