Kenny Rogers would be proud.

Arnie looks to be evolving through the Bruce Jenner phase on the way to the Kenny Rogers phase.

Fixed. Thanks!

In reply to this comment by Boise_Lib:
*dead

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starting with the man in the mirror - I'm asking him to change his ways - and no message could have been any clearer - if You wanna make the world a better place, don't glorify a picked on kid who body slams another dweeby kid.

>> ^draak13:

Spoco et al keeps posting that this kind of situation shouldn't happen, that both sides are bad in this fight, and that we need to address the social and societal issues that lead to this event. However, that's where it stops; the social and societal issues are never addressed, but merely stated in paraphrase that, 'the social atmosphere is bad, shame on you for contributing to the problem.' I see no offering for a social or societal resolution that would prevent a situation like this.
If you think the solution to this problem is to have all of the onlookers come out and try to break things up, then why don't you go dress up in a scuba suit and call yourself kickass. I don't think the world works that way.
Really, I challenge and beg any poster for a solution that would actually work. If you're going to call shame on the people who have condoned the actions witnessed in this video, back up your claim to a better world by offering some preventative resolution, and then we'll actually have something to discuss.
>> ^dag:
Count me with Spoco et al on this one. It's natural for us to cheer for a Kenny Rogers Coward of the County type outcome - but really you don't want this situation to happen in the first place. You also need to think of what has led to this situation. Here's what I know for a fact:

Spoco et al keeps posting that this kind of situation shouldn't happen, that both sides are bad in this fight, and that we need to address the social and societal issues that lead to this event. However, that's where it stops; the social and societal issues are never addressed, but merely stated in paraphrase that, 'the social atmosphere is bad, shame on you for contributing to the problem.' I see no offering for a social or societal resolution that would prevent a situation like this.

If you think the solution to this problem is to have all of the onlookers come out and try to break things up, then why don't you go dress up in a scuba suit and call yourself kickass. I don't think the world works that way.

Really, I challenge and beg any poster for a solution that would actually work. If you're going to call shame on the people who have condoned the actions witnessed in this video, back up your claim to a better world by offering some preventative resolution, and then we'll actually have something to discuss.

>> ^dag:

Count me with Spoco et al on this one. It's natural for us to cheer for a Kenny Rogers Coward of the County type outcome - but really you don't want this situation to happen in the first place. You also need to think of what has led to this situation. Here's what I know for a fact:

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Count me with Spoco et al on this one. It's natural for us to cheer for a Kenny Rogers Coward of the County type outcome - but really you don't want this situation to happen in the first place. You also need to think of what has led to this situation. Here's what I know for a fact:

Cause nobody can do it like Mix Master Mike can,
Come on now
I've got the D double O, D double O style
Here we go again because it's been awhile
Do me a favor don't touch that dial
I rock from Manhattan to the Miracle Mile
My name's Mike D and I'm the ladies choice
I want to get next to you like Rose Royce
Y'all gather round to hear my golden voice
Cause when its time to rhyme you know I get noice
Cruising like a fan boat on the glade
He'll tweak ass your ass across the cross fade
So watch your back when he takes the stage
Or he'll send you off on a naked rampage

3 MC's and one DJ
We be getting down with no delay
Mix Master Mike what cha got to say

Sweet and sour like a tangerine
Fresh like a box of Krispy Kremes
Kenny Rogers' Gambler is my gambling theme
Mix Master Mike with the scratch routine
Always updated and in the know
You know we break it down going toe to toe
The bass is booming from down below
And Norton is chillin with Mario
Well my name is Adrock I'm a Scorpio
Don't ask me cause I just don't know
I'm known to mop I'm known to glow
But don't get mad cause I got to go

Three MC's and one DJ
We be getting down with no delay
Mix Master Mike what cha got to say

Mix Master cut faster

All top secret and classified
I grab a hold of a mic and let the words glide
It's all hypnotic and sanctified
I never wanna let a bad day slip by
We be getting stupid in your area
Causing all kinds of hysteria
My beats is sick like malaria
But don't worry I'll take care of ya
Me and Adam Adam and Mario C
When we're in the studio it's the place to be
To all beings everywhere be happy and free
With Mix Master Mike we're making history

Three MC's and one DJ
We be getting down with no delay
Mix Master Mike what you got to say

http://www.videosift.com/video/Kenny-Rogers-Hosts-Jackass and http://www.videosift.com/video/Kenny-Rodgers-hosts-Jackass-Again. I say dupe.

I'm not here to roast Obsidianfire...

I'm here to fuck Karkarlee.

I'm saying I'd really love to Zmx1ZmY= her cGlsbG93, even if it is illegal in 42 states.

I'm here to roast Obsidianfire, and not even mention his girlfriend at all, because that would be inappropriate and offensive, which is not the kind of humor we want here at the roast.

WARNING: The following message has not been approved by the FCC, Homeland Security, or President Cheney. Any and all remarks henceforth shall be referred to as "the jokes", and should not be construed as more than a feeble attempt by a bored Idahoan to garner laughter from his fellow computer-obsessed geeks, nerds and general cretins.

Commencing episode of "According to Jim" in 5...4...3...2...1

--
I'm kidding, of course. I know how OF gets when people mack on his chick, and if I wanted to be threatened by a bearded cave-dweller, I'd draw a cartoon about Muhammad for a Danish newspaper.

But seriously, how funny was that episode with moodonia? Only in the Internet age can a guy in America threaten a guy in Ireland about a girl in Finland...or wherever the hell [redacted] is?

And besides, how is OF going to hurt moodonia? Is he going to buy a ticket to Ireland? With his "money" that he gets from his "job?"

But anyway...

...

Jesus Christ, this roast is lame! I've had more laughs watching Schindler's List.

I've seen better roasters at a Kenny Rogers restaurant.

This is about as exciting as the George Carlin 2009 World Tour...and just as lively.

...

I see blankfist is here...from the trail of a$$ grav33 leading from the mens' bathroom to KP's mouth. I never thought I'd see the day when someone received herpes on the internet.

Choggie wanted to be here, but he's using his VS sabbatical to teach English to Thai schoolchildren. Or as KP calls it, "fishing."

Alright, enough about the losers here...Good night!

Just kidding. Really, you guys are all so great. Your comedy is like AIDS in Africa. Everybody hates it, but nobody does anything constructive to change it.

--

Alright, time to roast the Negro flamer. If OF can please leave his high-paying job for the night and let his wonderfully-supportive friends drive his Ferrari to his mansion, we'll begin.

Shit, what to say about a nobody like Obsidianfire?

First of all, I think we should discuss banning him for his self-posting of this video. Who knew El Flamer Negro was a homeless black guy with schizophrenia, who thinks he has a [redacted] who loves him? BANNED.

Secondly, I think OF is actually Paul Reubens, aka "Pee Wee Herman." How do I know this? Well, OF states that his favorite show was Pee-Wee's Playhouse. OF is from Clearwater, Florida, and Pee Wee was arrested in Sarasota, Florida for jerking off in an adult theatre. The two cities are very close to each other. Either he's actually Paul Reubens, or he was raped by Pee-Wee Herman. This could also explain why he defends his "[redacted]" so strongly. Keep up those appearances, right Pee-Wee? I mean, OF?

Obsidianfire thinks he's hot shit because he makes his avatars with Photoshop. Oh yeah, OF, it's really tough to copy a design from the internet, then crop it into a 100KB avatar. Look at me, I'm a "graphic designer!" I have a "[redacted]!" ...let me tell you something, OF. MS paint, a bottle of lube, a box of Kleenex and a tiny flaccid penis would make me just like you.

But to be nice, I must admit that you're a really good guy, OF. I mean, some people here are mocking you for being an old-school sifter, yet only having a few videos up. But they don't understand how hard it is to find an internet connection in a crack house while trying to give your landlord a reach around.

And besides, it's not about quantity, it's about quality. And I'm sure when you finally meet [redacted] in person, [redacted] will repeat that to you...in bed...before [redacted] dumps you for some Finnish soap opera star.

*takes a bow*

Some of my parents records that I liked:

-Herb Alpert - Whipped Cream (I can't tell you how many hours I stared at that album cover)
-Nat King Cole
-John Denver
-Kenny Rogers
-Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water - I practically memorized every word to every song on that album, because it had the lyrics on the back
-LOTS of traditional Irish music records. My dad's parents were both from Ireland. The Irish Rovers were one of his favorites.
-Dean Martin

In reply to this comment by schmawy:
Ditto! Just replace Styx with Jethro Tull and Kansas with Motorhead, Maiden, and Priest. Prior to that it was my parent's records, Fats Domino, Beachboys, and Johnny Cash.

In reply to this comment by kronosposeidon:
Did you ever have an extension cord for those big puffy cans? I had a 25-foot extension cord for my phones, so that I could wander all over my bedroom while I rocked out on "Glass Houses", my very first vinyl record. Followed by:

2. Styx - Paradise Theatre
3. AC/DC - Back In Black
4. Styx - Grand Illusion
5. Rush - Moving Pictures
6. Pink Floyd - The Wall
7. Van Halen - I
8. Pink Floyd - Dark Side Of The Moon
9. Pink Floyd - Meddle
10. Kansas - Leftoverture
11. Pink Floyd -Wish You Were Here
12. Rush - Permanent Waves

And the rest are kind of blur after that, but those were my first 12 disciples. I'll always remember.

You may be right, I may be crazy.

In reply to this comment by schmawy:
Nor did I fall asleep every night wearing big puffy headphones with the curly cord listening to an 8-track copy of Songs From the Attic that I bought at Bradlees with my lawn-mowing money. If you ever hear this rumor it is a complete fabrication.

*promote

it's only 9mins, thus not long.

also, do recognize Dr. Jeff Wigand of "The Insider" fame. i gotta say, he looks a lot more like kenny rogers than russell crowe, though i see the wisdom in choosing the latter

i've always wanted to cover the Kenny Rogers version somehow.

it's just not the same without kenny rogers, bowling shoes and saddam hussein...still awesome though

Tags for this video have been changed from 'will, sasso, madtv, steveo' to 'will sasso, madtv, steveo, kenny rogers, jackass, funny' - edited by lucky760

See part 1 here