Your video, Mike Tyson and Snoop Dogg as Oprah and Gayle [Deepfake], has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

1. I can dance the tango, amongst other ballroom dances, and have won dance contests.

2. My father is a major part of space history – he was a range safety officer, blowing up missiles that went off course in the early days of the missile program – has destroyed more missiles than anyone else and no one is likely to ever catch up to him, since they know what they are doing now.

3. I love to tell stories, and when I travel, I write stories in my head to tell when I get home (did I ever tell you about spending an hour – at 10 pm in the winter night -- talking to the lone Scottish soldier guarding Edinburgh Castle and what he told me about kilts and Scottish pride?)

4. I am vain about my ears.

5. The only thing I have ever given birth to is a theater company, now defunct for ten years, and I am very proud that folks still mourn its passing. We did GREAT STUFF.

6. I am hypercritical and judgmental of others, but I am hardest of all on myself.

7. Once I moved to hippy haven Port Townsend, I grew out my armpit hair to see if I could blend in with the natives – and then scared myself in the shower because I thought it was a spider.

8. One of my best friends is my Oklahoma cousin, which is remarkable because we have never spent more than a week in each others company in five decades.

9. The precept I try to live by: “Everyone is doing the best they can in any given moment. Their best may stink, and you may need to avoid them, but it is indeed the best they can do.” I’m still hypercritical and judgmental. Even though I believe this to the core of my being.

10. I have cheated at Scrabble online.

11. I have had eight teeth pulled and braces, but my teeth are still crowded.

12. I am vain about my eyebrows.

13. I love telling jokes.

14. I was born in Alaska.

15. My mother died in 1988 and I still miss her terribly. She was funny and caring and smart.

16. Typing number 15 made me cry, which surprised me.

17. I paid $1,500 for a lifetime pass to the local arts cinema 14 years ago, which turned out to be a great investment – they recently sold some more and wanted $5,000 (that did include popcorn for life, but still).

18. I didn’t talk to my father for two years because he was an asshole when I was growing up, and now I call him every single day because he lives in a nursing home. He’s also not an asshole any more – or at least, I can walk him out of being an asshole. This transformation in our relationship is a great blessing in my life.

19. I am very very good at my job.

20. I am quick to anger.

21. I am very generous.

22. The librarians have a nickname for me. They call me The Gale, to differentiate me from all the other mere Gales, Gayles and Gails in town.

23. I have never lived anyplace with so many people named Gale/Gayle/Gail.

24. I am happy on the first day of winter and sad on the first day of summer – because the days are so frigging short in winter and they start to get longer on the Winter Solstice. And verse visa for Summer – it means the days are getting quickly shorter.

25. This list was interrupted by my friend Deb, and we went across the street for lemon drop martinis and baked poblana peppers and cheese. My friend Deb says that #25 should be: Once upon a time, I kissed too many boys.

This show was originally just on the radio and now I believe it's being broadcast both on the radio and on the network.

(I won't admit how I know this.)

>> ^rottenseed:

You'd figure with Oprah backing you, you could afford microphones that weren't used in the 80s

>> ^schmawy:
Gayle bought a strap-on. Problem solved.


Set that to a country music beat and I think we've got a hit!

Gayle bought a strap-on. Problem solved.

Choggie-
here's a link to fix you Crystal Gayle vid:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2012301810