I say the same thing to the prostitutes I pick up on the street... It never works.

The odds are stacked against the youth, not just young kids.

The key to success is to turn hardship into an asset. If you can do that, then you can be atop the world.

Its hard to change a lifetime of indoctrination.

Do what you can for those with the drive to live, and do even more for those that are lost causes.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/swansearescue/HATERS.jpg

Take a poop right on their head. If they complain slap them in the face. And tell them only people who don't try are nobodies who get shit on.

You could always tell them that robbing banks is a lucrative job that entails little to no effort, while staying in school ensures a corporate middle-management future until the age of 55 when they die of a heart attack, leaving behind a mortgage and five ugly children who are probably addicted to video games and will never amount to anything.

...I'm not a tutor.

You are bullshitting them... they will never be anything.

This message brought to you by gwiz665's bring-down service. If it's up, I'll get it down.


More seriously though, the "this is america" argument is not really a strong one. It's all about attitude, as far as I see it. If you don't think you'll be able to do something, you probably won't. If you want to do something, if you want to be s success, if you want to accomplish anything, you have to think that you actually can.

People are not equal, people are very different. They need to find out what they really want to do, and excel at it. Homework is basic work - what everybody needs to excel in whatever they want to do.

So tell them to stop crying and be awesome!

The problem is the benchmark of success that these kids look up to. Its highly unrealistic like the shampoo commercials that promise CG like black ravenous hair after just taking a shower.

The benchmark of success is what kids see on television not what they can achieve in reality. This is why community involvement of successful individuals is important.

I'm not the most "sucessful" person. I chose music instead of an expensive piece of paper.

Music is one of the few things the kids and I talk about that gets them most excited, though we are admonished by the school staff if we get loud at all. It kind of pisses me off, my mom and I are doing this for free and the staff has the audacity to tell us to keep it to a whisper??

I was too lazy to expand but what I meant by successful people is people who have achieved making a living doing something they love. That there is no American Dream per say other then the one you set out to create, that success is not defined by the amount of cars, houses, bling, gold teeth that one possess but it could be defined by how happy you feel being part of society as a whole.

Perhaps the act of learning is its own reward? Whether they get to use that knowledge to amass material goods to make life easier is of secondary importance. I know that sounds idealistic, especially given the (assumed) fact that your students probably have far more pressing concerns than gaining happiness from reading and understanding Shakespeare. But if they can retreat from any of the ugliness in their world to a mental space of their own which gives them happiness, wouldn't that be worth it to them? I'm kind of thinking along the lines of what Andy Dufresne told other inmates in "The Shawshank Redemption" about taking Mozart and Bach, etc., with him into the hole (solitary confinement). It's the thing 'they' can never take away from you.

What subjects are you tutoring? What ages are these kids?

[edit] You could also make the point that even if the subject itself won't give them any particular happiness (I heard a rumor that some people don't derive pleasure from abstract mathematics, but I don't really believe it), rising to the challenge and overcoming it certainly will. Not to mention the self-confidence it will give them, and how that self-confidence can feed into every other part of their lives.

Do you teach sex-ed? How does one get you as a tutor? I have many questions...

Maybe do some research and make a list of famous/successful/noble people who started out poor, abused, or in general unfortunate conditions. Money is really not that important anyway, but of course some level of comfort and security are. I find mine in my faith. It makes up for my lack of security and funds. That in particular has been demonstrated to be one of the single greatest motivators in the world be it in poor communities, in prisons, in hospitals, etc., but not everyone has it of course.

I wouldn't say "you can be anything you want to be." I don't think that's really true and I never thought it was true. When I was a kid, I thought adults were just being stupid when they told us that.

"You can have a good life" is a safe statement though. I believed that and I still do. Setting realistic, short term goals can help too.

If I were you, I'd show them the ins-and-outs of selling crack.

That's why I'm not you.

I suppose I could use crack dealing as a good economy parable, supply, demand.

The kids are from a high school here, anywhere from 14-19 or so. My mom teaches all the math and I do everything else, social studies, essays, anything. It's like, a free help session available to any kid who wants, needs it. We do it with Sertoma, a local organization around here, sort of like rotary, which we are also a part of.

We do a lot of volunteer work when we can. On Saturday, we're having a dinner with guardian home kids. Santa will be there. My dad and I are taking turns playing carols on the piano all night. Some of those kids have really painful stories. Rape, abuse. It's terrible. Amazing how they are able to smile.

I was thinking about this today and its hilarious that in my school the kids face the complete opposite situation, they have so much money already due to rich families and oil wealth that they don't need to achieve anything really. They don't need to excel or prove themselves in any way. But this doesn't make them happier, so people burn out here, alot of kids go into doing heroine and other drugs to numb their feelings. Their existence becomes inconsequential.

I recommend reading the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosakyi. At least the first chapter. What's compelling about it is the how he talks about what his two dad's amounted to. It's really a good read and I think would help poor kids realize what other poor kids have accomplished in life. Heck I was a poor kid and now I own my own business and make a living doing something I love.

it's possible to be something, wherever you start, plenty of precedent for that.

the problem is most of the skills you need are not on the school syllabus.

I sincerely believe that the only difference between people who are happy with where they are in life and those who aren't is this:
The realization that they can change it.
It really truly is that simple.
A realization.
After that, you just do it.
Sure, there are many paths, many means to an end. That's where personal character and choice come into play.
We live in a complex, beautiful universe and nothing at all is static or unchangeable.

oh, and when they say "why bother?"
say "well, only bother if YOU matter to you."
mean what you say, and you could change someone's life.