"People tried to make hacky jokes on Twitter about how Matt Damon should play the moon, but Matt Damon, those people, and everyone involved with running the servers at Twitter were flung far into space in the resulting cataclysm that detonated entire tectonic plates in seconds. In fact, the last tweet ever made was 'They should have asked Bale back to play Earth, hey why is the ground shaking? Da fu-'"

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