not to sound bitter but damn I just give up. The few videos I find and try to sift are dupes and the ones I find that I believe are AWESOME don't get sifted. I think my tastes are just out-of-synch with most folks. Hell that's no surprise at all, but damn I really thought SOME of the music vids I submitted might make it but *shrug* I guess not. No love for left-of-the-dial music from the 80s and 90s. Mostly, I'm tired of taking a day trying to find videos and the only ones I can put up that get sifted are more of the same old  kids bunnies and people falling down. I mean, really. At one point I noticed that the top 15 was NOTHING but comedy vids. For three days in a row. When a non-comedy finally showed up, it was a "cute" vid.

I never thought I'd get tired of comedy but between my husband always putting on comedy when we ride together in the car (with Sirius radio) and videosift's constant barrage of comedy clips, I wonder why I don't just start watching television again. What's the damned difference?

Yeah, I'm tired. Lil Miss needs to get the hang of sleeping alone soon or I think I'll lose my ability to reason right along with my sense of humor. 

lately lil miss has been waking up when I wake up, going to bed when I go to bed and only napping on my lap. This is I believe what people mean when they say "joined at the hip" or possibly "blood-sucking leech" haha

In any case, I thought I'd mention that I'm awake and she's asleep. Yes, this is the big news of my life. Do you think I need more coffee?

Actually what I wanted to tell everyone was that we watched "Juno" last night. It was very good. It has a lot of tearjerking moments but for anyone who grew up listening to things OTHER THAN disco and pop music (meaning actual Punk and Deathrock and Hardcore and underground stuff) it was a serious blast down memory lane. THere's more counter-culture references than an old issue of "Search and Destroy" magazine. Not only that but frankly the two main actors who play the teenagers are astoundingly good - because the script gave them realistic dialogue (not thirty-year-olds in teenager bodies) and the direction had them acting just as awkward and transparent and painfully quiet as teens are in real life. I know because not only was I one at one point, I have two as well. Juno reminded me so much of myself at that age - know-it-all, total outsider, opinionated, yet still so very young and vulnerable. She carries herself like a champ but this is not the old hackneyed "tough chick" type of character, this is more like naiivety substitutes for cynicism; Juno isn't so much tough as she is terribly romantic underneath just so damned scared to let that through. There's not a "Happy ending" nor is there a bad ending. There's just what happens and it's acceptable because its very very real. You can't help but like everyone in this movie... well one character turns out to disappoint, but that doesn't make him evil or bad.... just disappointing. I think the theme of disappointment runs throughout this film and a lot of it is really about dealing with facing that sort of problem without hystrionics or melodramatic posturing. Juno has romance because she's 16. She not at all a poetic soul, but she is clearly still a child in many ways, as is Bleeker. The raw terror they display when speaking to each other despite their desperate desire to be together is almost painful to watch but it is also sweet and tender. Unlike many movies with "star-crossed lovers" I didn't feel the overwhelming urge to scream advice at them... because they are kids and they are learning their own way. But I could nearly hear all the undercurrents and thoughts running through  their heads as they played out their moments.

Its a good film. You should see it.

and the nighttime woes keep going.... oh please baby, just lay your head down and sleep.... better yet, STAY ASLEEP!!!

and i find I don't even remember the first month of her existance. Maybe it was the after-surgery drugs? Soupskin says I slept in the nursing chair.... easy to believe considering she STILL is addicted to nursing. This is why my submission record has been so sporadic. I'm not even going to mention how long it's been since I wrote in my "real" blog. 'just sayin' is all.

The new teeth are cute tho 

I decided the sift needs more "happy". Not just "funny", "cute" or "love" (although there's always room for more love) but just good ole' "happy".

 Show your agreement by upvoting some "happy" around the sift.

After reading the email sent to Dag, I'd like to say a few things about it. Cuz its MY blog and I can. (and I didn't want to continue the siftquisition thread as it was done and decided)

I don't buy his smarmy childish attitude in the email.

He's as bothered as anyone would be; reading over 100 comments by other people who clearly dislike him. To pretend he doesn't care about that is to call him a robot.

Whether he is delighted or despairing, misses the point; he's a troll. I didn't think so before because I haven't been around here long enough but that email sure clinches it.

 He doesn't answer the charge at all. He only says 'well now yall gotta clarify the rules - haha'

Chee thanks guy we really appreciate you FORCING us to spell out rules of conduct as if the whole intarwebby was nothin but a bunch of pre-schoolers who need to be told how to use the buddy system. That were reeel nice of you. We R Stoopit too! Heyuk heyuk. Ain't it grand how all the doofus liberals are all in a tizzy tryin to figure out how to deal with the likes of big boogeyman you? Har de har har. Woohoo you gots the nice people all a fluttered.

Gimme a break.

Maybe its cuz I spent too much time on the Hannity.com forums but frankly I'm fed up with so-called right-wing-nut-jobs treating me like dirt just because I espouse the ideas of tolerance and peace and love. TOlerance doesn't mean I let someone step all over me. Peace doesn't mean I let some jackass call me names. Love doesn't mean I let someone punch me repeatedly. I'm not a christian at all but I do believe in turning the other cheek when one can. Jesus wasn't talking about getting the shit kicked out of him, though, he was talking about turning away anger. Nothing dissapates anger like acquiescence and a peaceful attitude unless you're talking about a psychotic rage. THat's when its time to put yer dukes up and defend yourself.

Yeah, I'm talking about assholes who traipse into a perfectly decent place and throw their trash everywhere. I'm talking about assholes who see a bunch of very nice people and decide to purposefully take advantage of their tolerant nature. I'm talking about bullies.

And free  speech or not, bullies need to be shown their place - the floor.

To my dying day I'll never understand why tolerant people think its their job to put up with assholes. Being tolerant doesn't mean being a sucker or a punching bag. There's a difference between "tolerant" and "doormat"

I once wrote a long post in my LJ about how I wasn't putting up with right-wing shitheads anymore. I had an epiphany and I'm glad.

trying to teach Lil Miss how to go to sleep without a boob in her mouth.

It's not going well for any of us.

Oh my aching head, back, arms, wrists.

Good thing babies are cute.

I been lazy.

Well no, actually, I hurt my wrist and wearing a support makes it uncomfortable to type a lot on the laptop. Since I spend a lot of time at the laptop (feeding Lil Miss) I don't get to use the desktop much.

But things is changing... kids are like that. She's getting teeth! She's actually going up to three hours between feedings! She's able to sit up and play alone!

So it is that I "wake up" after the last five months, look around and say "damn, this place is going to shit!"

The short version being; I been lazy. And now its time to stop being lazy. And you know what that means; coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. 

I didn't make my gold star before the year was out.

*pout*

eye doctor confirmed it: I need bifocals.

It was funny cuz I think he thought I'd get all upset about it. Nah... I don't mind being 41 and I'm past being uptight about wrinkles (still don't have any yet) grey hair (plenty of those) needing more sleep (weird but no complaints) and other aspects of aging. Bifocals? Okay, so long as I can keep reading!

In other news... we had nice NYE's quietish time with close friendsand then my mom's traditional breakfast the next day where EVERYONE cooed over Lil Miss. Now everyone's napping (except me) and we have some tasty leftovers YAY!

Hope everyone had fun this past holiday. Looking forward to a sifty year!

yay! yogurt!

so here's the link

The mother-in-law is coming today. We get along okay; if anything, my prejudice and suspicion of rich people sometimes makes interaction awkward. She probably deserves kudoes just for my cold wary attitude at times. She loves her grandchild to pieces though and thus does my heart begin to thaw.

Yeah I decided today is "self-awareness day"

Except today is also "zomg clean like hell day"

a leetle more vacuuming and maybe dust again downstairs (pets just keep ona shedding) and maybe I can tackle my desk after doing the bathroom? Here's hoping...

So when I was single and pre-kids, I used to make this soup that always went over really well. It was in my early, "experimental" days and thus is based on pre-made food. But it was always a bit hit with soup eaters. Basically, it's jazzing up Campbell's:

1 can of cream of shrimp

1 can of clam chowder

1 can of lobster bisque

1 can of cream of potato

pat of butter
ground nutmeg

cracked pepper

that's pretty much it.

So, the other day I was in the grocery store and I'm thinking "wow, I haven't made that soup in a long time... it's winter; what the hay"

So I'm standing there, in the soup aisle. If Campbell's still makes lobster bisque, I didn't see it, only the really expensive brands of lobster bisque. Well J wasn't eating with us that night and the boys dont' exactly have gourmet tastes to warrent buying expensive stuff so I skip the lobster bisque and get everything else. Follow directions on the can and make us some soup. The only "issue" I had with the soup was the fact that it didn't have much in the way of protein. So I reached into the freezer and grabbed my ever-present bag of frozen sausage links. Microwaved those babies just long enough to thaw them and chopped them up. Voila, hearty soup. Looking around the fridge, I discovered some shitake mushrooms I bought the other day but didn't use. Excellent. Slice them up and throw them into a frying pan. With some onion powder and a lil bit of butter. Once the mushrooms were a bit limp, I threw the sausage in with them to heat them up and consolidate the flavor. Using a rubber spatula, I scrape the whole sausage and mushroom coterie into the pot of soup. Voila, flavorful soup.

Seeing as dinner was such an easy affair, I decide to make something else I hadn't for a while: sesame noodles. Sesame noodles is a big favorite snack food of second son; it basically kept him alive when I gave birth to third son and his father was apparently glued to cable TV (I know this because when I finally got home, I discovered the remnants of sesame noodles all over the apartment but after having had a 12" opening in my abdomen that was healing, I didn't have the wherewithal to clean up all the noodles for a while)
Anyway, making sesame noodles is easy; it's not even a recipe. You boil somen noodles according to the package directions, then drain and cool them, then use salt and toasted sesame oil on them. The "trick" to it is the ingrediants: you HAVE to use SOMEN noodles (found in the "ethnic" section of the grocery store) and you HAVE to use Kadoya toasted sesame oil (also in "ethnic" food section). Other noodles just won't taste the same. Kadoya makes a dark rich toasted sesame oil that no other brand can match. You pour just enough oil over the noodles to coat them, add salt to taste and put it in the fridge. They are delicious. NOt only delicious, but it's a taste that creeps up on you. Your first bite you'll be thinking "what in hell is she talking about? This hardly tastes like anything!" but take a few more bites.... I guarantee you'll get addicted (or you'll hate them)

So, we had soup and noodles for that dinner.

Well, next night, I'm making dinner again and I'm not really wanting to go to the grocery store, so I look in the fridge to see what I can throw together with the chicken I've already thawed out. Well, hey, looka that: there's still some soup left and the noodles have barely been touched.
Hmm....
So I cut up the chicken breasts, fry them up in a little oil, toss in some thyme and salt until just barely cooked. Then I throw in 3/4 of the leftover soup and let it simmer. With the other 1/4 of the soup, I added about three tablespoons (half a handful) of flour and mixed it well. This is what we call "base". Cook it a little bit and it's called "roux". I stirred the base into the chicken mess and simmer until thickened. Voila, chicken... uh... "creamy stuff"
Served over sesame noodles - excellent stuff.

Teared up in doctor's office... because "Little Drummer Boy" was fucking playing on the system. Geebus.

When I was a girl, I wished I was a boy.
I couldn't say why, just something I knew...
I knew that boys were faster, rougher, louder. Boys were everything I wanted to be. Boys could climb trees and no one worried about their clothes. Boys could play War and no one told them to mind their hair. Boys were supposed to be rude and obnoxious, brash and brave, cool and cunning, everything I wasn't expected to be.
I was told many times I could be who I wanted, do what I liked, be anything I wanted to be. But I knew it was a lie.
I was a girl. Girls were supposed to be pretty, sweet, quiet and nice. Everything that was hard for me.
Boys were supposed to play games; swing a bat, throw a ball, run all day, hide and sneak.
Girls were supposed to stay put; play "house", draw pictures, talk all day, smile and giggle.
I wanted to be me; running and talking, throwing and pretending, imagining and laughing.
Being free to play any way I wanted, whenever I wanted, no matter who was around.
But I knew that was "wrong". Because so long as I ran and yelled, bossed and talked, pretended and threw balls, I was hearing the question behind me from somewhere, someone...
"why are you like that? is there something wrong with you?"

No matter how many grown-ups told me to be myself, I could never miss the one grown-up standing silently by, frowning at me - the weird little girl who wouldn't "play nice".

They told me I would grow up to be a woman and there is greatness in women, but I was not fooled. Men were tall, had muscles, wore clothes that got dirty, fixed cars, gave orders, moved mountains and took charge of their families. Men played with their children and made noise, threw them on the couch, teased them, ran with them, got dirty with them.

Women were quiet and took care of their kids. Women told their kids what to do when the kids didn't want to do it. Women kept everyone clean and polite and boring.

Even in the light of feminism and equality, I could see the truth. Men were exciting, women were dull.

I didn't want to grow up to be that; clean and neat, polite and nice.
HOw could I command a pirate ship if I was worried about my hair? How could I learn the arts of Ninja and save the people from evil while minding my manners? How could I fly in a rocket ship to the moon if I couldn't go anywhere without my toothfloss? How was I ever going to be president if I couldn't get mad and bark out orders?
No matter how many women told me I could be president, I knew they were lying. Because I am a woman and I must keep my house clean, my kids polite, my schedule in order, my hands to myself.

I wanted to be a boy because boys grow into men and men were allowed to go outside. Men changed the world, while women cleaned it up.

Now I am a woman and everything is different. Everything except... the same things I saw when I was a girl.
Little girls still wear ribbons in their perfect little hair and get in trouble for messing it up. Little girls still get punished for being too bossy. Little girls still get evening dresses for playing dress-up instead of pirate swords. Little girls still learn to change a diaper before they are six. Little girls still get ignored and sneered at when they ask for help in math class. Little girls still receive barbie dolls for christmas without a rocket ship for her to fly.

When I talk to little girls now, I want to tell them the things that someone should have told me:
"You can act like a man and you will still be a woman. You can go out and get dirty, mess up your clothes, boss people around, take chances, discover new things and take charge of your life.

I want to tell them "you can be a woman and make mistakes and laugh at anyone who tells you it's wrong. People will look at you funny and ask you why you are like that, but you just tell them this:

You can be a woman and still change the world."