what a laugh. ho ho ho. merry christmas iraq! oh, you guys don't have christmas? wtf?

^yeah i know, it was just a funny video. maybe i am getting battle fatigue.

Oh ho ho ho - NAILED. That's hilarious.

Transcript for the hard of hearing/thinking:

Part 1: how to effectively pause while the audience is interrupting you
thats all right....lets....excuse me....hey.....hold on a second...........(audience chanting)....hold on....hold on everybody...excuse me young man...this is going to be question and answer session.....youll have your chance to answer your question, you dont have to disturb the whole meeting.

Part 2: how to stall while you are thinking of an answer to the question
alright alright, well uh i-i-i-they-uh-well-i-i-i-guess-i-i-i-hold-on-hold a second-everybody-i want everybody to be respectful, thats why were having a town hall meeting, this-this-this is democracy at work, and he-he asked a legitimate question so i want to give him an answer. um, i think you are misinformed about when you say not one time, every issue you spoke of i did speak about

Part 3: how to fabricate an answer to a question off the top of your head
ive been talking about predatory lending for the last two years in th us senate, and worked to pass legislation to prevent it when i was in the state legislature. and i have repeatedly said that many of the uh-uh predatory loans that were made in the mortgage system did target african american latino communities. ive said that repeatedly. number two, gina six. i was the first candidate to get out there and say that this was wrong and we should change it. thats number two, when sean bell got shot i put out a statement immediately saying this is a problem.

Part 4: how to ineffectively cope with your questioner confronting the absurdity of your response, in stutter
so so all all all i all im all all all im im saying im sorry wait wait wait dont start wait wait ho ho ho hold on. dont start dont start shouting back im just answering your question. on on on each of on each of these issues ive spoken out, not i may not have spoken out the way you would have wanted me to speak out, which is which is fine, because no no no i understand, no no look look but but, well well they we well they uh, re-re-re-remember i have other people so im just trying to answer your question.

Part 5: how to make excuses for your answer, in stutter
so so all all all i so uh all i uh ho ho ho ho hold on dont dont dont start shouting back im just answering your question on on on-on each of on each of these issues....i have spoken out, now i may not have spoken out the way you would have wanted me to speak out, which is which is fine, because i, no i understand, no, but but, uh , which is fine, well uh uh, well uh uh they well uh hold on a second, re-re-re-remember well ive got other people.

Part 6: how to deflect attention from your ridiculous response, while trying to establish false credibility through past actions, in stutter
heres what im suggesting is, is that on each of these issues that you mention ive spoken out and ive spoken out forcefully, and i-i-i-i-i uh listen i was a civil rights lawyer i-i-i-i-i i have i have passed the first racial profiling legislation in illinois i uh i passed i-i-i-i passed hold on a second i passed some of the-the-the-the toughest death penalty reform legislation in illinois so-so-so these are issues ive worked on on for decades

Part 7: how to assault your questioner, then raise your voice as you proudly recite a feel-good, meaningless, cliched statement to distract your audience from what just happened
now that doesnt mean that im always going to satisfy the way you want these issues framed. which which which uh gives you the option of voting for someone else, it gives you the option to run for office yourself, but, the, those, those are all options, but, but the one thing but the one thing that i think is important the one thing that i think is important, is that, is that we are respectful to towards each other, and what is true, the one thing i believe is that the only way we are going to solve our problems in this country, the only way we are going to solve our problems in this country is if all of us come together black, white, hispanic, asian, native american, young old, disabled, gay, straight that i think has got to be our agenda. alright. okay.

Before I begin, let's be nice and clear: the joke here is not that he wants to kill Iranians. The joke is to use cigarettes to kill Iranians: ho ho ho. Hilarious. Killing Iranians is clearly the ultimate goal.

So if your only tool is a hammer, then every problem looks more and more like a nail. I swear, this attitude is going to spell our doom.

Oh ho ho ho ho hooooo! now you all know what to get me for my birthday!

They omitted the best part: when you drop an airstrike Santa comes flying over the map, "Ho Ho Ho" and everything and drops a load of explosive presents all over the place. True story, go try it.

yea i got the feeling that this exercise had that 'lose weight in 5 days!' kinda false advertisement promise to it lol

I'm happy with my current routines that I came up by myself, and I know my body's physical limits. So I'm in good hands. Thx for the info

In reply to this comment by rembar:
Hey there, Merry Christmas and happy holidays and ho ho ho and all that. Santa's here, bringing Christmas cheer, and warning you not to do this workout. Not sure what your routine is, but if you're dilligent enough to be doing a proper weight lifting routine, you should be doing weighted exercises, like weighted sit-ups and weighted reverse sit-ups, and the like, the kind of things that will increase your functional strength. This workout is so screwed up that it will likely end up weakening your core.

Hey there, Merry Christmas and happy holidays and ho ho ho and all that. Santa's here, bringing Christmas cheer, and warning you not to do this workout. Not sure what your routine is, but if you're dilligent enough to be doing a proper weight lifting routine, you should be doing weighted exercises, like weighted sit-ups and weighted reverse sit-ups, and the like, the kind of things that will increase your functional strength. This workout is so screwed up that it will likely end up weakening your core.

In reply to this comment by legacy0100:
I think it's a bit too intense to be a day to day workout. I'm already jogging and weightlifting as is, so I'd be modifying this a lil bit. Thx tho.

*howto

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas - for you, little jlorka I have an Antonio *banderas action figure. Now, my elf - Siftbot has something for you.

Might be a gay guy looking at your car while it's getting an ice shower too MarineGunrock... lookoutz!

"Don't want no homo staring at my exhaust pipe", ho ho ho..

HO HO HO, HI, HI, HI.

Also a proud owner of Mario Paint. HOO-HO-OH-YA-HO-HO-HO, to some random stick man doing sit ups, MARIO PAINT! <cheer> That plastic mousepad that came with it was terrible!

Incredibly poor choices. None of the best one-liners of all time are actually in the video. No "Ho, ho, ho, now I have a machine gun" or any other of a hundred other Die Hard lines including "Yipee-kai-yay, motherfucker!"? No "Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked!" or "Game over, man!" or any other of a hundred other Aliens lines? Come on, guys, at least try!

Cheers rembar, 'twas a bit of a stab in the dark (ho ho ho).

I was just impressed with the speed at which they were dodging the qiang. Just very impressive choreography and precision.

This movie always did get me in the holiday spirit. So did the sequel in the airport. I think that's the problem I had with Die Hard 3. It had lost that Christmas wholesomeness.

Now I have a Machine Gun
Ho Ho Ho