In June of '07, I went down to Ecuador to train at an archaeological field school. I was an Anthro minor and intended to pursue a career in Biological Anthropology, specializing in molecular clocking (deducing rates of evolution through DNA base pair variation), and wanted some kind of field experience before finishing undergrad. I just googled archae field schools and picked one. It was run by a university in Florida to which I had no connection whatsoever. It was run by two profs and had two separate classes: one in archaeology (digging) and one in ethnography (meeting people and writing about them). I ended up in the archaeological field school.

Upon arriving, I met the rest of the participants. Many of them knew each other, and I was somewhat of a novelty. The first night, I managed to take the smart but prudish girl back to my room for some "Hey, I just met you, why don't we fool around" action. Little did I know what I was getting into.

She turned out to be crazy. Like top-notch, grade A, never-been-kissed, "I'll give you $100 to take my virginity" crazy. It didn't take me long to make it clear that I was not that in need of cash, and that I was not falling in love. This did not go over well, and for the first two weeks of the six week program, I had to apologize to every fucking person in the camp for subjecting them to the tears of this crazy, immature, raving girl.

However, (this is where it gets interesting) during those first two weeks, I was spending all day in the field away from Crazy, who was studying ethnography in the coastal village where we were camped about 6km away. All day, I was troweling dirt and plotting pits next to one of the hottest and most engaged-to-be-married 20 year old girls I've ever met. At first, her neutrality as a "spoken for" woman was a good haven from the rest of the crowd, who were still kind of up-in-arms about my bagging and bouncing Ms. Crazy. And so, my pit partner and I got along swimmingly, spending the grueling but relieved-from-social-antagonism days talking about this and that. Now, I gotta tell ya, I'm a strapping lad (about 2m ((that's 6'6")) and 115kg ((250 lbs))) and I was very good at the field work. There is very little that impresses women, especially 20 year old engaged-to-be-married women, like being physically excellent at something right in front of them.

Around the end of week two, I started to notice that my pit partner and I were getting all electric and stuff around each other, making eyes and whispering sweet nothings as we toiled away in our dirt hole. Things got spicier and spicier, especially when I found out that the fiance was a wannabe prize fighter who couldn't hold a job, had cheated on her, and held his crotch rocket in about as much esteem as his wife-to-be (also, he bought her a $20k ring and made her mother make the payments on it). As I clearly could not give a flying cockroach's penis about this douche, I let myself really fall for this girl.

At the end of week three, we had four days off to travel wherever we chose. As I tend to be a loner if I don't find a very, very like-minded crony, I was planning to head south to Cuenca for a long weekend of solo traveling. But, as luck/fate/coincidence would have it, I met the soon-to-be-married lady and her traveling group at the bus stop just outside the village, also planning to go to Cuenca. Their group was minus a strong leader and without much Spanish, so I hooked up with them, "and it has made all the difference."

In Cuena, the girl and I fell in love. We didn't touch each other that weekend, but luck/fate/coincidence left us alone together too many times for there not to have been meaning in it. We talked by glowing midnight fountains, got lost on a house party dancefloor, drank too much shitty beer, and stared at the stars from the rooftop we had to crawl out a hotel window to sit on. Neither of us mentioned it out loud, but only used strong suggestion and innuendo. We both knew what was happening, but weren't sure if it was going to work. As I have failed to mention, but the astute reader might already suspect, my former liason Ms. Crazy considered herself to be Soon-to-Be-Married's best friend in Ecuador. She was right there in Cuenca with us the whole time, in complete denial of what was right in her face.

We returned from Cuenca on a Sunday, and I spent Monday and Tuesday white knuckled and sweating as I worked right next to a woman I could have ripped the perfect breast concealing oversized sweatshirt off and really gotten dirty. As she was engaged and about as virtuous as they come these days, no one suspected a thing. We were headed right straight towards Affair City on our pheromone and hormone fueled freight train, and no one else even had a whiff of it.

To this day, not one of the 20 or so other students has any idea that on that Tuesday after Cuenca, as we sat on the porch of my cabin--me playing guitar and her studying for the GRE--this girl and I began one of the world's greatest love affairs. That night, we finally put into words the feelings and fears, and each one assured the other that it would be safe as long as no one knew. At a peak moment in the conversation, I must have asked something like "Well, what's next, then?" The words she answered still echo in my mind whenever I have trouble sleeping. Sultry, slow and with head tilted, she said, "You wanna test the waters?" and glided across the porch and into my lightless room. I sat thinking Oh my god. She just fucking went into my cabin. Holy fuck, I'm gonna. Fuck. Shit. Wow. Wait a sec, she's in my cabin. STFU and get in there! She had to open the door to check if I was coming before the dazzle faded from my mind. I pushed her back into the darkness.

That was nearly two years ago now, and as I write, I am putting this princess to bed in our apartment in Taipei. We carried on an illicit affair, with trysts on 1 a.m. beaches, in shower stalls and in my Pacific breeze filled cabin for a month in Ecuador, and it has lasted to this day, across four continents and literally around the world. I have never written this story down before, and I just thank AC for giving me the forum.

Pictures, or it didn't happen.

And on the torrid love affair part, I have it on good authority that you're coming to Europe..

In reply to this comment by peggedbea:
wow, a torrid love affair sounds like a blast! unfortunately all my lady shaped love affair parts reside in a different continent.
however, i did let the hairdressers at my salon give me a white girl fro today and im super excited about it!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Hehe, good on ya. You should get your charter back, I got mine pretty fast.

I'm gonna be a bit harsher with my votes this time around; with a second chance, I can undo the folly of youth!

I'm still looking for someone to have a torrid love affair with, though. You game?

In reply to this comment by peggedbea:
im alive and kicking sir.
downvoting some crap for the crap that it is
and discovering some gems that were lost in the madness.
my charters gone now though, i dont know if it ran out or got lost
i think i still had a week or so left

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Hey bea, did you survive the siftocalypse?

wow, a torrid love affair sounds like a blast! unfortunately all my lady shaped love affair parts reside in a different continent.
however, i did let the hairdressers at my salon give me a white girl fro today and im super excited about it!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Hehe, good on ya. You should get your charter back, I got mine pretty fast.

I'm gonna be a bit harsher with my votes this time around; with a second chance, I can undo the folly of youth!

I'm still looking for someone to have a torrid love affair with, though. You game?

In reply to this comment by peggedbea:
im alive and kicking sir.
downvoting some crap for the crap that it is
and discovering some gems that were lost in the madness.
my charters gone now though, i dont know if it ran out or got lost
i think i still had a week or so left

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Hey bea, did you survive the siftocalypse?

Hehe, good on ya. You should get your charter back, I got mine pretty fast.

I'm gonna be a bit harsher with my votes this time around; with a second chance, I can undo the folly of youth!

I'm still looking for someone to have a torrid love affair with, though. You game?

In reply to this comment by peggedbea:
im alive and kicking sir.
downvoting some crap for the crap that it is
and discovering some gems that were lost in the madness.
my charters gone now though, i dont know if it ran out or got lost
i think i still had a week or so left

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Hey bea, did you survive the siftocalypse?

^ By the same logic, if taking away everyone's guns would save 100 lives, we should do it, right?

Take away everyone's cars, and it'd save thousands -- that too, right?

Freedom of speech too: let's censor all opinions to fit with that of the RNC, because we all know that dissent costs lives.

PS: QM, you still haven't proven that you're not embroiled in a steamy love affair with several men. Your refusal to release a report proving your innocence is obviously an admission of your hunger for gay sex.

Just change your name to queermushroom, and come all the way out of the closet already.

An overview of various clips ("categorized" by genre) from last year I liked because of the clip and the accompanying music:

Indie pop
http://www.videosift.com/video/Eccentric-night-out-Risn-Murphy-Movie-Star-2008

Indie rock
*http://www.videosift.com/video/MGMT-Electric-Feel-2008DancingDrinking-from-the-Moon
http://www.videosift.com/video/Fleet-Foxes-White-Winter-Hymnal
http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Notwist-Where-In-This-World-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/A-Picture-Of-Our-Torn-Up-Praise-2008-by-Phosphorescent

Electro
http://www.videosift.com/video/Le-le-Breakfast-video-by-Parra
http://www.videosift.com/video/Le-Le-Ich-Clacque-dich
http://www.videosift.com/video/Slagsm-lsklubben-Sponsored-By-Destiny
http://www.videosift.com/video/Dim-Chris-No-Sucker-Official-Tecktonik-anthem
http://www.videosift.com/video/Necro-Stallar-Only-Moon-2008

Disco
http://www.videosift.com/video/Hercules-Love-Affair-Time-Will-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Geneva-Jacuzzi-Love-Caboose-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Rubies-I-Feel-Electric-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Moby-Disco-Lies
http://www.videosift.com/video/Cutting-edge-monster-party-Denki-Groove-Mononoke-Dance

Hiphop/rnb
*http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Tongue-feat-Dudley-Perkins-Animal-Crackers
http://www.videosift.com/video/Rapping-former-warchild-Emmanuel-Jal-Warchild-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/T-Pain-Ft-Ludacris-Chopped-N-Skrewed-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Kanye-West-Love-Lockdown

Drum'n bass
*http://www.videosift.com/video/Pendulum-Propane-Nightmares-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Squarepusher-Planet-Gear-2008

Various electronica/rock
http://www.videosift.com/video/Bomb-the-Bass-Fuzzbox-2008
*http://www.videosift.com/video/Moby-feat-Aynzil-and-the-419-Squad-Alice-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Pivot-In-The-Blood-2008
http://www.videosift.com/video/Portishead-Machine-Gun

Hehe, "morning" sickness was invented by evolution, so that people wouldn't realize it was all the time.

Anyway, I'm happy for you, even if it does put a damper on our torrid love affair. Let's cross our fingers that nothing happens this time.

In reply to this comment by UsesProzac:
Yeah, had a miscarriage three months ago and I wasn't even thinking it could happen so soon. Been really sick, trying to get up enough energy to Sift something, but eh. Morning sickness isn't in the morning.. it's all the time!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
You pregnant, hon? Dear God!

Congratulations.

Actually, I play WOW as well, so UsesProzac and I will be able to continue our love affair in game (actually no, it's very doubtful we play on the same server).


>> ^blankfist:
Never played an MMORPG in my life. Probably never will. But, although I will be sad to see you leave, you big nerd, I am sure Sarzy is not. Won't you blow him a kiss before you leave (and not the chunky kind from your wazzit, if you get my meaning).

No cats, but they are fun critters once you get to know them.

Nothing like dogs. Not good, not bad, just how it is.

I had a friend who, when he was a kid, used to think that cats were the females and dogs were the males of the same species.

Both my mom and dad, who used to hate cats, now have cats of their own. They love and dote over them, telling me the funny cat stories that we all have.

I had three cats once in my life: Sophie, Otto, and Hoss, but I had to get rid of them after a love affair went awry. Regret it to this day, losing the cats, not the affair.

Me and alien_concept were caught in some prose on prose action. We've since scaled it back to a torrid love affair.

If the sift had harassment laws, I'd be in deep water.

It was my love affair with coach McGuirk: http://www.videosift.com/video/Coach-McGuirk-on-Losing

It wasn't my first attempt but definately my baby picture, and lets face it if you guys like McGuirk than you're okay in my book.

So I should also recognize: theaceofclubz, fissionchips, thegrimsleeper, GDGD, Violator99, obsidianfire, rottenseed, laura, and shuac. Thanks everybody.

>> ^Raverman:
lol I've never seen a Letterman 'bitch slap' like this before...

You obviously never saw what he did to Elle Macpherson and his on again / off again love affairs with Madonna and Farrah Fawcett.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'star trek, nin, love affair' to 'star trek, nin, love affair, closer, nine inch nails' - edited by dystopianfuturetoday

Sorry buddy, but I gotta be the dupe nazi today:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Kirk-and-Spocks-love-affair

I had the same thing happen to me a few months ago with this one. I'm going to *discard it now, because it's only 2 votes away from being published. Sorry.

So the French are capable of comedy now? I thought all their films were about love affairs and depressed brooding with a hint of pretentiousness!