The ultimate sifting formula
After pouring through reams of data I finally understand how the Sift works. Both perturbation methods and quantum loop gravity failed to reproduce the complexity, so in desperation I resorted to empirical methods. I was able to reproduce the Sifting action to eight decimal places (Friday afternoons notwithstanding). I give you the formula:
I think you'll agree that it's a thing of beauty. I welcome any and all tests of its validity.
Odds of being sifted = [(Catchiness of title) * (Quality of video) * (Number of requeues +1)^0.5 - (Number of people who don't "get it") - (Ant Irritation factor) + (Did dystopianfuturetoday fall off his chair laughing and knock himself unconscious?)] / 10
I think you'll agree that it's a thing of beauty. I welcome any and all tests of its validity.
8 Comments
MarineGunrockLawl.
darkrowanAnt Irritation Factor... sounds like an odd pesticide
my15minutesno choggie factor?
<3
what about Schroedinger's lolcat, and the 'damage inlicted' theorem?
and work in a subroutine, wherein you determine whether or not issy allows dft to fall.
fissionchipsThe choggie factor is like the ether. You can't measure it, but neither can you shake the feeling that it pervades the whole of the Sift.
Subroutines were out of the question because I have it on good authority that FSM designed the universe to be closed-form.
Arsenault185You forgot to take into account the tons-of-different-people-have-tons-of-different-views algorithm.
jonnyand you forgot the "how-many-starred-users-you've-pissed-off-this-week" term.
MINKchance of being sifted = random number - how many starred users you've pissed off this week, plus lamda, where lamda equals (the number of times a cat vocalises in your clip / 10)
there ya go, simplified that for ya.
winkler1Thumbnail image is a factor too. A compelling image grabs the eye.
Ant is more of a contrarian indicator - I've come to regard his downvotes as a seal of approval.
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