They need to invite some Formula Off road guys next time.
Vikings really know how to fly a car up a vertical hill. In fact, they're driving skills are so godlike, they can drive on water.

(Intro)
Okay y’all. One thousand words in two minutes
Let’s do this
Yo...
(Verse 1)
In a couple minutes I'ma have to kill it
All the haters that just sit up on the web
But they will say that they don't feel it
But I'm never gonna listen to these idiots who dumb as fuck
I'll punch 'em and I'll kick 'em and I'll hit 'em with an uppercut
They told me that I got a record that I gotta break it
Get your woman naked in the garden she’ll be talking stank
I’ll fill my lungs up full of air and bust you till I hyperventilate
A thousand words, a hundred twenty seconds imma get it straight
I'ma grab the mothafuckin' sun and take a bite of it
I see a rapper try to say he sick but he a vitamin
You know that Mr Mac up on the track like it's a Viking ship
I rip the fucking beat up in to bits when I go psycho quick
All the ladies in the world is like "I love you, Mac"
I fry their brain up in your fuckin' noggin' when I bust a rap
I find a beat I really wanna kill and then I do
And all the mumble rappers in the game are dumb and sounding stupid
I’m an artist with a plan and stacking money in the videos
If that shit is a gimmick, tell the truth I wanna spit it slow
You don’t like the way that I be rappin’ fuckin’ sue me
I’ma get up on the stage and whip it out, just call me Louis
I’ma kill the crew but danny Mac is lethal with the skill
I am the king, I order you to have a pizza every meal
You acting cheesy like a bag of Doritos
I swear to god I’ll tape your mouth shut and throw you in the back of a vehicle
I’m a missile with the flow, I’m like a rapid torpedo
I got a gun up in my hand the size of Danny Devito
But now you sinkin’ like the fuckin’ Titanic
If anybody want a piece of this I’m thinner skinned and having to plan
Now listen to me, I don’t give a fuck about the shit that rappers meant
The world of fuckin’ choppin’
There’s a hundred million chapters baby
I could probably squat a fuckin’ elephant for fifty reps
I need to breathe a little bit of air right now and get my breath
I climb right up the wall like I’m a ninja with a weapon
I’m an angel and I’m evil pulling bitches up in heaven
Everybody call me Lethal, I’ve been rapping twenty years
And walk on water like I’m Jesus only rappin for the cheers before
I get up in the ring and fight a rapper I'm a black belt
And my hands on broken glass so I can leave the fucker battered
I’ma hit them with a bat right in the head until they dead
And make him take back all the dumb and stupid words he ever said
Let me take a breath so I can get back on the drums again
And sneak up on you like I’m the Phantom of the Opera
With a mask over my face but my teeth under your throat
And then I’m drinkin’ every droplet of your motherfucking blood, my friend
I’m just a product of Peter, the clip will pop in the heater
I got the spots of a cheeta
So when the gotta da vida
You better walk away
I’m rapping like a lunatic up on the mic and post it up on YouTube for the stupid chips
(Where’d you go?!)
(Verse 2)
So let me take another breath, I’m lookin’ hella dope
And I’ve been poppin’ since I made the pancakes cook up on the stove
And all you rappers up on YouTube had to treat me like the pope
‘Cause I’m the fuckin’ original
And you’re just huffing the chemicals and you’re just suckin’ like tentacles
Anybody this lyrical better just know I’m coming with the illest flow ever
Tryna kick that bull shit, you get your toes severed
Flames comin’ out my lungs you know I’m crushin’ every drum that ever popped up in the war path
Burning everything that I can see or smell or hear
That starts a fire in the sky and that’s the mother fucking forecast
People wanna say “Mac just raps fast. Really, he ain’t sayin’ shit”
You just mad ‘cause you can’t speak alien
Let’s do it
Gotta spit a lot of fuckin’ words in just a little time
I’m about to put a bomb inside your soul so I can blow your mind
I make it look so easy everybody wanna try it
But your lungs will probably suffocate and then you’ll end up dying
I’ma take a sword and cut my fuckin’ capillaries open
Lava coming out my mouth and all my raps are fuckin’ smokin’
Anybody wanna try to play the game with Mac is losin’
I be comin’ like a wolverine and show my teeth and chew ‘em
I’ma bite a silly rapper on the throat until he bleedin’
I’ll be taking every dollar out your pocket, now we even
I’ll be taking every crumb right off your plate, that’s how I’m eating
What the fuck you gonna do? I‘ll crack your soul and then I reach in
I’m the best that ever did this, other raps, they’re not a match for me
You gotta know that I can drop a line so hard it cracks a tree
I poke you in the eyeball with a microbe
Now you have to see that when I rap I don’t have to breathe

Oh shit! Two minutes and three seconds!
Well that was one thousand and thirty words
New world fuckin’ record! Yeah!
Oh shit... new world record

Your video, Vikings - Hold My Hair, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

"[...] you haven’t been to Trondheim, Norway. The town still lives like their ancient ancestors before them[...]"

I have been to Trondheim, and while it was some years ago, it was a modern city at the time. I don't recall making my shoes or anything.

"[...] all lead by Chief Viking Ingrid Galadriel Aune Nilsen." That's gonna be news to the residents, who probably thought that Trondheim's mayor, who Google tells me is Rita Ottervik, led the city.

Absolutely not at the cost of my rationality or sanity, which is the bare minimum price to believe such impossible, clearly debunked stories about Gods and demi Gods. If I was going to adopt a mythos, I would go Viking, it's so much more interesting and less self serving than any form of Christianity, which is largely nothing more than a poor mishmash of older religions/political propaganda from Emperor Constantine.


Besides, with no heaven or hell, I need no saving. He could only save me from the tortures he brings with him. (sin and hell)

You still haven't touched my original questions.

Strongly recommend NOVA's piece on the Secrets of the Viking Swords ("Ulfberht")---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTlmrAh1oHI

It's like they picked up some confused viking dude who did not get the memo that times have changed. I AM FROM LOFOTON FOR FUCK'S SAKE! heh

Your video, Recreating the Legendary Ulfberht Viking Sword, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

I'm positive that this is one of the predicted signs of the apocalypse.....wait...what are all those Vikings doing climbing down that rainbow outside my window?

We made viking longboats when I was a kid. My mum and I got well into it, we built a proper keel and ribs and then layered strips of card for the hull. She did quite a bit of the fiddly construction, but we did the research and planning together and I was thrilled to be making something totally awesome.

There is obviously value in getting kids to go away and create something independently, but real life projects are usually collaborative, even if reading any CV makes it seem otherwise. In the end it was a different (obviously inferior ) boat that "won", but you better believe that if my hypothetical kids ever have to build a boat that I am going to pass on what my mum passed on to me.

I had a friend who was intensely proud of his Norwegian heritage. He would get pissed every time we watched a movie that showed stuff like vikings in horned helmets or other incorrect garb. I used to kid him about it, was always fun.

Sadly he passed away from a brain aneurysm before the Vikings (http://www.history.com/shows/vikings) series came out. I think he would have loved it.

Hmmm. Thought I'd added this comment already but...

If you like this, you might also like this NOVA special...

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/ancient/secrets-viking-sword.html

His name is Josh Clark and he was inspired by the Blue Man Group. He's a busker. Some buskers are homeless, some not, and some start out homeless and then get record deals and worldwide acclaim -- like Moondog.

Moondog looked like a wizard viking and once conducted the Brooklyn Philharmonic. He invented the instrument known as the trimba.