I'm a laptop serial killer...

*gazes over stacks of dead laptops and random computer parts*

Sometimes I masturbate all over these carcasses. I mean, no. I don't. Ever.

Do that...

If only I had been born with the simple desire to learn electronics...

-- Instead, I was born a luddite into an era of technocracy that my feeble, easily offended, confused and aggressive mind cannot comprehend.

Now I am destined to commit predatory electronic abuse on a daily abuse.

*punches monitor, tears it from the computer, screams into the night and throws it crushed and dying into the heap*

ELECTRONICS!!! AGHHHHH..! The pure and total ANGUISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs screaming out of the house, operates overheating vehicle 100,000 miles over the recommended oil change sticker reminder to the nearest best buy; purchases something using money like its arcade credits; drives home and plugs the heathen VGI cable into its oozing port*

Please... kill me.

See, here's the difference between you and me: you need to be told but I have to know.
While you march wherever you religious leader tells you to ("Looking at those horrible gays! And pay no attention to the man behind the curtain or what he does with the altarboy."), I just ask myself how I'd feel if somebody treated me like I treat others. It's call empathy.
Of course you don't need that, you have somebody to tell you when it's ok to stone someone to death or how to treat your slaves. I actually have to think about that, consider my actions and try to understand how their consequences affect others. Sometimes I even have to be reminded I am an asshole and have to deal with the fallout of making the wrong choices but you don't have to fear that. You have a book that is several hundert years old written by various people who lived at a time where a Walkman would've been considered witchcraft. And since it has been translated and edited a couple of times, it got only better, especially in the expanded universe fan-fiction edition that you consider canon today. How dare those heathens to question you?
It must be great if everything is so clear cut, so black (phew, nearly typed a nasty word...) and white. I actually have to fear backlash if I mistreat the human beings around me. You on the other hand only have to fear that a man (of course, a man), who really, really loves you, condemns you to eternal torture because you kissed a boy and liked it.
You and your damned, old book. Your standard of morality is no better than that of the Quran.
I have to know I did the right thing, you just need to be told you did good. That's the difference between our morality. That's the difference between relying on your faith or relying on your humanity. That's why I refuse to tell a gay kid it's broken and needs fixing or strapping a bomb to my chest, because that shit is wrong and I just know it. No matter what somebody like you tells me.
Get the fuck out with your claims of morality and go clean your temple from the child molesters.

BLASPHEMER!!! FIND OUT IF THE HEATHEN SMELLS WORSE ON THE INSIDE!!!!!

Because every sweat is sacred
Every sweat is great
If a sweat is wasted
God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sweat that can't be found

This is a waste of time I'm sure, because you seem pretty tunnel visioned @shinyblurry, but you're not bringing a Christian voice or viewpoint, you're bringing YOUR Christian voice and viewpoint. It's not necessarily the voice or viewpoint of all Christians. You need to get over yourself and whatever delusion you have that you are Christ's representative here. There are a lot of atheists here. I'm not one of them. I'm also Christian (albeit a terrible one I suppose). There are other religious people on the Sift as well. Yet, somehow, I'm able to cope with reality and science etc and not feel like it's my mission to come in here and tell all the heathens the evil of their ways. Shit, I'm probably more a sinner than all of them. In any event, my point is, this is what you do all the time, every time. Every fucking comment. Give it a rest. This is why you're having a hard time here. For fucks sake, I like a pointless internet argument as much as anyone else but can't you take a little time and have some fun here once in awhile too? Or at least talk about something else.

Do republicans really think they're going to get anywhere hurling shit at scientists? What... women, gays, and heathens don't play anymore?

He he, well said @heathen! This stuff makes me glad I married a girl with green eyes

>> ^chingalera:

You'd think that since these drones can pinpoint a target and place ordinance onnit to within inches that the "innocents" that get caught in the cross-hairs might be associated with the wrong compound, structure, or lean-to. If you hang with Al. you must be a pal, eh?
That Muslim-to-be in the form of a child, destined for a similar penchant for developmental disability in such close proximity to, and under the care of, some twisted Muslim douchebag well, chances are reasonably predictable that the fruit wouldn't fall far from the tree anyhow.
Tough decisions in a fucked-up world full of delusional Koran and Bible bangers....Whattteryagonnado?
You don't see Sikhs er Zoroastrians making any bombs or popping-off rhetoric?! Any Hindu homicide bombers?
Hell, even Jesus told folks to keep their fucking religion to themselves!!
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking."


Just keep defending a failed state, that crushes people under it's boot at will.

>> ^ChaosEngine:

>> ^bareboards2:
Put a shot of blackberry cordial in the glass before pulling the pint.... 'tis grand, I'll tell ye that fer nuttin'.

HERESY!! You don't mess with Guinness. It is sacred.
I'm about to go all shinyblurry on everyone.
Whoever that unfunny ginger bloke is should learn some respect. It is a privilege to learn how Guinness is made. Much like Bruce Lee and Kung Fu, learning to pour a pint correctly is something that we only just recently started teaching foreigners. Woe betide the heathen who drinks before the pint has settled, and may god/allah/buddah/hitchens have mercy on your soul should you attempt to refill a pint .
Arthur J be praised.
Guinness: serious business.
I have to admit I was genuinely appalled when he did that.


Now that's pretentiousness!

>> ^bareboards2:

Put a shot of blackberry cordial in the glass before pulling the pint.... 'tis grand, I'll tell ye that fer nuttin'.


HERESY!! You don't mess with Guinness. It is sacred.

I'm about to go all shinyblurry on everyone.

Whoever that unfunny ginger bloke is should learn some respect. It is a privilege to learn how Guinness is made. Much like Bruce Lee and Kung Fu, learning to pour a pint correctly is something that we only just recently started teaching foreigners. Woe betide the heathen who drinks before the pint has settled, and may god/allah/buddah/hitchens have mercy on your soul should you attempt to refill a pint*.

Arthur J be praised.

Guinness: serious business.

* I have to admit I was genuinely appalled when he did that.

You'd think that since these drones can pinpoint a target and place ordinance onnit to within inches that the "innocents" that get caught in the cross-hairs might be associated with the wrong compound, structure, or lean-to. If you hang with Al. you must be a pal, eh?
That Muslim-to-be in the form of a child, destined for a similar penchant for developmental disability in such close proximity to, and under the care of, some twisted Muslim douchebag well, chances are reasonably predictable that the fruit wouldn't fall far from the tree anyhow.

Tough decisions in a fucked-up world full of delusional Koran and Bible bangers....Whattteryagonnado?

You don't see Sikhs er Zoroastrians making any bombs or popping-off rhetoric?! Any Hindu homicide bombers?
Hell, even Jesus told folks to keep their fucking religion to themselves!!

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking."

I used a potato ricer today to mash some taters. Of course I am no heathen and would never use GARLIC POWDER where fresh cloves of minced and crushed garlic would do much more nicely.