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Videos (338) | Sift Talk (20) | Blogs (25) | Comments (1000) |
Videos (338) | Sift Talk (20) | Blogs (25) | Comments (1000) |
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Earthquake interrupts Petrinja"s mayor press conference
Trump would have just farted. And then shit his pants. And then blamed it on Obama.
That's one way to get out of answering reporter's questions.
Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying "Hello"
Yeah, you laugh, but this is pretty much a real thing. I didn't know you're not supposed to make eye contact with fellow riders on the Tube. Being the happy American sort, I did exactly that, including a smile and a nod to the poor bastard who looked up at exactly the wrong moment. The look of disgust and British disapproval on his face would done a New Yorker proud.
I've never wished I had a fart in the chamber so bad in my entire life.
Mordhaus (Member Profile)
Brutal. That’s dildos. Worse than a scuba tank full of farts.
Still trying to pass a kidney stone. Sorry for the absence.
I Come Seeking Guidance
What a dumbass. Clearly he was being told he takes life too seriously. Loosen up. Let your hair down. Fart sometimes in quiet gatherings.
Casually Explained: AMERICA!
60% of Americans can't find the US on a map, and 100% of my statistics come directly from my ass, but when I see another American in Europe, my first thought is "are you lost?" and my second thought is "oh Christ, please don't open your mouth."
Seriously, if the Americans, Brits and Chinese had a cunt-off to see who were the most insufferable tourists, the Germans would come busting in, grab the gold, silver and bronze, fart loudly on a child then fall drunkenly into the nearest canal.
Wait, that was my last trip to Ghent.
Leslie Nielsen Brings His Fart Machine To "Late Night"
/me farts.
So I've heard. 🐜 ☁️ ☁️ ☁️
Leslie Nielsen Brings His Fart Machine To "Late Night"
I don't need one since I am the farting machine.
C-note (Member Profile)
Your video, Leg press loud fart gym fail, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.
Leg press loud fart gym fail
Won't work, they've been sniffing their own farts for so long that they are now immune.
Not cool, canaries haven't done anything to deserve that....I'm using a Republican to test for deadly gas.
DC3 stall into a spin w/ bonus skydivers
I call BS. I think someone farted and the pilot just wanted to air out the fuselage as quickly as possible.
Found the cutest skunks ever
"Found: lost kittens. Cute, but MAN can they fart!"
Lada Unexpectedly Combusts
That's one hell of a fart.
THE BOYS PSA: Wear a F-cking Mask!
Not wearing a mask is not about your freedom to not wear one. Just try not wearing clothes in public and discover how your freedom is working for you then.
Cover your head holes before someone farts in your general direction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvJF0j-RLxk
Brave Men Save Pelican Tangled In Fishing Line
I love 84!
I had some friends into exotic cars and we'd take 84 over to the coast now and again, mostly because we had a shit-ton of money and a shit-ton of spare time to kill -- the Dot-Com fucking rocked!
There's a bend in the road just outside La Honda on the coastal side that's a 15mph hairpin with a tree at the apex. It's a lovely goddamn thing, especially when you forget it's there. So here we all come, lane-trading and exercising general assholery in cars that cost what a nice single-family home does.
Oh FUCK, the turn!!
My friend in the 911 does this beautiful trail-brake and swings through the curve. Elise follows suit, complete with smoking tires. Next up is Countach. He BARELY holds it together, but gets through without any real drama.
Now it's my turn.
Did I mention I was driving a '97 Camaro Z-28? Yeah, Camaros of that year are good at exactly one thing: driving very fast in very straight lines. Corners? Yeah, not so much. I realize I'm in trouble and I'm coming into the turn WAY too fast. I grab the shifter and get ready. My plan is that I'm going to slam it into first, let the rev limiter do its thing to save the engine, pull the e-brake and swing the tail, then punch it and swing the ass-end around and launch out of the curve with smoking Z-rated tires and all!
And HERE WE GO -- grab the shifter, yank it all the way down and...
That's when California emissions standards fucked me.
You see, when you buy a Camaro Z-28 in California, you don't actually get first gear. You get what's called a California First, which is actually SECOND gear, because if you were actually able to use FIRST gear, the goddamn car would belch enough emissions to make a farting Brontosaurus blush. And second gear ain't exactly gonna work for my little plan.
tl;dr is that I hit the no-lock brakes hard enough to get my speed down and was able to bring the ass around with the little e-brake trick. I wasn't out of the woods because I over-corrected on the way out and spun. The same God that I spite and don't believe in actually saved my ass and I didn't end up going off the road. Apparently, he loves fools and Z-28 Camaros.
I honestly had more fun in that car than the law allows: sometimes literally, like when I got clocked at 110 coming onto the straight at King City. Good times, man, good times.
I love that stretch of coast.
As a teen I used to party at hidden beach a few miles North. The only access was a sketchy 6" wide path on the cliffside, so we knew cops wouldn't bother us there.
Should've taken 84 home, less time driving in the stink and you could've gotten great BBQ in La Honda. ;-)
Dethklok - Go Into The Water
Still waiting for the other single from the album- Scuba Tank Full Of Farts