I got up early and cooked a 22lb turkey for over 5 1/2 hours. Rosemary butter all over and injected in the breasts, and nothing else. Turned out great, flavorful and juicy.
Right after it came out, my new oven died, so I had to abandon the already made but uncooked apple pie. Not a big deal, as there were 4 half pies left over when everyone left.

My brother brought his corgie who immediately did a few full speed laps of the yard before performing a beautiful horizontal swan dive into my pond. I gave it an 8.7.

Happy roast a dinosaur for genocide day, everyone.

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Make them?

If you want to cook an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

A Mitt Romney fan, eh? You should probably read this article, which absolutely guts the myth that only half of income earners pay taxes.

As far as the top 1% paying 40% of the taxes, I agree that is atrocious--they are supposed to be paying almost ALL of it! See, when the income tax was introduced with the 16th Amendment, it was primarily meant to be a tax on the rich. The federal tax rate for middle-class people was meant to be around 1-2% whereas the tax rate on the rich was around 7%. You can see the original 1913 tax form here.

Of course, since literally the income tax's inception, the federal government has continuously been shafting the middle classes while reducing the tax burden of the wealthy. It's about as American as apple pie by this point!

The big problem is that the government relies more and more on income tax to fund federal projects. Take a look at the graph in the article I linked to at the start of this comment and note how corporate taxes keep going down while income and payroll taxes keep going up.

It doesn't help at all that most of America's biggest businesses have offshore tax havens where they can avoid paying taxes (think Ireland for Apple, Inc., though that hasn't worked out so well for them thanks to the EU being less corporate cock-sucking than the U.S. government).

So, to solve America's tax deficit problem, the solution is pretty clear--tax rich people more (as was intended), tax corporations more and cut off their tax havens, and maybe give a tax break to the people who actually need and deserve it--the middle and lower classes.

But of course all of that sounds suspiciously like socialism, which as we all know is the devil incarnate and about as un-American as naming your kid Stalin.

Yes...you did...and still do.
Yes, you did say we're in dire straits."A constant slide toward globalism all the while a less better way of life.
Constant strife, sliding towards a ever more debasement humanity and of values clearly promoted in Hollywood, and media. Who is really pushing this agenda".
Yes, you did admit he's unqualified...."This current state of being is a long time in coming not a POTUS Trump fault.. One can argue Trump is not qualified but this was laid at his feet when he took office" if you don't mean that as an admission, you need to study American phrases, perhaps that means something different in Russian.

Most Americans believe in diversity as a positive trait. Most Americans believe in individual freedom and liberty. Most Americans believe corporate personhood is a horrendous idea that destroyed our political system. If most of America didn't enjoy what Hollywood produces, why are they still buying it?
Granted, adult programs exist. As a parent, it's your responsibility to monitor what your kids watch, not mine. I don't have to go without adult programming because you suck as a parent. Ratings and child locks make it easy as hell for you, but still you whine. (What's your cure? Regulating entertainment to allow pg-13 at most?)
Hyper violence is as American as Apple pie, has been since the great war (ww1) if not our inception.

Is he the only one, far from it. Is he the worst offender, lying about everything, incapable of honesty on any topic, with multiple admitted felons committing treasonous crimes as part of his administration? Clearly. Is he even trying to be honest and give Americans real information, or is he outright boldly lying about tripling the deficit for personal gain. Hint...it's the latter.

Edit: Politicians and police are allowed to lie? Talk about debasement of humanity and values....geez. Only allowed to lie by people like you, not me. Liars are liars, not to be trusted again, not to be handed more power, and are undeserving of respect or acceptance. There's a big difference between lying and mistakes. People who unintentionally make misstatements, then correct them may not be liars. Trump is a proud, intentional, pathological liar, and not even a good one, so intelligent people stopped listening to him long ago, it's just a waste of time. Sadly, that includes our recent allies, who are turning their backs on us in droves. Even you cannot be so delusional or dishonest as to make a case that this is good for America or the globe, or something any rational parent would teach their children is proper behavior....but you are. I hope your kids learn the lesson you're teaching, that it's fine to lie if it helps you get what you want, and the next 7+ years are full of bold lies, unfulfilled promises, and excuses for why your kids are now teenage junkie parents with disdain for civility.

To make an apple pie from scratch... has been added as a related post - related requested by Fantomas on that post.

To make an apple pie from scratch... has been added as a related post - related requested by Fantomas on that post.

That was a rhetoric question.

Your brain literally refused to see that..

The grass is ON FIRE on the other side of the fence, Lantern.

And you just to looove to telling the internet, videosift in particular, about how you can totally help put out that fire..

..with MORE FIRE!

So, no..

By no means do I EVER think you'd sit down with a person of color - not even your son-in-law - and sincerely discuss the repugnant shit you say here.

You're too much of a coward - like most bigots - to analyze your worldview and adjust it appropriately.

Just like all conservative-minded folks. You're scared.

You just want everything to be exactly like Happy Days, again.
You just want Baseball, Apple Pie, & the 'Murican Dream to live again!

Silly nostalgic old dog, you.

I can almost sympathize. /s

Keeping the Oh Snap alive! Just waiting for the Snap Son to make it's come back. I like both of these so much.

Personally, I'm rather fond of a singular Snap or SNAP. Maybe some Shnap or Shizz-nap -- put that one together with some dee oh double gee!

I just really like the word "snap", especially in this particular emotional context. It's so positive and upbeat; I feel awake. And it's not at all contradictory or assuming like Bad, Cool or Radical; and, not nearly as aggrandizing as Awesome.

It's also not emotionally inappropriate like Sick, Rude or Bomb. Nor strange and alienating like Gnarly, Gnar, Gnar Gnar, and Sicky Gnar Gnar. Or as fluffy and clueless as Bodacious and Tubular; you can't Shwing everything; and, calling your mom's apple pie Tight or Fit is just... not right. (And what's Book?)

Snap. It's the musical sound of your fingers. Addam's Family says what? Snap Snap.

Still... NOT excited enough to go out and pick up some onyx yeast and put it on my toast. But, if I see it laying around on... someone's floor(?...?) I'll give it a go.

((?...?) = the questioning look of mild disgust on my face, best represented colloquially as a deadpan "wut.")

MESSAGE: Eat the apple pie if no one wants it.

For those unaware, she won the entire competition and was crowned Masterchef for season 3.

I was rooting for her the entire season and was very happy to see her win, however I do feel they gave her extra points and wanted her to win because of her impairment.

@mxxcon - It's not just knowing what your food tastes like, but being able to present a beautiful dish that's difficult, and she did a great job with presentation for most every dish. Aside from that, in this challenge the taste of her apple pie was the least of her worries.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'gordon ramsay, christine, apple pie, masterchef us, season 3, blind, chef' to 'gordon ramsay, christine ha, apple pie, masterchef us, season 3, blind, chef' - edited by lucky760

@shinyblurry

You brought up my atheism and then started defining it. I'm telling you you're defining it wrong. It's really on you to do the minimum research and Google "weak atheism" to find the definition before telling me I'm wrong.

About the apple pie and logic. You're twisting words around and not following logic at all. According to formal logic, the logical opposite of "I believe apple pie tastes good", is, "It is not the case that I believe apple pie tastes good." A person who didn't know if apple pie tasted good would be justified in making that statement. So, it is not the case that I believe God exists.

If you really didn't know, you wouldn't believe *or* disbelieve in God. You would be neutral to the existence of God.

Not taking a firm 100% stance doesn't entail I have no opinion or guesses one way or the other. I may be suspending judgement until I feel I have sufficient evidence. My best guess is that the Biblical God doesn't exist. You still haven't given me a strong statement that I could possibly provide proof for. Find my words, quote them to me, and ask me to prove them. Don't just go claiming that I've taken a negative position.

First, you presume that all spiritual experience is a trick of the mind.

I certainly do not presume that. What I presume is that a. there are other people who have numinous experiences, b. they associate them with different religions, and c. they are just as sure they're real an accurate as you are. Do you disagree with any of those presumptions? I conclude logically from that that these people cannot all be correct in their interpretation. From that I conclude that it's possible you are one such person.

My faith isn't based on feelings, it is based on the action of God in my life. Many times I did not have the feelings, but God provided the evidence.

Could you tell me what this evidence was besides the communication in your head that told you he's controlling every atom?

God is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient, and there are certain things only He can do.

Name three things that only God can do. How do you know no other entities can do those things?

Ask Jesus to throw you a bone. Say to Him, Jesus, if you are real I will serve you. Please show me evidence that you are who you say you are. If you are sincere about serving Him, I have no doubt He will respond. He said knock and the door will open.

Been there, done that. Didn't work. Everybody in my family grew up with very strong faith. We prayed, went to church, sang in the choir, served as altar boys, did the readings, donated, attended Sunday school, received the Sacraments, studied the bible at home, and discussed the nature of God. My sister worked for a Christian organization. But none of us ever received any kind of signal that we were on the right track. Two of my sisters lost faith and left the church, then I did, then my other sister. My parents also slowed their attendance and even stopped going for a while. I've talked with them about it, and they varyingly say either they don't really believe any more, but the ritual feels good; or that it's "the right thing" to go to church. So, where was Jesus for my whole family? My parents have both given over 70 years to Jesus with not a peep back. I was faithful from birth until I noticed that I had never ever felt Jesus's presence and wondered if it was all fake. I don't remember what or how I asked, but I did ask Jesus to show himself. And that was when I actually believed in him. He didn't show himself, so I gradually lost faith, became comfortable with my lack of faith, and left the church.