I'm tall, but not extreme percentile tall -- about 6'2". When I fly, some fat (like, really fat) person overflowing into my seat is *way* down on my concerns list, which goes a little something like this:

1. Some inconsiderate bastard in the seat in front of me decides that they will be a little more comfortable by reclining their headrest to a position about 3 inches in front of my nose, which leaves me short on breathing room AND legroom. Reclining my own seat relieves the breathing room issue but does so at the expense of the person behind me (which I hate to do), and the lack of leg/knee room remains.

2. Some old woman or young guy decides that riding in a cramped cattle car is the perfect time to wear a full gallon of perfume/cologne. I'm pretty highly anti-'fragrances' in general, and any prolonged exposure to even light applications of perfume or cologne tend to give me a headache. So, being inches away from someone that smells like they bathe in the shit puts me into a "HULK SMASH!" mood pretty quick.

3. Screaming baby. I understand that it can't be avoided sometimes. I know that pressure changes in the cabin affect younger kids eardrums and sinuses in ways that can be painful -- I used to have the same problem. But the parents that immediately give it up as a lost cause and give you dirty looks like "yeah, I know my kid is producing more decibels of sound than the jet engine outside, but I'm not even going to make an effort to try to calm them down" bother me.

...

4,016. Being seated next to a bloated sack of protoplasm.

In reply to this comment by rasch187:
that was bloody brilliant! *nochannel *80s *british *music *livemusic *rocknroll and *promote


glad you liked my friend and thanks for the promote.its funny,i still have this cassette "about face".this song was by far my fave.you check out the new selon recliners vid i posted? they have improved dramatically.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'recliners, ugly, new zealand, trip hop, ambient, indie rock' to 'selon recliner, ugly, new zealand, trip hop, ambient, indie rock, row, fight, kiss' - edited by Eklek

the reclining pedal bikes seem lot more.. uh.. comfortable?

looks like all he can stand is a small pedal before his back acts up D and that's in addition to traveling blind...

WTF?? /boggle

You sir, should be able to sit back in a recliner everyday of your life with a satisfied grin on your face, as if you are receiving a perpetual blowjob, for your accomplishments here.

The Onion

OPINION
This New Toilet Paper Is So Soft And Absorbent!

By Ted Roman
Amazed Customer
May 3, 2000 | Issue 36•16

You probably won't believe me when I tell you that new Cushy™-brand bathroom tissue is the softest, most absorbent bathroom tissue you'll ever try. Heck, I was skeptical at first, too! Even after learning about Cushy's™ specially quilted "Moistu-Weave" inlay, I still thought, "Come on! How much better could one bathroom tissue be than another?" But once you've felt for yourself the heavenly sensation of a folded-up wad of Cushy™ sliding across your excrement-smeared anus, you're sure to agree: Cushy™ is the most luxurious tissue you'll ever wipe your ass with!

Wow! When it comes to getting your rectal opening clean as a whistle, removing every last trace of stinking, disgusting fecal matter from the puckered surface of the human anus, Cushy™ just can't be beat! Its patented, three-ply "Feces-Grabbing Action" has been specially designed by scientists to wipe away 30 percent more human dung from the anal region than the leading brand–even in those problem "hairy" areas where tiny balls of shit can get trapped for days! When it comes to making sure my asshole's been wiped right, I trust Cushy™. As the commercial says, "With Cushy™, I Know My Ass Is Clean!®"

And Cushy™ is more than just the most absorbent product ever designed, manufactured, and marketed for the purpose of wiping human waste from the rectal region; it's also the softest. I can't believe how good it feels pressed up against my asshole! Sure, I thought the leading brand was good, but after trying Cushy™, I could scarcely believe the difference! Compared to the sumptuous comfort of Cushy™, the leading brand feels like a portable electric belt-sander grinding my ass down to a chafed and bloody pulp! Wiping with Cushy™, on the other hand, feels as if the defecation residue between my legs is being spirited away on the back of a pillowy-soft cartoon cloud! It's enough to make a person open up a window and shout to the world, "Shit, I Love This Ass-Paper!®"

Cushy™ goes the extra mile to make sure my anus feels pampered like a dainty princess. That's because Cushy™'s not just about getting your ass free of shit particles. It's about treating your entire backside to a feeling of cushiony goodness. It's what the good folks at Global Tetrahedron Forestries, manufacturers of Cushy™, like to call "T.A.C."–Total Asshole Comfort.™ Doesn't your asshole deserve a little T.A.C.?

Your anal region, from your ass cheeks to your dilated sphincter to the interior of your anal column itself, works hard for you each day. Isn't it time you gave a little something back? With Cushy™, my asshole feels as if it's being gently wafted skyward on a freshly scented summer breeze! Try getting that level of comfort from those bargain brands!

Do the other brands offer patented three-ply quilted comfort? Are they lightly perfumed and softened with soothing aloe-based moisturizing lotions? Do they offer Cushy™'s exclusive "Complete Asshole Guarantee®"? Of course not. Whether you've got a thin, runny liquid, a huge, bulky chunk, or even one of those hard-to-wipe, viscous-sludge-type defecations, Cushy™ not only has the absorbency needed to wipe your ass completely free of sticky, after-shit smears and stains; it's gentle enough to make your puckered butthole feel like the King of Siam, reclining on a mound of the finest silk pillows in all of Asia.

Sure, Cushy™ costs a bit more than less ass-pampering brands, but my ass is worth it! Cushy™ is so soft, sometimes I want to take a shit even when I don't have to! Once you've seen for yourself how wonderful, how majestic, how truly awe-inspiring this new bathroom tissue is, you'll know why people say, "Cushy™... You're Gonna Shit Your Pants!©"

I like that dag. In fact, this whole thing isn't really that big of a deal to us, but it's hard not to think about one's mother when she's 90.
I believe the essential problem in this case is just the tremendous difference in worlds/realities. There are people who live and breathe by what everyone else thinks of them and what they're "supposed" to do, and there are those who don't.
Someone who keeps their house dust-free, lacy, watches soaps, and is involved in Eastern Star...doesn't understand our world at all. So it is uncomfortable for them when they visit because we have an unconventional house (by that I mean no sofa/loveseat/recliner configuration, no commercial tv, etc.) and I'm not vacumming in pearls and high heels.
When we visit them, we can slip into their reality and it's ok, but they visit to save on hotel bills when they go to meetings around here and that's when it gets ugly...they had been trying, though. That's what made it do-able for me. This one was the last straw, though.
I think I was feeling slightly guilty for not handling it differently. I think I'm over it now, though.

Just bring a MP3 player, close your eyes, recline your seat and focus on listening to the music. That's the best way I know to relax.

Also, watch this video and this video. If all these airplanes make it without anything happening to them, what is the chance of something happening in your flights?

- Pick a middle seat.
Nothing will take your mind off of troubling engine noises and vibrations like being crammed next to some fat guy who's side fat is engulfing the arm rest.

- Choose your seat in the row in front of the exit row.
Clearly you are not brave enough to be seated in the exit row, but maybe you might want to be nearby. Nah, I'm just kidding, these seats do no recline and will make it very uncomfortable and even hard to sleep, but the idea is keeping your mind off of gremlins on the wings, right?

- Piss off the stewardess.
Ask for special things, like a whole can of coke and TWO glasses with ice. Or, every time they pass by make sure you get their attention and ask them things like, how much longer, and is it ok to use the restroom now? They will know that you are an expert traveler and treat you with extra attention and maybe even perks.

- Listen to advice from the internet, especially those who suggest taking large amounts of drugs.
Nothing makes a trip more pleasant and there is no better way to make friends then holding up a whole plane full of passengers because some "nervous nelly" took a shit-ton of xanax and now everyone has to wait as medics come down to look at the passed out idiot that cannot be roused. Nothing like missing your connecting flight because of a sweating-passed-out-drooler.

- Sit in the back of the plane.
Seriously, nothing will take your mind off of flying like the portapotty smell as the same old fucker gets up 10 minutes into the flight to befoul the restroom. Why they can't do it at the end of the flight or in the concourse ahead of time is one of the grand mysteries, but the unique blend of fragrances that is old people, colostomy bag, chemical toilet and baby diapers should keep your mind off of whatever you were worried about. Trust me you won't care when the plane drops 50 feet as it hits a thermal when it brings you a few seconds where you remember back and fear made it so you didn't smell anything. For those lovely brief moments.

- How about you try something simple.
Flying is 1000x safer then sitting in the passenger seat of a car. So just suck it up and bring a magazine or a skinmag and put on some headphones and just pretend you are in a doctor's waiting room. Oh, maybe a dentist's office. And really there is only about 30 seconds at take off that you should be bothered by, and you probably won't notice the landing until it is "all better". The stuff in the middle is really the safest part of the flight.


Cars are soooooo fucking dangerous, so just tell yourself that you don't envision the very likely bone shattering accident everytime you buckle up. So if you are dumb enough to drive down the road ignoring cars, eating fast food, talking on your cell phone, or putting on lipstick, then clearly you are ready for flying. If none of that scares the shit out of you, it probably should, or at least don't start to care about your safety and livelihood now.

I like trains, there ought to be more of those. You can get a sleeping *room* with a couch, a recliner a private bathroom with shower for about $300 if you plan ahead (2 people).

Frankly, I'd take the train even if it takes 12 hours longer. I'll be asleep or lounging around naked with my girlfriend reading the paper or playing computer game.

With your wealth of music info, you're probably aware, but kd lang, early in her career thought she was channeling Patsy. Thus, kd lang and the "reclines", her early band.

In reply to this comment by Farhad2000:
Patsy Cline (b. Virginia Patterson Hensley September 8, 1932 – March 5, 1963) was an American country music singer, who enjoyed pop music crossover success during the era of the Nashville Sound in the early 1960s. Since her death at the age of 30 in a 1963 plane crash at the height of her career, she has been considered one of the most influential, successful, revered, and acclaimed female vocalists of the 20th century. Her life and career has been the subject of numerous books, movies, documentaries, articles, and stage plays.

Cline was best known for her rich tone and emotionally expressive voice, which, along with her role as a mover and shaker in the country music industry, has been cited and praised as an inspiration by many vocalists of various music genres.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patsy_Cline

i've broken many-a-recliners due to my exploits. My advice, stay off the furniture, unless it's not yours. Stick to desks, beds, counters, etc. (and dark alleyways if you're kronos).

Reshoot it with a cat playing the drums and Ron Paul chilling on the recliner and you'll nail 300 votes.

lol buzz

in a lot of ways you're right mink.. if i had infinite money, i could give away infinity-x money without losing too much sleep.. great, he did it, but i don't give out brownie points for someone doing something that i consider bog standard humanity.. good job, you're human, no cookie though

seriously.. he's gonna go home, sip on some martini type drink that probably costs 80 dollars to make.. made by a professional who is payed 80 dollars an hour to mix martinis.. slouch back in his leather recliner that cost about 5 thousand, or take a shower in his multi-jet-pwn-shower-system.. take a swim in his pool, go for a fly in his jet, do what-the-fuck-ever he wants to do, anytime, all the time..

then he'll write a cheque for a charity for 700 million dollars... fuck it, who cares? he can still afford to refuel his jet

get off the charity thing, in his situation it's either give something he won't miss and not look like an asshole, or keep something he doesn't need and look like an asshole

Think the Lyrics might be in order, whilst ya listen', very funny-
*********************************************************************

Barely runnin and rippin, but still I'm flippin on Vogues
Hoes be trippin on Devin, Devin don't be trippin on hoes
They be talking bout oh would you look at that nigga
With no inspection sticker
Drankin liquor
Smokin swisha
And I go about 47 in a 55
Fuel injected, niggas be honkin but fuck it my shit is fine
I've payed for it about 9 times, different mechanics
Too much of a job, some say they just couldn't handle it
I need some shocks on the back, I need some works on the brakes
My passenger side window sometimes it just don't wanna raise
I hear bumps and crunks, pings and ticks and things
I got a hole in my muffler and other minor things
Like my electrical rear view mirror don't move like it 'posed ta
Even the objects in that mothafucka need to be closer
I'm satisfied with my ride I don't ask much
But people talk and they diss, they heckle it loud
But

[Chorus]
I'm rollin
Car not stolen
Probably never will be it's much to old and
Smokin weed and feelin fine
In my Lacville 79
I'm rollin
Gas runnin low
But I try to keep it white and Vogue's like foldin
Hopin freaks will get inside of my Lacville 79

I got my toolbox, got my booster cables, and jack
I get where I'm goin, two quarts of oil will get me back
I got a brand new radiator
Rebuilt alternator
Detatchable tape player
But I gotta fix the fader
So I can have some music on the 6-10 loop
Maybe fit in with the L-Dogs, sedans, and coupes
Need to watch out for them laws cuz you know they gon watch ya
With their radar gun, look like they shootin as they clock ya
And the whole force know me
For years they been scopin
They walk up to my car and be like "hello Mr Copeland"
"Gimme some of that weed you got" sometimes they don't ask for it
They know where I keep it, they reach right under my dashboard
And that really blows my high but hell I gotta keep pushin
Before I go home with the nut off of my seat cushion
I went looking for a trade-in but they called my shit a bucket
Got back in that hoe, and cranked it up and said fuck it

[Chorus]

I got my hudcaps shinin
(I'm) in that bitch reclining
The engine shakes a little cuz I gotta change the timin
And if you see me walkin (I'm) givin it a rest
She needs some new shoes, and getting fitted for a dress
You know I love my baby hell I call my baby Pearly
She got mad at me this morning, woke her up too early
Just to go across town over on Chimney Rock
Had to pick up a bitch who wanted to give me the cock
I got over there real cool and picked her up all good
But half way to the hotel smoke start coming up from the hood
Me and the bitch had to push and she didn't even get mad at me
Figured out the problem made her go steal me a battery
Not lavishly

Chorus X2