You're probably right. Haven't eaten at either of them for over a decade.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not some paleo-vegan-organic-raw food zealot. If there's butter, bacon or chocolate involved, I'm there.

I would just rather give my money to my local fish and chip shop than to the likes of mcd or burger king.

Im not too young to remember old bobbo, but its been a very long time since weve had someone in the office that enunciates like someone who would own a fish and chip shop and throw pickled onions at you if you upset her....if you catch my drift.

"Conveniently located within walking distance of a McDonald's, a chip shop, a bunch of Thai food places, and several coffee shops (that don't serve coffee), I literally can't suggest a better weekend than getting stoned, biking over to a boat full of cats and then going for snacks with your grubby cat-hands in matching Poezenboot T-shirts."

Now on my bucket list! Meow puff puff pass

"gherkins"

and for any yanks having trouble with the mother tongue...

I used to buy my chips from an oppressive chip shop regime.
The girl who worked there, she seemed happy,
But I knew it was not what it seemed.
“Do you want salt and vinegar”, was what they made her say,
But in the language of the ghetto,
That means, “Help, I’m a woman in chains”
I wanted to free her.
In my dreams I would see her.
Running naked through the woods round Rainham,
If I had some tigers I’d train them.
To protect her
From the sexual fascism that was lurking, round the gherkins
(yeah)
I’d lean across the counter and we would talk,
I carved the name “Debbie” on a little wooden fork.
But into the shop came a skinhead gang,
They snatched the fork from my hand.
Debbie, she looked at me, to assert my masculinity.
I said “Oi!”, they said “What?”, I said “Nothing…”

ketchup is sugar, red colour, gunk, and one tomato per 1000 bottles.
tomato sauce is normally just fucking ketchup unless you are in a fancy restaurant.

look, in england, if you ask for fries you sound like an idiot. the only place it is used is in a burger king or whatever, because if you say "chips" then they look at you funny and say "certainly sir, one regular FRIES" because they have like an implant in their brain which checks they are using the correct trademarks for stuff.
And you wouldn't say "chips" because they are going to give you FRIES which are NOT CHIPS.

If you are in a restaurant, you might see french fries on the menu, that means thin fries that look like mcdonalds but taste more like potato.

If you are in a restaurant and you order chips, they will probably not be soggy, they should be crispy and THICK like your thumb.

If you buy frozen chips and cook them in the oven at home they will be SHIT. Full stop / period.

But the best is if you go to a CHIP shop which do actually change the oil and get chips wrapped in paper and wait until they go soggy.

The thin slices of fried potato in a plastic/foil bag are called CRISPS not CHIPS. you know why? because they are crisp, and they are not chip shaped.

A chip is chunky, like a sculptor knocks chips of stone off a sculpture. Why you use the word "chips" for totally flat round SLICES of potato is a total fucking mystery to me. I don't know how your sculptors sculpt over there. And look at a computer chip one day. Is it a round slice? No it is a chunk like a british chip kind of shape.

so NOW whut?

Eh, I'll take American French-Fries over British chips anyday. I've had them many times, and no thanks, I'll live without them.

Most of them smell like nasty fish, from either being in the same grease as fish, or too close to it, or grease never being changed. Most chip-shops in the UK are worse than Burger King, so you can shove those up your Gary Glitter =]