I only ever bought one pack of Gaulloises. They are, without a doubt, the harshest, most vicious cigarettes I've ever been on one side of.

Consider, if you will: smoking broken glass, thumbtacks, and barbed wire. On fire.

I gave up on the pack after three and carried two packs for a month afterward, happily giving them away to panhandlers. Yeah, I'm kind of a dick like that.

I live about 4 miles from three-mile island. Each year, we get a pamphlet on what to do if the thing goes boom. The general advice is:
•Take your freaking potassium iodide pill ASAP, or spread a good bit of iodine on your arm or a bit of skin. This saturates your thyroid with normal (as opposed to RADIOACTIVE) iodine.
•If you were outside, get inside and take a long shower to wash off the radioactive soot you might have on your skin. ...oh and don't breath the crap if you don't have to. Filters = good.
•If you are downwind and you catch on quick, get the hell out of dodge.
•If you are downwind and you don't catch on quick, the roads will be packed and you should just hide in your basement under tons of crap to prevent the radioactive particals from outside from reaching you. If you have a sufficiently large pile of crap in your basement, you'll be fine (this is hilariously true in fact).
•If you are now "safely" in your basement, under a huge pile of crap, breathing filtered air, and you wait there for a few days, listen to the radio and it will tell you either what to do or when it is "safe" to get the hell out of dodge.
•When it is safe to get the hell out of dodge, go to your car, dust it off, turn off the vents, and get the hell out of dodge. Head upwind of the plant and when you are, open your windows and taste the sweet sweet air of not-cancer.

...ok, so those last few bits of advice were written by me... not the pamphlet, which is by far not as interesting or useful.

The best irony is that "duck and cover" is freaking good advice! Radiation sickness is often avoidable or at least minor. A huge sheet of broken glass flying at your face... is well... less minor, unless you don't mind having a shortage of skin and all that.

No fans were hurt by the broken glass. It's safety glass so when it breaks it shatters into little pieces that aren't particularly sharp. They were a little surprised to say the least

Did the fans get hurt from the broken glass?

yeah, so instead of a cork flying at you, you've not got wire, a metal "cap" and broken glass.

brilliant