Tags for this video have been changed from 'Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee, jerry seinfeld, new york, mud' to 'louis ck, yacht, Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee, jerry seinfeld, new york, mud' - edited by xxovercastxx

As he goes on to explain, just like the "Hispanic men are rapists" joke and the "Muslims blow shit up" joke, this joke relies on exaggerating either the facts or our perception of reality. Case in point, Jenner was biologically born a man and decided he felt more like a woman. Now he literally needs to learn how to "act like a woman" because--let's face it--the majority of what we perceive as "feminine" is learned, acculturated behavior (how to dress, how to move, how to talk, etc.).

And yeah, all of those jokes are offensive--but so what? Why are we so worried about being offensive when telling jokes? If you honestly believe that all Hispanic men are racists or all Muslims are terrorists or all transgender individuals are "just acting" then clearly there's a problem. But how is there any harm in joking about these things?

The humor lies in exaggerating to an absurd level facts that are taken out of context (or put into an entirely new context). Every great comedian does this , which is why apparently great comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock don't do college shows anymore.

Pardon my cynicism, I love dogs and I donate to many dog training programs like this. But having said that, this looks like it was done for the camera, instead of the camera just being at the right place at the right time, which bugs me.

It also bugs me that "Aspergers" is stamped all over every other story you read now. Now Jerry Seinfeld and David Byrne and apparently half the offspring of half of my coworkers have a "touch of Aspergers" or are on the "autism spectrum". It's like a freaking designer diagnosis now.

And there's no shortage of news stories about someone who was the victim of road-rage or excessive police force who "suffered from Aspergers" and probably didn't understand the situation. Apparently calling them an "honor student" doesn't generate enough pathos anymore.

I'm sure I'll be misunderstood but I have nothing but empathy for this person in the video and all those that GENUINELY suffer from this.

Your video, Jerry Seinfeld does not want to be on Seth Meyers Late Night, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

I disagree, for the same reasons as Jerry Seinfeld:
http://www.ew.com/article/2015/06/08/jerry-seinfeld-politically-correct-college-campuses

I think that especially in the US, people feel this need to justify their normally diverse reactions to things with concrete "causes". They don't like things because they are "sexist" or "racist", or because they are "passive aggressive" or whatever. Bust most of the time, we just like or dislike things because it either DOES or DOES NOT resonate with us individually on a personal level.

All the rationalizing can maybe help us as individuals figure out why we like/dislike the things we do, but it seems like we Americans have some tendency to assume our tastes are (or should be) universal.

...Not that my opinion on this topic is any more (or less) valid than yours.

He shouldn't have gone straight to the half Wolverine, he should have gone for the Mungo Jerry first.

Jerry, the ultimate mack, right to the very end.

How does Jerry do it?!

It was April the forty-first
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray
And it was overheating

So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"

While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi Gil"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
He poured me the usual

Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
Heavy on the mako

I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
For the halibut

Well the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole

Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
Salmon Chanted Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving me the eye
So I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a . . .
She drank a lot

I said "What's your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great, let's get tanked"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"

And she wasn't kidding either
Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels

He came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods

The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke but there he was
Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless

I said "Forget the cods Gil
This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said
"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish
What's your name"
I said "Marlin"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Well, from then on we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

i like how he wears mittens under the gloves!

don't know who copied whom, but i've always laughed with looney. that weird, stressful, boring tom&jerry never made me laugh once, as a child or an adult.

This is comedy gold.

Gold, Jerry! Gold!

More from "MDB Communications" (the ad firm behind the D.C. Lottery commercials):




They won an "Addy" award for this btw. For whatever that's worth.

I gave this sift 2 votes up (in my mind) but also one vote down because it threw Tom Cruise under the bus for no reason. Joel Goodsen, Maverick, Ethan Hunt, Jerry Maguire, Les Grossman and Lestat de Lioncourt has nothing to do with this.

of course, we may also ignore that mental prowess is inextricably linked to the physical being.
there's a reason why older people tend to be much more conservative, narrow viewed, and easy to emotionally manipulate. it's called physical decline.

There are of course rather large benefits to experience, but experience is still just one factor in the whole.

still, what is at issue here is not necessarily "age" or "age-ism" - it's our fascination with appearance... - it's more the fact that jerry brown is butt-ugly and has no hair. he will thus lose a presidential election based heavily upon the marketing of a candidate. Since Ike and TV, we haven't had a bald president. period.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO, ageism, wisdom, millennials, pedjudice, jerry brown' to 'Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO, ageism, wisdom, millennials, prejudice, jerry brown' - edited by brycewi19

I liked how the laughs and applause got progressively more uncomfortable / hesitant as he went on... And then the applause when he finished was second only to when he started -- palpable relief?

/thumbs up for sticking it to slimy advertisers right in their face, Jerry!