Global Warming? Coulda fooled me.

(For the love of all that is holy, this is satire.)
There was a discussion about global warming recently so I thought I'd bing this up. I took this photo in April when I was visiting home. You know that month, right? The one where all the snow has given way to lush green grass and blooming flowers? If the Earth is getting so hot, why is all that snow on my car in April? Oh yeah, and this is after I shoveled the driveway. (Snowblower's engine had seized after 20 years of faithful service, and it being April, there had been no foreseeable need to get another just yet)



joedirt says...

Are you serious?! Hello? You're a smart guy. Look at it this way, on average across a whole year, there is an average temperature. It doesn't vary by much and even in global warming scenarios, it is a few degrees.

So, even not talking about actual year-year warming. Let's assume the average global yearly temp is constant.

So, on average when you start having hotter and hotter weather (from sun output or CO2 etc) guess what? It means even colder extremes as well. Once you start pulling one part of the system to extremes, the whole thing becomes more extreme. More wind, more hurricanes, more rain, longer periods of no rain. The hotter the summers are average across summer months means you have to make up for that in the winter. (On average).

It's like playing slot machines over a very long time. Hot streaks on average will lead to long cold streaks. (Of course in this example slot machines are not truely random, but rather have a preset payout scale and actually manipulate winning percentages to come out with average payouts of 95% or whatever.

MarineGunrock says...

It was more of a joke than anything, joe, but let me ask you this:
Wouldn't colder winters (as a result of a warmer planet, like you said) cancel out the global warming thing? The last time that I checked global warming meant that the average temperature of the planet keeps rising. How can that be possible if we keep having more "extreme cold" as you say? Either I totally misunderstood what you said, or it was completely inane and made zero sense.

Thylan says...

Climate destabilization is possibly more descriptive and more scary too (and destabilize from our very short term recent human experience to which we are suited, not from geological trends)

Farhad2000 says...

This is why the name global warming is so inaccurate, and climate change has started to be used.

But Joe is right, the increase of temperatures destabilizes the climate, but on average temperatures will rise. You might get snow in your area but there could be a short winter in another, one has to look at the global climate environment rather then the local one.

Look at the melting ice caps for example.

MINK says...

marine, lol "global warming and snow wtf!"

do you apply the same level of logical analysis to iraq as you do to the climate? coz i might have to start respecting what you say a bit less after this...

Arsenault185 says...

I kind of fail to see how golbal warming makes for colder temperatures. Lemme do some math real quick with some made up statistics (for the purpose of having numbers to work with.)If the following were true, the Global warming exists.

Ok. average temp in State A during July, 1970: 85F
Average temp in State A during July, 2007: 90F

Average temp in state A during January 1970: 15F
Average temp in state A during January 2007: 20F

global warming theoretically rises the earths temperature. i don't see how it can make it colder. so to say that rising the temperature during one season of the year makes the other season colder, is just asinine. if the temperature were a rope hanging, and you pulled up on it, the "colder" (or lower end) would come with it, would it not?

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