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The Kryptonian Mind Raper, standard issue personal retcon. It's like an emp blastwave except that it gives everyone within a mile radius crippling anxiety and false memories of rape and/or molestation.

Now Superman can change wherever he likes and no one is gonna say shit. Just slinging his super dickery dock around whenever and where ever he pleases without fear. Like dad after the midlife crisis.

The sight of Superman causes the afflicted to obey all commands, urinate uncontrollably, and even with 100 years of therapy and behavioral analysis, they will NEVER betray his most secreted lifestyle as Clark Kent, mild mannered asexual prick.

It's really an awful technology but it's either that or Superman has to be Superman all the time. Or he has to locate a photobooth or retro arcade with the Jurassic Park machine -- Para Paradise might work, but he would have to mask his intent by flapping his arms around wildly.

It just occurred to me, where does Clark Kent change into Superman these days? Maybe he's got an app.

Oh, everyone smells it. They just don't mention it - just like his Clark Kent pair of glasses "disguise" and the fact he wears his underwear on the outside.

"Is it a bird, is it a plane ... what the hell is that smell?"
"Dude! He just saved your life, cut him some slack."

Comb his hair, remove the glasses and voila, you've got Clark Kent.

Yeah, Tony Stark and Clark Kent are two very different individuals. Clark always puts others first, to the point that he won't use all his strength and power to its full extent, because he knows he could cause more damage than the villain he's trying to stop. Yes, he's a boy scout, but there's a bit of a lesson in a story about an alien who tries to act more compassionate towards humans, than most humans.

Also, he's THE superhero. period. I don't care if they make his powers and villains not realistic. I'm so fucking tired of lex luthor. He's a great villain, but geez, give it a rest already. There's a bunch of other great villains in the superman lore, and it's about time we see him be matched physically and not just intelectually. Zod is one, Darkseid is another. I would also love to see Doomsday or Brainiac.

I don't think we need another Iron Man. I love Iron Man, but Clark Kent is not Tony Stark.

If you want funny read a Deadpool comic.

Superman has other weaknesses - a quick example is his compassion. Superman may be nearly invulnerable but the people he loves are not.

>> ^kymbos:

@Deano, agree it was the best, but that doesn't say much. And still there's the whole 'wearing glasses - Clark Kent, no glasses - Superman' silliness.
I saw a great idea for Superman written somewhere. Maybe Reddit. I've googled it and can't find it. It's something like Superman is around in the 1940s, but Lex Luthor puts him into stasis until around now. In the meantime, Luthor builds a mighty media conglomerate and slowly convinces humanity that Superman wasn't a hero, but in fact was evil. When Superman re-emerges, the world sees him as a massive terrorist and loathes him. He has to overcome the distorted power of modern media and a malleable, ignorant populace to defeat his enemy.
Something like that. Not my idea, but a great way to modernise the story a little.


That idea sounds a bit weak to me. He'd only need to get a good PR firm and a twitter account and he'd be sorted!

@Deano, agree it was the best, but that doesn't say much. And still there's the whole 'wearing glasses - Clark Kent, no glasses - Superman' silliness.

I saw a great idea for Superman written somewhere. Maybe Reddit. I've googled it and can't find it. It's something like Superman is around in the 1940s, but Lex Luthor puts him into stasis until around now. In the meantime, Luthor builds a mighty media conglomerate and slowly convinces humanity that Superman wasn't a hero, but in fact was evil. When Superman re-emerges, the world sees him as a massive terrorist and loathes him. He has to overcome the distorted power of modern media and a malleable, ignorant populace to defeat his enemy.

Something like that. Not my idea, but a great way to modernise the story a little.

No, no NO you guys! Didn't you see the differences?! Clark Kent is a crab fisherman now! It's completely different!

>> ^blankfist:

>> ^rychan:
I want to like these movies but... so cheesy. That batman voice is ridiculous.

The voice is a bit much and somewhat comical, but do you think they chose that because it was the best way for him to hide his voice from others who knew him as Bruce Wayne? That's always what bothered me about Superman, that he could put on a pair of glasses and transform from the epitome of the human physique to the mild-mannered Clark Kent.
To me, the Dark Knight was the best of any of the previous Batman movies. Any of them.


Agreed. But if someone ever adapts Frank Miller's dystopian vision of the DC universe, I will die happy. Superman as a government controlled weapon versus an aging freedom fighting Batman on horseback? Yes, please.

>> ^rychan:

I want to like these movies but... so cheesy. That batman voice is ridiculous.


The voice is a bit much and somewhat comical, but do you think they chose that because it was the best way for him to hide his voice from others who knew him as Bruce Wayne? That's always what bothered me about Superman, that he could put on a pair of glasses and transform from the epitome of the human physique to the mild-mannered Clark Kent.

To me, the Dark Knight was the best of any of the previous Batman movies. Any of them.

Was it that obvious?

Probie is my mild mannered alter-ego; my Clark Kent to my now abandoned 100-plus star account.


In reply to this comment by Fusionaut:
You have replace Keanu_Reeves as my favourite puppet.