No problem. I've got a few jokes for you straight off the bat - what's brown and sticky? A stick. What's ET short for? He's only got little legs. Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. Doctor doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together! What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

Hell, Tim Vine does hundreds of one liners in half an hour and the majority of them are not at anyone's expense.

I think you've confused what you find funny with the term "humour" as it were. You may only find shadenfreude funny, and so you think all humour is shadenfreude, but it is patently obvious that things can be humourous without being at someone's expense and i find it almost petulant to be asked to prove it when it is so obvious. You almost certainly know loads of jokes like that. How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Wi' jam-in. I stood there, wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger..... and then it hit me. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam.

From what i remember of Lenny Henry's standup (like him or not) in the old days, he didn't often tell a joke at someone's expense. Tommy Cooper used to make people laugh by doing bad magic tricks. Les Dawson used to make people laugh by playing the piano badly as only a good pianist can. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh by conjuring up funny situations in a fictional world. I laughed at the Big Lebowski when he shaded the pad of paper to see what secret notes Jackie Treehorn was making and it turned out to be a doodle of a man holding his own cock. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. I bought some new viagra eye drops, cos they make me look hard. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug.

I could go on and on and on, but i don't get paid for this and i have other stuff to do, but i hope i've opened your eyes to whole new realms of comedy where people don't get hit in the face with stuff. Where are the Andes? At the end of your wristies. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

I'm so confused by your request for proof that i feel like someone's asked me "Air? What air? There's no air, i can't see any!"

I'm utterly dreading to read your reply if it says anything along the lines of "That ET joke is offensive to short people! That skeleton joke is offensive to people with eating disorders! The penguin joke is offensive to the penguin you pushed down the hill!" Please don't embarrass us both by doing that, we both know those jokes aren't offensive. (Or very funny, to be honest.)

Tags for this video have been changed from 'donut, hair flip, color bars' to 'donut, hair flip, color bars, thats good, devo' - edited by Grimm

TRANSLATION:
Say what you will about Obama, I have no idea who and what he is or represents and I'd vote for him just for a chance to ride his cock. I love how he's a better actor than he is any sort of leader, just follow his lead and the world will ooze jelly donuts-filling and Pop Tart pastries in your favorite flavor will fall right off the trees and into your toaster!

So let's keep the spirit of complete douch-nozzle, spit-popping cuntitude going shall we?? (all five of my buddy-crew here who can do nothing else including think, without being told how and what to think about) y'all chime-in.

Which sift asshole piece of shit will be the first to think for themselves without having the television dictate how much of a complete cunt to be, and try to squash and render this asshole's newsspeak into the fertilizer it was meant to be, exposing for what it truly is, pusillanimous, robotic-script drivel, who can pssibly and effectively change the subject?

Lantern? Bobknight? Surely QM has something to say that I can call him out simply to shit upon him? ME, ME, ME, motherfuckers, nothing else matters but FUCKING ME!

Or will one of the few people who knows me better than I know myself, dismiss it reiterating how the parties are all the same in it's usual style of calling shit for what it is, identifying correctly, the crux of the biscuit???

(In case you haven't heard voodoovovovoovo, choggie ain't around here anymore. He was fired.)

*edit: OOPS! Forgot to hit the sar-chasm button. <(lying)

bag o donuts

I was eating a chocolate donut! Very soft and delicious.

On the lighter side of things, when she spread that brain open I got really horny.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'big think, kevin, mitnick, troll, fbi, search warrant, donuts' to 'big think, kevin mitnick, troll, fbi, search warrant, donuts' - edited by xxovercastxx

I biked my 2 daughters to school every single day. I also picked them up the same exact way. It was .7 miles away. The parents next to me would drive their kids. We left 10 minutes after them and always made it there before them.

I think this simple math is too complicated for those running the school in this video. Which also means they shouldn't be teaching anything to anyone. When it comes to "if you don't like my rules, I'll arrest you" it's time to fight back.

That officer is lucky that the man in this video chose to fight back intellectually, because it's pretty obvious donut man would have lost.

time to make the donuts...

This video has been seconded as a duplicate; transferring votes to the original video and killing this dupe - dupeof seconded with isdupe by eric3579.

*dupeof=http://videosift.com/video/Awesome-Double-Donuts-Guy-Drifts-Two-BMWs-Simutaneously

This video has been nominated as a duplicate of this video by kulpims. If this nomination is seconded with *isdupe, the video will be killed and its votes transferred to the original.

http://videosift.com/video/Awesome-Double-Donuts-Guy-Drifts-Two-BMWs-Simutaneously

*Dupeof

I brought donuts once.

A title like, "Dunkin' Donuts Employee Throws Hot Coffee On Robber" would both get more hits and be more informative.