You know back in the day, you used to get a copy of all your software so if you have to wipe your computer clean and start over.. well.. you have your stuff. 

Then the cheap ass tight wads decide that they can have a backup ON the computer.  You're good as long as the entire computer doesn't crash and burn.

 Well, this idiot here (speaking of myself)  assumed that all computers at least has THAT to fall back on.   I was going to "restore to factory settings" my laptop last.   It has something and I don't know how to get rid of it.  I'm about to throw it though a window and then go on a shooting spree.   Well, it's just not working right.. slow.  Eons to load...  browser freezes constantly. 

 Oh, back to what I was saying...    This thing doesn't have a backup preloaded??  We have to back up our own software now?   Welp, I didn't and now I guess I'm screwed right?    I can't very well back up software that has the whatever hiding in it somewhere.   

I can't sift!  Everything loads sooooooo slow soooo damn slow!!!   I don't have time to figure out this damn thing so I  think I'm going to kidnap a smart nerdy fella now . 

I know.. .I'll set a trap out on my front lawn.  What should I use?  I think for starters... a Star Trek collectors Christmas ornament, a pizza, chocolate chip cookies...maybe a stack of comic books or anime...  I just baked a chocolate cake last night, whaddya think?