the crucifixion of Jesus was a victory for the intolerant god-worshipers and a defeat of a man trying to love the people oppressed by a dogmatic and systematic religion. They killed him legally.

2000 years later, we're waiting for jesus to come back.

wont matter in 3 more years.

your pondering is an exercise in pointlessness, infidel.

the poles are going to reverse in 2012, at which point, a vengeful mayan god will wake up from a long nap. All those not baptized with the power of the Melchisedech Preisthood, stripped from the earth after the crucifixion and failure of the surviving apostles, then restored to the earth by jesus and the angel moroni through the prophet Joseph Smith, shall perish.

All Mormons currently in orbit on this earthly plane will follow the zombie prophet, bringham young, to Missouri. Where the mayan god, known to those in the latter days as Jesus Christ, shall reign as king for 1000 years. Worker Ants of Zion will be busy. happily enslaved by their heavenly king, digging up the names of every soul that has ever been sent and moved on from physical existence, for the past 6000 years. tirelessly baptizing every dead mortal being in global history. preparing for the final battle between good and evil. assembling their tabernacle armies. so that Yahweh almighty can finally cast his judgement on humanity and every soul he thought to create can take their place in one of three levels of his merciful heaven.

then my parents will eventually get their own planet. and ill be a motherfucking princess.
bitches.

>> ^Krupo:
The title is flippant, but the dark moment from the history of the New Testament was meant to show the fear and pain associated with scourging and crucifixion - people talk about this aspect of religion but this "died for our sins" talk is just empty if you don't understand what kind of horrors it's associated with.


I know what you mean about the "flippant" comment but I was honestly trying to reveal nature of torture to the many pro-torture American conservatives here on the Sift.

Rome surely thought it was protecting itself and its interests with this kind of behavior.

The title is flippant, but the *dark moment from the *history of the New Testament was meant to show the *fear and pain associdated with scourging and crucifixion - people talk about this aspect of *religion but this "died for our sins" talk is just empty if you don't understand what kind of horrors it's associated with.

Very cool of you to say so. Thanks.

In reply to this comment by lullaby_lune:
Hey there,
I'm in and out of the Sift, so I'm just now taking a look at some of the comments on my Dr. Seuss Bible post. I wanted to thank you for your comment (about a month ago, now) mentioning how very unfunny a Crucifixion Machine actually is.

The video definitely has some dark humour.. that I wasn't quite sure how to take myself. (You might have noticed my caption) So I mostly preferred to present the video as-is and let other people decide for themselves how they were going to take it.

I love seeing the different styles and methods people use to retell stories - and yes, that includes sacred texts. Sadly, as you said, some people are too "eager to mock Christianity" to notice the cruelty in what was being presented. While I'm certainly glad a lot of people appreciated the humour in the video, I'm equally glad someone spoke out about the cruelty of it too.

So thanks!

Hey there,
I'm in and out of the Sift, so I'm just now taking a look at some of the comments on my Dr. Seuss Bible post. I wanted to thank you for your comment (about a month ago, now) mentioning how very unfunny a Crucifixion Machine actually is.

The video definitely has some dark humour.. that I wasn't quite sure how to take myself. (You might have noticed my caption) So I mostly preferred to present the video as-is and let other people decide for themselves how they were going to take it.

I love seeing the different styles and methods people use to retell stories - and yes, that includes sacred texts. Sadly, as you said, some people are too "eager to mock Christianity" to notice the cruelty in what was being presented. While I'm certainly glad a lot of people appreciated the humour in the video, I'm equally glad someone spoke out about the cruelty of it too.

So thanks!

This is what the word "crucifixion" was invented for. Perfect, flawless victory over the entire debacle.

Emmy winning.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'crucifiction, machine, Jesus, story, rhyme, hullabaloo, grumpity, uppity, shoes' to 'crucifixion, machine, Jesus, story, rhyme, hullabaloo, grumpity, uppity, shoes' - edited by kronosposeidon

There's a difference between reverence for a martyr by wearing a crucifix and mockery of him. Based on your explanation of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, I believe that you have a limited understanding of the doctrine of the Atonement. I agree that many people's definition of Christianity is absurd, but I am annoyed by people who don't really understand the gospel as it was taught by Jesus Christ, and yet they feel entitled to look down upon and mock believers.

In reply to this comment by hpqp:
In reply to this comment by thepinky:
You're all so eager to mock Christianity that I think you failed to notice how perverse this is. I wonder what's funny about a crucifixion machine. Considering the hundreds of thousands of people that were brutally and indiscriminately murdered in that way, both in the ancient and modern world, a crucifixion machine is about as funny as gas chambers and guillotines. At least gas chambers and guillotines are quick, whereas crucifixion is prolonged torture. Yeah. Hilarious.

Crucifixion was horrible torture, true. So: how many people have you seen lately wearing mini guillotines around the necks, or praying in front of mock gas chambers? How many people do you know, on the other hand, who worship an omniscient god who sent his son/self to get brutally tortured and murdered as a scapegoat for his believers?
Despite christianity's absurdity, millions still believe in it. Sometimes the absurd can only be tackled with more absurd. It's called satire.

>> ^thepinky:
You're all so eager to mock Christianity that I think you failed to notice how perverse this is. I wonder what's funny about a crucifixion machine. Considering the hundreds of thousands of people that were brutally and indiscriminately murdered in that way, both in the ancient and modern world, a crucifixion machine is about as funny as gas chambers and guillotines. At least gas chambers and guillotines are quick, whereas crucifixion is prolonged torture. Yeah. Hilarious.


Gas chambers and guillotines can also be funny, if you're not averse to a little black humor, and if it is done in a respectful way. If we are going to talk about negative connotation, we might consider the appropriateness of Christianity to have an infamous torture device as its main symbol.

In reply to this comment by thepinky:
You're all so eager to mock Christianity that I think you failed to notice how perverse this is. I wonder what's funny about a crucifixion machine. Considering the hundreds of thousands of people that were brutally and indiscriminately murdered in that way, both in the ancient and modern world, a crucifixion machine is about as funny as gas chambers and guillotines. At least gas chambers and guillotines are quick, whereas crucifixion is prolonged torture. Yeah. Hilarious.

Crucifixion was horrible torture, true. So: how many people have you seen lately wearing mini guillotines around the necks, or praying in front of mock gas chambers? How many people do you know, on the other hand, who worship an omniscient god who sent his son/self to get brutally tortured and murdered as a scapegoat for his believers?
Despite christianity's absurdity, millions still believe in it. Sometimes the absurd can only be tackled with more absurd. It's called satire.

Crucifixion, brought to you by the letter T.

Happy Blasphemy Day!

You're all so eager to mock Christianity that I think you failed to notice how perverse this is. I wonder what's funny about a crucifixion machine. Considering the hundreds of thousands of people that were brutally and indiscriminately murdered in that way, both in the ancient and modern world, a crucifixion machine is about as funny as gas chambers and guillotines. At least gas chambers and guillotines are quick, whereas crucifixion is prolonged torture. Yeah. Hilarious.

I have Season One on DVD, and they talk briefly about this sketch and the difficulty in getting it shot. Primarily with the CBC Carpenters Guild; they were all very Catholic and refused to build the Crucifixion Machine. So the Kids had to spend a weekend at the studio building it themselves.

>> ^pipp3355:
This year in papakura, there were no deaths during the easter period.
Easter: the resurrection of Jesus from the dead on the third day from his crucifixion.
Atheists: just a coincidence?


Wow, you convinced me!

The number of accidents in papakura during easter in 2009 are somehow connected to events in a collection of stories written 18-1900 years ago!

A M A Z I N G

I wonder if Jesus said to the disciples;
"you dudes think this resurrection is the shit, just wait till' 2009 and you live in Papakura, New Zealand. During this period, you will have a 0% chance of being in a car(next big thing, just watch) accident!