Only a bad time to find it on the comments page. I'm happy to have someone clean up dead videos....but I do wish there was a way to hide comments with nothing but invocations. @lucky760 ...is that a possibility?

@StukaFox, funnily enough today I was thinking of a joke I used to tell back in the day. I couldn't find just now in a 2 minute search making it less likely you've heard it before, so I'll write out a quick version. It's not the funniest or the dirtiest, but it's fun to tell.

So a guy's looking to kill himself and fortuitously comes across a sign saying 'for an interesting death enquire within.' This being a joke he decides he has to give it a go.

Inside is an absolutely huuuuge naked woman. She first instructs him to put his belt on her. He struggles, but eventually manages. "Now," she says "pull it tighter until I'm thin." With every ounce of strength and leverage he can muster he gets the belt to the last notch. Struggling for breath she says "Now eat my pussy". He's starting to suspect a scam, but he goes for it anyway. "Harder!" she gasps, grinding against him. He pushes back against her as hard as he can. "harder! HARDER!" He's pushing so hard he's struggling to breathe. He suspects she's just trying to smother him with her pussy when he feels her starting to orgasm. He pushes harder still. Her muscles tense and pulse until suddenly the belt can't take it any more - POP! Ssccchhhhlllup! And he was never seen again.

----

Bonus clean joke I saw when I searched for the one above: Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you're prepared to face the reaper cushions.

You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course you can dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.

Remember, if you go to a hotel, always bring your own towel. You never know where a hotel towel has been.

So instead of a shower we can be dry cleaned? What will I do with all those towels I bought?

clean up when yer done, son

Trump said on live tv that George Washington had airplanes. And suggested to a doctor,on live tv, that people could get injected with disinfectant. To clean their insides. And then,said to a doctor, on live tv,she look into that.

Your video, Pigs Are Clean, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

"What on earth are you talking about?"
-newt

The rules for property and income when one or both parties decide they no longer want to be in the relationship.




"not having a marriage means you almost certainly will pay for them for 18+ years but won't have many rights to be in their lives"
-newt

Incorrect. If you are on birth certificate, you have the same rights and obligations.
The only pitfalls are that :
- Child support is calculated from the income of the parent with less custody (rather than from the true cost of raising a child).
- Women almost always get custody if the choice is between two parents (like when they live far apart and child can only be at one or the other).



"and may lose your rights to any assets if she grabs first"
-newt

Negative. Co-parenting does not conflate property.

Shared assets when not married are divided either by percentage of purchase price contribution, or by percentage stated in a contract.




"My brother paid well over a hundred thousand dollars for his divorce in Texas"
-newt

"My brother won."
-newt

Won by your own definition. Hence I congratulate.




"You assume women take off time to raise the kids"
-newt

No assumptions. Although afaik they still do it more often.




"You start from a false position that men work both harder and better, but you have no data to back that up. "
-newt

Top result from a zero effort google of "men working hours vs women working hours"

https://towardsdatascience.com/is-the-difference-in-work-hours-the-real-reason-for-the-gender-wage-gap-interactive-infographic-6051dff3a041




"Um...so since you admit many women outearn men and the trend reinforces that"
-newt

I admit that women [as a group] under 35 out earn men under 35 because of preferential admittance (such as to higher education) and preferential hiring (such as to managerial positions).

I did not say that women earn more in the same position for the same hours worked. Young men are simply getting shut out of opportunities, so their incomes are lower. As by design.

It does however highlight how affirmative action is being poorly controlled.
The target statistic is based on overall population at all ages.
The adjustment is skewed to younger ages (school admission is typically for younger people).
So the system is trying to balance out incomes of older men by trimming up incomes of younger women, with no accounting for the effects on younger men or consequences of older men retiring.
The situation is doomed to overshoot with time.

A natural result is the popularity of people like Jordan Peterson, with messages like : "Young men, nobody will help you, stop waiting for someone to help you, stop lamenting your situation, you gotta pull yourself up by your boot straps. Start by cleaning your room, then go make something of yourself".






"Bullshit. You said you would immediately dismiss any woman who has...
"Long dating history? Too much risk[etc]" -scheherazade "
-newt

Straw man argument.

You know I stated that those marriageability criteria exist specifically due to risk of consequences of divorce.

I never stated that I have personal issues with those attributes.
I have dated women on that list. I didn't /marry/ them.

My only criteria for a relationship that I am happy being in is :
- We are mutually attracted
- We like each other
- We are nice to each other
I don't care what your religion is, your politics, your family status, whatever. It's all just noise to me.





" And again, prenuptial. Do you not know what they are?"
-newt

Prenups can be negated by these simple words :

"I did not understand what I was signing"
or
"My lawyer was not present".

Poof. Prenup thrown out.




"their husbands are more likely to break their vows first"
-newt

A woman to cheat needs a willing man (easy)
A man to cheat needs a willing woman (hard)

Times have changed. Online dating made chatting someone up in person and make an impression uncommon, and even considered creepy/unusual. Now people are picked on their online profile based on looks/height/social-media-game.

Dating apps and sites publish their statistics. Nowadays, around 20% of men match with around 80% of women.
Most men aren't having sex. Most men can't find a match to cheat with if they wanted to.

The tall cute photogenic guys are cleaning up.
The 20% of men that match the bulk of women are going through women like a mill. They will smash whatever bored housewife crosses their path.

A 2 second google result :
https://usustatesman.com/economics-of-dating-2-the-brutal-reality-of-dating-apps/




"Women don't like men that believe wholeheartedly that all women are just lessers, leeches"
-newt

Agreed.

Fortunately, I never say that about women.






" you can't grasp that a codified, delineated, agreed to partnership is almost always better, more fulfilling, and has many benefits cohabitation lacks"
-newt

False equivalence.

Cohabitation and Partnership are mutually independent.
Meaning both can exist at the same time.


-scheherazade

One of those languages is the language of men.

I pay people to do my shopping and prepare my food and serve it to me, then clean up after me. I definitely do not belong in the supermarket or the kitchen unless the help has a knife in their back.

...being this is a Wooden Sniper Rifle, the most powerful handmade gun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Is that foot odor I smell?

No problem...she allegedly privately disavowed something unspecified she said in the past (while publicly stating she apologises for nothing and retracts nothing). Problem solved.

Republicans have decided her insanity is washed clean, like her decades of insanity never happened, and won't even vote to see if a school shooting denier and student survivor harasser that believes Jewish space lasers caused California's wildfires to clear land for trains and called for the murder of other representatives publicly should be on the education committee.

But voting for impeachment over inciting a deadly insurrection, that they thought called for a vote for expulsion.

It sounds like today they get to make that position public when the full house votes to remove Green. Let's hope democrats have grown a spine and vote her off committees without Republican support....and let's hope independents remember who the right stands with come election time....racist, antisemitic, vitriolic, total nutjobs that spout incendiary and inflammatory nonsense constantly while calling for the death of high ranking government officials.

it's worth noting that there's a big difference between doing this as a one off and doing it in a production. the fact they had to do reshoots shows how difficult this type of gag is. even with reshoots and using deepfake (which would require a lot of clean up in a real production) it still looks worse.

The best part is that it won't blow a straying passenger plane out of the air. On the other hand, you will need a firehose to clean out the cabin upon landing.

CITATION FUCKING NEEDED BOB

I get it, you and your overlord have really hurt feelings over the fact that 8 MILLION more people wanted Biden in charge. That's not STEALING, that's WINNING. It isn't something Trump has ever actually done legitimately, so I can understand how he wouldn't recognize what that looks like.

There was no "steal" on the part of Biden or the Dems, no matter how loudly Trump whines about it. Donald and his goonsquad are attempting an actual, honest to goodness violent overthrow of the duly elected government of the US. That IS NOT ok. It isn't funny, it isn't cute. It isn't "protesting" anything to break into the US Capitol. It isn't bringing on liberal tears, it's tearing down the structures that have allowed this society to flourish. It's setting fire to the Constitution and pissing on the ashes.

If there's fraud, show the evidence. Don't bitch that they tried but judges said no standing - a lack of standing means there was no injured party. If there had been actual evidence of actual fraud, then there would be injured parties they could bring into court who would have standing. No one has standing though, because there's no evidence, because it was a good clean election and Trump fucking lost. Stop supporting the literal insurrection, and welcome to a few years of the grown-ups who listen to experts trying to steer the ship to safety before the chucklefucks inevitably seize the wheel again.