This isn’t Afghanistan. Your infantile puritanical sexual hang ups aren’t law. I’ll say it again, if you want Shariah law, move to Afghanistan.

I read more risqué literature in 6th grade….granted my school had us reading at college level by then. What I know is that people who can’t handle this by high school are the ones with the problem. Southpark goes WAY farther, REN and Stimpy, on Nickelodeon, went WAY farther, Family Guy on Fox goes WAY farther. Not to mention the internet giving access to hard core German porn to any 7 year old means frank discussions about sex need to happen before they ever log on. If this mention of sex gets you in a tizzy, you are woefully unprepared for life in America.

Most high school kids are engaging in sex acts like those described…but you’re upset they might read about them? So delusional, bob.

Since you’ve never passed even a grade school creative writing class, you have no idea what is appropriate. In a high school college prep class, this is totally tame stuff.

You know it, everyone knows it except puritanical deviants who hate sex and incels who are afraid of sex or pissed at those who get to enjoy it.

I have a friend who is a Beavis-and-Butthead level pyro. He loves blowing things up, and he feels that little things like forewarning may spoil the surprise. He has many claims to fame, but this is among the most notorious:

In the mid-90s, at the place we've been camping for 30+ years, he poured an entire can of Red Dot Smokeless gunpowder down an anthill, then lit it. This was cool for all of about three seconds when it hissed and sputtered like a little volcano. It was far less cool when the gunpowder-packed anthill suddenly went off like Mt. St. Helens. Dirt and REALLY fucking pissed off biting ants blasted high in the air before raining down on the heads of the unwitting spectators, and promptly taking their revenge.

There's nothing quite like being showered with burned, angry biting ants to round out a weekend. Jeff thought this was funny as Hell, because he'd scampered out of range when he realized things were going to go very wrong -- things ALWAYS went very wrong -- and had taken shelter upwind. Later, as in 4:00am the next morning, he set off a stick of dynamite in a creek for an encore, also without warning. And after the booming echoes settled down, the only sound for miles around was this maniacal, hysterical laughter echoing in the impenetrable dark.

To this day, if he starts laughing, I RUN.

My condolences on your loss(es), Ant.

Right after Jackass came out, a couple of friends-of-a-friend decided to stage their own version of the movie -- with a hornet's nest. They found the thing hanging from a tree at the edge of a field and it was not remotely on the small size. Also, this was in late August and the queen had already flown away, leaving the drones to slowly starve to death. Thus, the enormous number of stripey-stripey sting-stings were already good 'n' pissed-off.

They were about to get moreso.

So chowderhead A and chowderhead B have a brilliant plan: they're going to shoot this enormous ball full of astoundingly-irate murderous insects with a shotgun while they're filming it. If you're hearing banjos playing and luke-warm cheap beers being cracked open, you're about in the right frame of mind.

Places, everybody!

The stage is set: on one end, at what's decided to be "minimum safe distance", are our erstwhile David Attenborough/Jonny Knoxville knock-offs. At a decidedly NOT minimum safe distance away is the arthropod version of the T'sar Bomba. All we're missing now is a Mossberg, enough idiocy to think this can end any way but badly, and a camera. With far too much alacrity for what's about to happen, all three are provided.

Aaaaaand, ACTION!

* BOOOM! *

At first, surprisingly, nothing happens. This period of stasis lasts roughly a picosecond. Then, unsurprisingly, things start to happen and they happen far more quickly than the Chuckle Brothers planned on. This plays out in three acts:

Act 1: "Hey, uh, why is the nest still there?"
Act 2: "Uh-oh..."
Act 3: "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Hubris takes many forms, and schadenfreude takes twice as many, but both combined were statistically zero compared to the number of hornets involved in this fiasco. Had the two Mensa escapees who irked said hornets thought this thing through -- stop laughing -- perhaps they would have arrived at the conclusion that 1. a shotgun slug is not the preferred load-out when dealing with a ball made out of wasp puke and 2. being the only two things visible within a 20 mile radius of the ball made out of wasp puke pretty much negates the mystery of who the hornets are going to sting the ever-loving fuck out of.

With their plans in ruins and the nest not, our heroes decide to quit the field. This is the first smart thing they've done since looking at that big ball of wasps and deciding it was redolent with untapped hilarity. The hornets are having none of this white flag nonsense, however, and they decide to quit screwing around and really inflict some pain. It's a quarter mile back to the car and the hornets are going to make them pay for every inch of it.

The final score:
Hornet losses: meh, they were all going to die in a few weeks anyway.
The chucklenuts: 23 stings, a dropped shotgun, and three minutes of footage that they took in the pre-YouTube era and thus is lost to time.

Moral:
Hornets are not toys.

Lol....Faux news and Lary Elder, the black face of white supremacy who says descendants of slaves aren't due reparations but descendants of slave owners should be paid reparations*, are already admitting defeat and claiming vote fraud in the California recall, despite there being no results in yet, no actual fraud claims, and a week left to vote.

Polling indicates both that the recall will fail and if by chance it doesn't, Elder will lose....badly. (He's the leading republican candidate). That's why they're suddenly claiming fraud....claiming it by saying, just like Trump did, "the only way we can lose is if there's vote fraud", not by showing a scintilla of evidence of fraud.

Motherfucker, you're a republican in California in 2021, the only way for you to win any office bigger than a county office is fraud.

Republicans are a minority in California and are moving in droves to Texas now to avoid paying taxes (and they're quickly regretting it)....and Texans are pissed, they hate them and call them liberals. They have no chance of legitimately winning elections.

LMFAHS!!

* to do the math on Elder's slave owner reparation idea....$300 per slave/kidnapped and captive torture victim they had in 1863 dollars adjusted to 2021 dollars, that's $8,109 per person in just principal...add 159 years of compounding interest on $300 ($2,258,343,945.96 in interest each) as he of course thinks is only proper, and multiply by 3-4 million (number of slaves freed) it comes to well over the value of every penny the U.S. has and all assets in the country by far (approximately $6,775,000,000,000,000 on the low end).

That's apparently his brilliant plan to deal with racism and the economy...pay off those poor slave owners by giving them the whole nation lock, stock, and barrel and an iou for the other $6650000000000000 we owe those poor slave owners.

No, it's a medical, legal, and religious fact. One you disagree with, but accepted worldwide by governments and populations.

Doesn't the bible say murder is ok? Yes, yes it does. I do think there are many instances when murder is ok, like self defense. That is a widely accepted position too.

You fuck right off out of the U.S.....they legalized abortions first. If fucking right off is your rule, you go first, you were pissed at a political loss first.....then there's no abortion issue, outlaw it in your banana republic. Was it that hard? Fuck off moron.

Yeah, I have fucked right off out of Texas (born and raised there, btw), and I took my moderate estate with me...my parents did too. Texas's loss, they need people with money and property, and educations. They have just ostracized a majority of them. Enjoy bankruptcy, and prepare for most states and countries to stop doing business with Texas. Isolation didn't work for Texas the first time, it's not likely to work now.

Here's the thing: if average citizens didn't have guns, I'd be right pissed if the cops carried them.

I can't speak for the whole of whatever the fuck you think "liberals" encompasses, but here's my take on guns & cops: the constitution allows for guns within well-regulated militias. It was just worded really, really poorly. I mean, read 2A - it's practically authentic frontier gibberish. But the words "well-regulated militia" are definitely in there. And it makes sense - they were trying to secure a bold new type of governance. They needed to be able to defend that, and there was no immediate plan for a standing army. So local, reasonably well-supplied militias, which weren't a bunch of bumblefucks shooting at whatever whenever, were a pretty real need. Where we're at *now* with guns is so fucking far from what the founders could've possibly conceived, that to think they'd approve of it is absurd. I mean, maybe a few of them (they were quite the diverse bunch of white male landowners, in all sincerity), but those with solid military experience likely would've been horrified.

Having said that, it's fantasy-land nonsense to think the prospect of completely eliminating recreational guns in the US in the near term is viable. Hunting armaments will (and perhaps should) remain common for a long while, so be it. I see handguns and non-hunting long arms (or those that are excessive for it) as of significant negative value to society, they can all fuck right off into a metal recycling center or the armory of a well-regulated militia. Perhaps keep some at firing ranges for recreational target practice, with competent professional supervision, and with reasonable regulations in place.

Cops should have firearms in their armory, up until such time as we're living in a Star Trek-like utopia of blissful peace. Humans are largely cool, but some of us are dangerous fucksticks. Have cops pull guns for calls that seem like they'll be needed, and rely on less-lethal options as much as possible. Oh, and stop using the less-lethal options as fucking compliance-obtaining shortcuts. Don't fucking tase or use chemical spray when it isn't needed, they're not for the cops' convenience but to avoid more severe harms from occurring. Officer Friendly should be the order of the day, and any substantial deviation from that should be met with termination and arrest, with consequences no less severe than a non-police citizen would see. No more bad apples, no spoiled bunch.

Hey, thanks for the rant opportunity! Us liberals need to practice our high horsing from time to time. And just like God, we all love you. You specifically, you goddamn sexy hater.

Arizona secretary of state, Katie Hobbs sent a letter to the Arizona attorney general yesterday asking him to please investigate Donald Trump. And of course his close allies, Rudy Giuliani, and possibly even Sidney Powell for possible election interference in the state of Arizona.

Here's what happened in case you missed it last week, it was revealed that both the Trump white house and Rudy Giuliani on separate occasions and on multiple occasions made phone calls to officials in the state of Arizona following the November election, trying to get them to stop the counting, begging to be called back. In fact, it got so bad, the Arizona Republic detailed two separate attempts by Trump to reach Republican supervisor Clinton Hickman in the weeks after the election, as the president's allies sought to alter the election results in a state he narrowly lost to Democrat Joe Biden at the time, Hickman was chairman of the board of supervisors, the elected body that oversees elections in the state's most populous county, Maricopa. Hickman received the first call from the white house switchboard on December 31st while he was out celebrating the coming new year with his wife and friends, he let the call go to voicemail.

Second call came on the night of January 3rd after the Washington post published a recording of Trump's hour long phone call with Georgia secretary of state Hickman sought to avoid talking to the president because of ongoing litigation, any let the call go to voicemail and yes, for the record, the Arizona Republic does in fact have those voicemails where you can hear what they were trying to do. Then of course, Rudy Giuliani steps in, he starts emailing or I'm sorry, texting and calling the chairwoman of the Arizona Republican party, trying to get her to somehow interfere, stop the counting of the votes. Honestly, it is pretty much identical to what these idiots were doing over in Georgia, trying to get them to stop the vote, trying to get them to go find the votes as Trump said, and let's not forget... Trump is already under criminal investigation in Georgia. I know we all get distracted with New York, but there have been two grand juries empaneled in the state of Georgia regarding Donald Trump's potential criminal election interference in that state. That's a big deal that everybody seems to have forgotten about.

And now the same thing might happen in Arizona. There's a catch here. Arizona's attorney general, a Man by the name of Brenna Vich Is running for US Senate as a Republican. So he's got a lot, uh, got a lot at stake here. He can't PISS off Republicans by investigating Donald Trump.

Brenna Vich did, in fact, support Arizona's sweeping new voter suppression laws.

Edit: btw, multiple Republicans including but not limited to McConnell have gone public with their plan of hoping they can cause maximum chaos and division for the next 18 months because it will help them successfully block any and all legislation, then they can blame the gridlock on Democrats during the election. Total nationwide chaos with the corresponding rise in crime and damage to the economy....that's the Republican plan for victory. True patriots. 🤦‍♂️

Better donate to the Trump Twitter lawsuit quick before they manage to destroy your investment portfolio with the planned chaos...Trump can't sue social media without your cash donations because he's really a billionaire so he needs your cash...pay no attention to his standard microscopic fine print explaining that he may, at his discretion, use your donation for personal debts. Doesn't matter, DONATE NOW. He needs your money....to fight the invisible fight against those paper tigers and windmills. Please don't remember when he did the exact same thing begging for money to fight for the "election fraud" fraud in court but then pocketed the money and fired his (now disgraced and disbarred) lawyers without filing a legitimate lawsuit.

The professor did not lose face. He had valid questions and issues with what he saw, proposed alternative possibilities that could explain the phenomenon, and accepted the answer after further experimentation and explanation.

That is how science works. Science is not a pissing match (or at least, it shouldn't be).

All I know is that I'm going to be really pissed off. I've got vacation coming and that's one of my stops on my road trip.

Now that Trump is admitting publicly (on Hannity) that he knows (and always knew) he legitimately didn't win the 2020 election, are you ready to admit it too?

How about, since Trump is selling pricy tickets to his idiot tour with Hannity with scheduled dates through December, meaning he knows full well that the dumb lie that he will return to office in August is a nothing burger lie....are you ready yet to admit he cannot return to power without a civil war fought for one person...a civil war you snowflakes are no where near prepared to wage? He is. Apparently this has pissed off the Q crowd who are finally beginning to see they've been duped for 5 years, just like everyone told you.

Dude, that shitter's nicer than my condo and I'll bet less bums have pissed on it, too!

That just pisses me off. Really gets my goat!

Lol. Really? What did he let slip that pissed them off?

Don't forget, since he has federal immunity, he can no longer claim the 5th and can be forced to testify in federal court against his co conspirators....and not just these three.

Everyone who got blanket pardons can be forced to testify against Trump or be in contempt indefinitely. A pardon is both an admission of guilt and a federal immunity deal.

You can legitimately hate them because you don't like Top Gear or rich people. But here, May is just pointing out a very stupid design flaw. Calling a mechanic won't make the problem go away. He spent an hour looking into the problem, and it's an education for fellow Tesla owners. Is that a crime?

I guest that Tesla Roadster episode especially pissed you off? They're petrolheads, of course they bash the Roadster in those early days of EV to justify the V8 and V12s for their vroom vroom thrills. It's called TV antics (deceptive? Yes). Most have come around to recognize EV is the future. You think every races/segments in Top Gear are unscripted? Come on... Top Gear's been just pure entertainment and no reporting every since Clarkson took over the rein.