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The Onion
Updated: 1 decade 1 year 5 months ago
Views: 11,955
America's finest news source.
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New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion.
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Citing White House Pressure, Hennessy pulled the Biden ads saying "Joe will always epitomize the smooth, original style of our world class cognac."
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Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.
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Holy shit! Did Infinity Ward actually co-create the machinima section in this?
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Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. "Initial attempt to dilute spill by spraying it with... continue reading
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The nation's poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.
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Researchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 A.D.
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Adult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue. The Onion reports.
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Panelists warn about the dangers of getting Stoked and whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos.
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After several months and several missteps, the Republicans have finally found the ideal leader for their political party.
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This just in: teleprompter maintains line between President, smallest sign of imperfection.
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Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
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Unfortunately, a 17-year old teenager who didn't have pig-eyes and a squared haircut was the victim of a horrific car crash only a lying scumbag such as Glenn Beck would deserve.
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People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
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Anna Stephenson stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's already obvious homosexuality.
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Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.
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In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.'
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