That shim is just a metaphor for secretary.

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.

I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
If I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be named kese?

Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose;

We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!

So our English, I think, you all will agree,
Is the craziest language you ever did see.

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?

Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat;
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,
Or dear and fear for bear and pear.

And then there's dose and rose and lose,
Just look them up, and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.

A dreadful language? Why, man alive,
I'd learned to talk it when I was five,
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five!

You can also use a shim to release the catch on the ties, or if you have replaced your shoelaces with paracord you can use them as a friction saw by bicycling your legs.

Both of these methods are easier if you have a little slack to play with, so don't tighten your own restraints unless you are certain the zip ties are thin enough for you to break successfully, or you don't have anything available to use as a shim or saw.

Edit: To clarify, I don't mean to suggest shimming or sawing are easier than snapping (Though with very thick ties it can be). I mean it is easier to shim or saw with a little slack, than to shim or saw without slack.

You do realize that you don't need to give them your return address right?

Besides, they get rigid envelopes all the time - the post office is set up for it - sending a rigid piece of mail isn't a crime.

>> ^Boise_Lib:

Beautiful idea, thanks Trancecoach.
But, putting asphalt roofing shingles in would be a bad idea. It's possible--and since big business owns judges, probable--that someone could get charged with a felony. Something along the lines of using the federal mail to sabotage the mail sorting machines that are used on all of those return envelopes (they may even use this tactic against wood shims). Tampering with the USPS mail is a serious crime.
Now some brave soul may be okay with Civil Disobedience that might have such consequences--but they should be aware of the potential consequences first.

You're partly right, those letters will never get to a bank employee, but as an employee of one of those companies that opens the letters for several banks, I can tell you that at least with us, we're obligated to capture any and all correspondence customers send in to us and provide it to the banks with the rest of the data. So the wood shims and roofing tiles will just piss off the wrong people, but any actual message you put in there will get to the bank, and a sudden spike in correspondence volume will get noticed.

I also disagree about raising bank costs being fruitless. If banks start charging people a monthly fee while paying 0% interest, most people will just pull their money out and bank somewhere else. Hopefully they'll go to a local bank or credit union instead, but they could always just store piles of cash in a safe at home. No business can insulate itself from increases in input costs by simply raising the price they ask customers to pay -- doing that loses you sales, and winds up costing you money.

>> ^L0cky:

Warning, party pooping.
The mail will never reach any employee of a bank, let alone a banker. It goes to a data collection warehouse.
People with already crappy jobs working for a sub contractor who do nothing but open envelopes all day and sort their contents will be the ones who will have to bin all your wooden shivs and messages.
On top of that, your local (probably unionised) mailman will have to lug around this extra mail on his/her collection round.
Nice sentiment, but poor in execution
Also, right now I don't see an effective end goal in trying to increase the banks' costs. We pay all their costs anyway, through charges or bailouts.

Beautiful idea, thanks Trancecoach.

But, putting asphalt roofing shingles in would be a bad idea. It's possible--and since big business owns judges, probable--that someone could get charged with a felony. Something along the lines of using the federal mail to sabotage the mail sorting machines that are used on all of those return envelopes (they may even use this tactic against wood shims). Tampering with the USPS mail is a serious crime.

Now some brave soul may be okay with Civil Disobedience that might have such consequences--but they should be aware of the potential consequences first.

Shimming a lock is somthing you can do with almost any simple retaining lock. I've been able to pick my own bike lock with a hollow pen.

Most of these old Masterlocks can be opened in seconds (without damaging the lock) using an easy-to-manufacture shim. No math required.