Tags for this video have been changed from 'shopping, cart, slinky, big, mistake, employee, of, the, month' to 'shopping, cart, slinky, big, mistake, employee, of, the, month, target, fail' - edited by deedub81

Favourites

1) Season - Fall just as it changes from Summer.
2) Place in the world - On the sea.
3) Children's book - There's a monster at the End of this Book
4) TV Series - Too quickly this changes. Nothing right now.
5) Word - Pilobolus
6) Film - Wow. Don't know. So many good ones.
7) Curse - The curse of the... cat fart?
Creature - That one from the black lagoon.
9) Past time - Drinking and fighting and raping.
10)Person - Magnum PI. His mustache is divine.

Which one?

11) Dog or cat - both
12) Sweet or savoury - savory
13) Cereal or Toast - toast
14) Tan or pale - tan
15) Shoes or barefoot - shoes
16) Desktop or laptop - laptop
17) Drive or walk - walk
18) Drama or comedy - both
19) Sex or food - sex with food
20) Futurama or Simpsons - Simpsons. That's not even a contest.

The Sift

21) Your fave personal submission - The Official VideoSift Video
22) A great comment on one of your vids - I like being called a "boundary pusher".
23) Most off the wall member - Choggie.
24) Favourite user name - fissionchips.
25) Your most used channel - Comedy.
26) Personal dumbass moment - befriending Kronos. Kidding, KP!
27) Best avatar - Kubrick wins every time.
28) Partner in crime - Yes please.
29) Do people offline know of your sift problem - Yes.
30) Idea for the site - More cow bell.

About you

31) Where do you live - Los Angeles, CA
32) Smoker/non-smoker - a born again non-smoker
33) Left or right handed - right handed, but ambidextrous when I pleasure myself.
34) Hair colour - speak American, will you. There is no "u" in color! Brown.
35) Relationship status - In a relationship
36) How tall - A mind boggling 5'11''
37) Children - no thank you
38) Ever had an operation - yep, just recently on my hand (see question 33 above)
39) Best feature - my testicles
40) Use four words to describe yourself - fart. heart. shopping cart.

If you could...what, who, when etc

41) Bring a famous person back from the dead - Thomas Jefferson.
42) Give 50 grand to any charity - AIDS and cancer research
43) Send someone on a one way ticket to the moon - Bush
44) Relive a moment in your life - My childhood in the late 70s/early 80s
45) Have a superpower - Being daft.
46) Find out one thing you've always wanted to know - What happened before the big bang
47) Have the opposite gender deal with something you have to - The bias in family law courts.
48) Be president for one hour - Okay, sure.
49) Delete a period in history - The one at the end of this sentence.
50) Achieve one thing - A steady career in filmmaking

Man i wanted to post this, the original shopping cart song.

The most I ever give to beggars is a promote, but that's just here on the Sift. In the real world, I never give no more than a bag of food to solicitors. (Give a beggar a fish and he can eat for a day, give him cash and he'll get high for a lifetime. Or something.)

There is, however, a fellow I've seen for more than a decade living around the same few blocks, and I have seen him countless times eating at McDonald's, sitting on a bus stop, or pushing his shopping cart down the sidewalk, but not once ever begging for a handout. To him I've given cash several times.

One time I came upon him at a bus stop and he was watching a handheld portable TV. I wonder who gave that to him.

From the Gizmo Garden website:

"Carlos was a college kinetic sculpture project. I was interested in the concept of automating aspects of society that were considered not so "glamorous". Robotics are often used in environments which are considered dangerous to humans. Deep sea exploration, nuclear cleanup and volcanism are some of the "higher profile" adverse environments which robots are used. My question was, "What about other dangerous or hazardous areas?". For example, homeless people live in extremely dangerous environments. Shouldn't there be automated equipment used by this strata of society? So, for this project I chose to implement an automated walking, homeless shopping cart. I imagine now, to carry this project to completion I should have given the controls to someone who was actually living on the streets near the university. There was a large homeless population near the campus, and there would have been plenty of opportunity. Unfortunately, I had to disassemble the project for parts before this happened."

I "graded" your quiz

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint - That figures
• Watch DVDs - Wow you don't leave the house?
• Attend movies - By yourself most likely
• Work Sudoku puzzles - Afraid of real math?
• Get together with friends - Free meals at the soup kitchen don't count as "get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants - Translation: Dig in the dumpsters behind restaurants
• Attend art presentations - Staring at the back tattoo of a tranny prostitute hardly counts as "attending art presentations"
• Attend Mac meetings - ...
• Visit art museums/exhibitions - You already said that, but then again you probably don't have much going on in your life
• Take digital photos and videos - Draw "cave paintings" on the walls of the overpass you live under.
• Attend parties/receptions - Always the crasher never the invitee?
• Read books on art - Read...books...on...art. hmmm...fascinating

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage” - you spelled "MANspooge" wrong

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)
^Just can't quite encapsulate your mediocrity through visual aids, eh?

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers - To look at coming attractions nobody will ever invite you to see

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!? - You know, clean like how you feel after your bimonthly dip in the sewers

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21 - Make that 1/2 : 1

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers - Women's panties

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS - Coincidently Mac & Cheese is your main source of nutrition too

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data - Pretending to have a girlfriend while dry humping his semen encrusted matress

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup - By the time you get to the ice cream, it's already melted
Spice - saffron - Dried eucalyptus leaves

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes - Translation: "I'm desparate"

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby) - killed and ate it
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm) - Road kill that you found and dragged around on a leash for the summer of '91
Pierre (peppered fur mix) - Make believe animal that keeps me company during those lonely nights

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under. - Hahahaha! girlfriend...that's rich

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry - Whatever's being served at the shelter

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio - 2 week old newspapers that you use to wipe your ass

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea - "...you know how I know you're gay?"

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No. - The Phantom Pooper still hasn't been caught

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head. - Try not to get close enough to the person to be smelled

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning - HAHAHAHAHA

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard - Translation: I can't afford a razor

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House - Cardboard box
• Volvo - Shopping Cart
• Mac - & Cheese
• Camera - Old crayon or feces drawn on walls and sidewalks
• DVD player - "I can't play it, cause I don't have a TV but it sure is pretty and it'll score me a couple crack rocks"

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism - suppressed memories

23. What about now?

Same. - Translation: I do to little boys what was done to me

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS - Finding a quarter on the ground

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer” - It was really "My Little Pony"

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do - Translation: I fart wherever I am
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black - "OH, woe is me I'm such a DEEP artist type"
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing - Translation: Sit in an alcove yelling at people who don't give me spare change
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention - Translation: Crap nobody will like and stealing other people's work

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate. - No transportation, no friends, no car, no water, you're missing a shoe

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip - Translation: Rottenseed

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly. - "uh...er...well you see is, I'm horribly disfigured and I hope everybody will forget about this question"

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.” - Find somebody that'll love me for the stinky, poor, pseudo-artist I am

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD. - "I can't read."

I would rather have this than a tent, for the same reason that homeless people use shopping carts.

/\ The shopping cart reminds me of Radiohead's Green Plastic Trees viddy.

/\BRM, This song is about as human as they come. Maybe a bit too human. I'm challenging the notion that the humanitarian sift must be limited to speeches and documentaries (and from the look of the Humanitarian page it looks like MLX is in agreement.)

The shopping cart is over the top, but I really like the video.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'dance, moves, unconventional, light, bulb, shopping cart, tide pen' to 'white, guy, dance, moves, unconventional, light, bulb, shopping cart, tide pen' - edited by MarineGunrock

When I was in high school I worked at a pizza place, some wino came in and told me to empty the register and put all the money is his hat. Said he had a gun that he could go outside to get to if I didn't comply. I told him the cops were on there way and would be there in 30 seconds. Then he said "Your a little shit!" And I started counting. "10...9...8.." And he stumbled out of there so quick you could see the tire marks from his shopping cart.

Please, it's just one video. I'm not impressed with any old idiots crashing shopping carts or faceplanting, and I especially will downvote any generic Break vid of losers getting paid 400 bucks to make asses out of themselves. But this vid had me cringing the whole time.

And if they were stupid enough to jump, then they're stupid enough to upload the video. I bet they showed it to all their friend going, "Look at us!"

Cool, where's the shopping cart?

Definitely a classic:

"You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip...

Because the revolution will not be televised...

The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal...
There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts...

There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay...with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the proper occasion...

The revolution will not be right back after a message
About a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolutions will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver's seat.


The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live."

Well, he's in the "chromo-zone" on this one. "Care Failure" is that girls name --- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Dirty_Band

"Bubbles is played by Mike Smith (formerly of the rock band Sandbox). He sports coke bottle glasses and a perpetual Down Syndrome-esque visage, repairs shopping carts for a living and loves his kitties."