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Videos (116) | Sift Talk (2) | Blogs (9) | Comments (413) |
Videos (116) | Sift Talk (2) | Blogs (9) | Comments (413) |
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Drunk UConn Kid Goes Nuts After Being Denied Service
"I don't understand"
Yes, that's pretty apparent.
They should have citizen arrested him the second he touched the manager, on the ground face first. At least eventually they went there.
What a silly little douchebag. Mommy and daddy are going to be pretty upset with him, especially after he gets expelled with no refund.
Karma's a bitch, huh?
Biker saves two treed kittens
Where was the mommy cat? Too scared to go up?
Frozen Lullaby by Garfunkel and Oates
*promote (got me by 5 min)
When a man doesn’t love a woman very very much
He signs away his paternal rights and jizzes in a cup
Then with lots of money and scientific genius
Hormones, pain and of course, um… Jesus
The process begins the way god intended
With a transvaginal ultrasound
With a wand longer than a ukulele
When it comes out of my body, it makes this sound (pop)
I give myself daily intradermal injections
An acute blood thinner and estrogen concurrence
Cryopreservation through hormonal activation
And none of it’s covered by insurance
Then I’m knocked out and you’re removed
And combined with a stranger’s come
And as the saying goes
You win some, you lose some/you dispose of the defective ones in a hazardous waste bin
And then you’re frozen until I’m certain
It’s time to unthaw you into a person
Then you’ll expire or you’ll make the grade
And that, my darling, that’s how babies are made
(It’s so easy and natural)
CHORUS:
Hush little egg baby don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna freeze you til she gets rich
And when that day finally arrives
You’ll be constructed in a petri dish
With sperm donor 8w6-3
The silent partner of our family
So hush little egg baby don’t be sad
Just because I never fucked your dad
VERSE 2:
I know there are orphans everywhere
But I’m going to pretend that isn’t real
Don’t look at me like that just cause I admit it
You had kids and you knew the deal
Yeah I feel guilty about overpopulation
And ruining the environment for forever
But Osama Bin Laden had 20 kids
So fuck you or whatever
Sadly procreation is not a meritocracy
And we need to prevent a real life Idiocracy
Though it may be the ultimate form of narcissism
It’s also a way to re-reverse reverse Darwinism
Gonna mute the sound of that ticking clock
I just need the sperm now I don’t need the cock
My ovaries are like hey girl I’m over here
And I’m all like shhhh
I want all the stuff I don’t need a bucket list
It doesn’t make me greedy it just makes me feminist
Now I’m thinking back through all the guys I’ve dated
If they heard this song they’d fucking hate it
CHORUS:
Hush little egg baby don’t you cry
You’ll have the best genes mommy can buy
I don’t want to wait until I get in dire straights
My friends say if I want kids I should go out on some dates
But these working bitches don’t have time to leave it to the fates
The world deserves more Riki’s and the world deserves more Kate’s
So hush little egg baby dad’s are overrated
He did what mattered when he masturbated
BRIDGE:
Hush little egg baby just hold firm
Mama’s gonna buy you designer sperm
And if that sperm gives you random traits
Mama’s gonna test your dna
And if your dna doesn’t make things clear
Mama’s gonna just have to live in fear
And if that fear turns into guilt
Mama’s gonna hold onto what we built
And if I hold too tight as to suffocate
I’ll buy you lots of things to overcompensate
And if that overcompensation’s too transparent
I’ll pretend it’s somehow better with no male parent
And if you say but mom who’s my dad
I’ll say I don’t know and it’s just too bad
And if that badness forms a hole in your heart
I’ll want to make it up to you but won’t know where to start
I’ll probably start by saying it’s just you and me
And there’s no such thing as a normal family
So fuck being normal and let’s do this shit
Momma’s gonna freeze you til she… gets…. rich
Snug-a-licious clothing for comfy kids
Yay, more advertising.
Somebody do something! Help? Mommy?!
Running Baby Goats
Thats a lot of kids.... Mommy must be really tired...
Rescued cougar orphans
D'awww! Sorry about Mommy, 'tho, little cubs.
Baby Bird Rescue
Internet videos have definitely destroyed my ability to enjoy a sweet video like this.
I kept expecting as the mommy and daddy birds approached for them to actually be predators the baby was hiding from in the PVC pipe and that they'd tear apart the bird in front of the guy who was just trying to save it.
Learning ABC's with the power of METAL!
Like all great metal songs, ends with "I want mommy"
I've got something in my eye. I blame the penguin.
Mommy, when I grow up I wanna be a penguin pimp.
Baby elephant falls down, receives help
Are they really both mammas? Not daddy and mommy?
Adorable Children's Argument
Yeah? Well my mommy could kick your mommy's ass!
Last Week Tonight - Ferguson and Police Militarization
Freedom of speech is not freedom of criticism. If you can't take the heat or make shitty comments prepare to reap the whirlwind. I'm not the one that has expressed anger in terms of physical violence. So I hope you remember that as you read back your self righteous speech to yourself as you pat yourself on the back comparing myself and Lantern.
Ridicule is the norm for changing social behavior. We ridicule anyone who thinks women shouldn't be able to vote, we ridicule anyone who still thinks the world is flat, we ridicule anyone who still thinks the sound barrier is unbreakable.
This is how the world works. Get used to it Enoch. Lantern and Bob are racist rednecks who have a long history of expressing shitty backwards behavior. They've been a hair's breadth away from being banned numerous times. Be glad that ridicule is all they get.
Lantern and Bob are big boys they can hack it, or they can leave. They don't need you running in like an overprotective mommy protecting them from a skinned knee.
the situation in st louis did not just pop up out of thin air overnight.the tensions between the poor community (mostly black) and the police has been a festering pressure cooker for almost 15 years.
a particularly venal chapter in the st louis police archives is the RNC of 2008,for anybody to absorb some context on the militarization of a police force.
the tinder has been accumulating just waiting for the match.
mike brown WAS that match.
this is not new nor original.
it has happened before.
and as @lantern53 has pointed out:it is the chain of command that sets the tone of how that police force performs their duties.so if those in charge are authoritarian douche nozzles,that attitude tends to trickle down to the everyday cop on the street.
cops by their very nature are authoritarian due to their vocational choice.they respect the chain of command and the authority it represents.to follow orders is to be a "good" cop.
so i do not understand the ridicule that lantern is receiving.he is offering his perspective AS an actual police officer.i am not suggesting that he is right NOR that his opinion somehow exonerates the st louis cop JUST because he is a cop but rather we should listen to someone who actual IS a cop.
there is absolutely ZERO evidence that lantern is a bad cop.we simply do not know how well,or poorly,lantern is at his job.
there IS evidence,however,that lantern tends be a tad racist,authoritarian and contradictory.lantern may be a poor debater but that does not make him a bad cop.
though his defense of zimmerman does reveal an extremely poor judge of character.(seriously lantern?that dude is a full fledged cunt).
but i get it @VoodooV,
lantern is easy pickings.
a right wing authoritarian conservative commenting on a mostly secular left site?
its like shooting fish in a barrel.
sometimes lantern brings it on himself...i know.
his poor debating skills coupled with an almost embarrassing understanding of history and government makes him catnip to someone like you.
its
just
so
easy
i disagree with lantern,pretty much always and i agree that sometimes his biased rhetoric should be taken to task,if only to clear up the bullshit.
but you take it to whole new levels voodoo.
you follow him from thread to thread and chastise and belittle him and THEN act all hurt and shocked when he lashes out at you!
seriously?thats like poking a grizzly bear in the face and then crying when it rips half your face off.
you use the exact same tactics choggie used,but at least he was entertaining.
you are just a bully.
a hypocritical,sanctimonious bully.hiding behind the skirts of others who may find lanterns comments distasteful (which they certainly can be).this is a cowards path and just like all bullies,you rely on the silence of others to continue your persecution of someone who does not have the support of an entire site.
i find your lack of humanity disturbing.
and i will not be silent.
your actions do not deserve respect but rather ridicule.
Grimm (Member Profile)
Your video, Don't Cry, Mommy Will Make It Better, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.
This achievement has earned you your "Pop Star" Level 44 Badge!
Anti-Gun PSA Makes the Case for Women With Guns
Having a gun for self defense only works if you are willing to shoot and kill someone. There are all sorts of messed ideas around Mommy killing Daddy, for whatever reason.
The reason Daddy has a gun in this video is because guns are everywhere, easily accessible and always in the hands of people willing to use them. If she had a gun, but lacked the steely nerves to use it properly, she's likely only going to hurt herself or her baby.
Statistically, the answer to gun violence is not more guns. Sorry, but those are the facts.
Law Student Prevails Over State Robot Thug
Aaaaand you sir or madman with your offering, are wholly without merit and I spew with confidence bereft of interesting banter on a plethora of issues as well. Oh, and your grammar is lousy.
What's YOUR country of origin pray-tell, I'll dump a tow-sack full of her problems on your bed after trick-or-treat and we'll pick-out which ones mommy said you're allowed eat with those ugly teeth god botcha..
hate people that go out and bait cops, and this is whats wrong with america