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"Get off my dock-ling"
modulousScrew it, let's just shotgun the damned things in the face, it's not like I'm the founder of a group called Wildlife Aid or anything.
The answer to your question is summarised thus: Birds break easily. I don't want old Simon to start Breaking Bird.
I'll never understand why people don't kick them. They have giant fucking weapons protected by shoes. Kick the fucking things until they learn not to fuck with you!