OOOHHHHH MUUUHHHH GAWD. Either I shit too much or not enough, there is no balance with Crohns disease. Thinking a garden hose up the ass and turning the valve would be a good remedy. Why not just go outside and do exactly that, when this problem occurs, just a garden hose, a yoga position and have a TRUSTED FRIEND turn on the water. Because we all have those "friends" who say to take a drink from the hose... then turn it way up so it gets in your nose - those people I would not ask for help.