Code Monkey get up get coffee
Code Monkey go to job
Code Monkey have boring meeting
With boring manager Rob
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
But his output stink
His code not "functional" or "elegant"
What do Code Monkey think?
Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write god damned login page himself
Code Monkey not say it out loud
Code Monkey not crazy, just proud

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart:
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you

Code Monkey hang around at front desk
Tell you sweater look nice
Code Monkey offer buy you soda
Bring you cup, bring you ice
You say no thank you for the soda cause
Soda make you fat
Anyway you busy with the telephone
No time for chat
Code Monkey have long walk back to cubicle he sit down pretend to work
Code Monkey not thinking so straight
Code Monkey not feeling so great

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart:
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you a lot

Code Monkey have every reason
To get out this place
Code Monkey just keep on working
See your soft pretty face
Much rather wake up, eat a coffee cake
Take bath, take nap
This job "fulfilling in creative way"
Such a load of crap
Code Monkey think someday he have everything even pretty girl like you
Code Monkey just waiting for now
Code Monkey say someday, somehow

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart:
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you

Lyrics -

Verse 1

Blowin something sticky word to pre-cum dicks
Im wit ma team in this bitch, and we all getting lit
I mean the weed hella loud, like a teenage chick
And we been smoking for a minute, yeah we blowin on that ganja

And now I'm huffin and puffin, I'm choking on that bong
And the dope im on is bomb I'm smoking that Vietcong

Getting real high
Watching funny videos of bill nye
Tell me that this jam isn't still fly --

Bill nye theme song

now im getting hungry than a muthafucka
put some chicken nuggets in the oven at 400
whered I put that honey mustard
lookin all around the cupboard for that muthafucka
until I discovered a custard, I covered wit butter from last week.

How long do them thangs keep?
Guess I better ask jeeves
go get ma computer but im staring at the damn screen

Damn D, you forgetting what ya task be
The puff puff pass, gotcha gassed
Now ya man is fucked...

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

Verse 2

now im freakin out up in this bitch
cant control it and ma homies passin round another spliff
so I bolted to the BR
Consulted with the mirror

Lil Dicky please step up, you pathetic
Cuz the weed in you beating you
then all a sudden im on the toilet beating ma penis blue
but I aint cummin because as im imagining fucking something

that pretty girl im humping
becoming my fuckin cousin, or mother or brother
or some other fucking disgusting person

ma brain is bein strange, cuz im high as a plane
I aint deranged, im just saying it's a violent strain
So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars
Dipping snacks, kicking back, staring at some Avatars

Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit
Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script

How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a
Blueish green 7' 3'' tail having ass thing
Man im high as fuckkkk

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

verse 3

rock hard cock, cuz im watching katy perry
in her video the whole world's made of candy

damn...I aint even got no candy
so now at the fucking c store

where ya man be torn than a mafucka
peanut eminems or a twix
cant commit, so I count the benefits on ma hands

goddamn now im weary of the man -- yeah the cashier
homeland, Nazir!

s-s-s-so damn tweaked I cant even cross the mothafuckin street
gotta wait until that muthafucka's green

now im back up at the crib, and im laughin at giraffes long necks
gotta shit, but the path to the bathroom is complex
crafted a long text, took about an hour
took a scary shower, now im sitting naked on the ground

man im fucked up. I'm bout to call ma mom up and tell her what's up.
This sucks im high as fuck.

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

outtro

And how did Breitbart respond?

By attacking the messenger

So there are so many things wrong with those fucking nazi assholes stupid argument, I don't know where to start.

Let's see:
sexism? check! She's just a pretty girl....
Ad hominem? check!
Being completely wrong about climate change? check!

oh and my favourite part... they attempted to coin a new logical fallacy... in their words "argumentum ad puellam pulchram. (aka the Argument from a Pretty Girl)".

Except the fucking morons can't even get the latin right.

"Argumentum ad" is arguing TO not FROM, i.e. they are attacking a "pretty girl", not being attacked by.

They inadvertently exposed their own fallacy while trying to make up a new one.

Morons....

I liked the idea...but the pretty girls compliment being branded harassment was on the wrong side of justice.

I agree the guys wagging their dick at them deserve it but come on people. How are men supposed to compliment them if 'pretty girls' is offensive.

Let's not pretend that there was a single moment of actual harassment recorded in this video.

"I was admiring the pretty girls!" - OH MY GOD!! HARASSMENT!!! (and this was the best case of "harassment" they managed to capture in this video!)

Good idea, poorly executed by morons feminist-wannabes who wanted to show off their "amazing" idea.

Congratulations! Your video, Mesmerizly pretty girl explains what not to do in Japan, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 4 Badge!

Your video, Mesmerizly pretty girl explains what not to do in Japan, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

A little history can go a long way. They were in the fight by choice 3 years before we were dragged into action, and over 15% of their nation enlisted, over 10% of their nation fought overseas, a higher percentage than the US for much longer. We hardly protected them from the Japanese, they protected and hosted US.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_New_Zealand_during_World_War_II
When Japan entered the war in December 1941, the New Zealand Government raised another expeditionary force, known as the 2nd N.Z.E.F. In the Pacific, or 2nd N.Z.E.F. (I.P.), for service with the Allied Pacific Ocean Areas command. This force supplemented existing garrison troops in the South Pacific. The main fighting formation of the 2nd N.Z.E.F. (I.P.) comprised the New Zealand 3rd Division. However, the 3rd Division never fought as a formation; its component brigades became involved in semi-independent actions as part of the Allied forces in the Solomons, Treasury Islands and Green Island.
Eventually, American formations replaced the New Zealand army units in the Pacific, which released personnel for service with the 2nd Division in Italy, or to cover shortages in the civilian labour-force. New Zealand Air Force squadrons and Navy units contributed to the Allied island-hopping campaign.

http://www.nzhistory.net.nz/war/us-forces-in-new-zealand
"The American soldier found himself ‘deep in the heart of the South Seas’, in the words of his army-issue pocket guide. He usually came here either before or immediately after experiencing the horror of war on a Pacific island, and he found a land of milk and honey (literally), of caring mothers and ‘pretty girls’."
"So the ‘American invasion’ (as New Zealanders affectionately called it) brought a considerable clash of cultures. "

Sorry to inconvenience your feelings and expressions of superiority with some facts.

*dupeof=http://videosift.com/video/I-thought-u-didnt-give-pretty-girls-tickets

This video has been nominated as a duplicate of this video by Sagemind. If this nomination is seconded with *isdupe, the video will be killed and its votes transferred to the original.

Is it harassment if the pretty girl on the bus catches you staring at her reflection in the window, like, 3 times in a row?

The most awkward interaction with women is at night, when they are walking alone in the dark, and you are behind them and they can see your shadow from the street lights and your footsteps getting nearer. I can't slow down and just keep distance because then I am a stalker. I can't speed up because then I am chasing her. So now I am trying to do all the things I think a rapist wouldn't do, which is exactly how I imagine a rapist would think, so I try to stop thinking like that. Tension mounts until I am within striking distance, when she takes a quick glance over my shoulder and sees my grimace (a poor attempt to produce a friendly smile), and accelerates to the maximum possible walking pace without offending british insensibilities. Her max is my medium, so we continue onwards into the darkness in silence, a couple of feet apart, air full of tension, neither willing to deescalate by crossing the road. Awkward. But maybe that's just me.

Unwanted attention is pretty uncomfortable. To me, harassment suggests sustained unwanted attention. I guess the problem is for the guy it's not sustained, but for the woman it is. If she is getting it from every corner, then the net result is harassment. Catcalling is just plain rude and disrespectful tho, no excuse for that.

I can't imagine it ever happening in New York to me but it's happened in Seattle. Various people and I think it's because I look grumpy most of the time. Even if it's someone saying hi that I know I usually don't like to be interrupted from my thoughts or my walk.

Let's take this in a small village vs big city aspect. Live in a small town where tons of people know eachother, I'll bet the Hi's and the Return Hi's are more frequent and it's a generally nicer atmosphere. Same with say if this person saw someone that she's seen everyday on her own street in New York. Big giant city, you're more on guard you're looking out for yourself or you have a task you need to complete. The person who is genuinely just being nice, might be from the area and very familiar with that street and everyone on it. This new person walks in and they want to be friendly. Doesn't always seem that way because it's a big city and that person could be from anywhere.

I don't know what people should do differently except that understand when a pretty girl smiles at you or says hi it's usually politeness. There's nothing wrong with starting with being polite, just be polite back and not too forward.

oh and *NSFW = pretty girl profanity

That's what I meant by the fake sentiment. It's pretending to be so deep and mature but as you say, it's just someone who's attracted to a pretty girl. And, despite pretending otherwise, this jackass is definitely judging the others on their shallow choice.

Even if you take it as bad casting or the clumsy metaphor I mentioned, he's absolutely not unique at all. Any relationship beyond one with the girl in the porno video you're watching involves more than just appearances and involves personality compatibility. Guys don't talk about this at the pub because it's weird; shallowness is, to some extent, expected. It's not a heart-to-heart discussion.

Perhaps why that's weird would be a good subject for his next poetry. As it is, this is just "hey I'm not judging you cretins for being pathetically shallow, I'm just saying I'm so much better than you because I uniquely see beyond physical attributes and lack the social skills to realise that I'm not unique and I'm taking a pub conversation way too seriously and you guys are never inviting me out again are you?".

Bah. I'm actually annoyed now. Why has anyone upvoted this? I'm not judging you guys for being pathetically shallow, I'm just saying I'm so much better than you because I almost uniquely see beyond the smulch.

I was about to forward the initial story to you as it was released over at the Guardian, but since I've been barraging you with copious amounts of trivialities already, I dropped it.

Quite disturbing, isn't it? Even more so if you consider that we only heard about it in the first place because it "happened" to a pretty girl from Norway...