Satan is not a horned beast with a pitchfork, he is a fallen angel. The scripture tells us that he appears as an angel of light, and his ministers, ministers of righteousness.

Satan means enemy, and he is the enemy of both God and man. He has many names: the devil, red dragon, beelzebub, father of lies, prince of the power of the air, the god of this world, the accuser, the adversary, the tempter, the serpent, belial

In Heaven, he was called the "annointed Cherub who covers", as in the Cherubs that covered the mercy seat on the Ark of the Covenant. He was perfect in all of his ways until iniquity was found in him, and he was cast out. He was lifted up because of his own beauty and desired to replace God and be worshiped. Jesus said that He saw Satan fall from Heaven like lightning.

He deceived 1/3 of the angelic host to follow him into perdition. With them he wars against God and man, and has deceived the whole world. The scripture tells us that the whole world lies in the lap of the wicked one.

Jesus Christ defeated Him on the cross, 2000 years ago. He took from Satan the keys of death and hell. The demons believe in Him, and tremble.

Every person who comes to faith in Jesus Christ, as having died on the cross for their sins and being resurrected on the third day, will be forgiven for their sins and receive eternal life. The devil will lose his power over them and they will be set free.

>> ^gorillaman:
Rupert Murdoch's the most powerful fascist on earth. He's been the de facto ruler of a number of countries, he's resposible for the deaths of thousands and the oppression of millions more, how is this the worst he gets? So tired of amateurs spoiling opportunities like this and making it more difficult for serious people to get the job done.

This isn't a victory for the good guys, it's a joke.


From the assailant, Jonnie Marbles' statement:
via: http://videosift.com/video/Rupert-Murdoch-media-mogul-hit-in-face-with-foam-pie

Believe it or not, I even worried about Rupert Murdoch's feelings. You see, I really don't hate 80-year-olds and, at the end of the day, Rupert Murdoch is just an old man. Maybe what I was trying to do was remind everyone of that – that he is not all powerful, he's not Sauron or Beelzebub, just a human being, like the rest of us, but one who has got far too big for his boots.

That's what they said about Jesus too..He said:

But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, "It is only by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons."

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.

If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand?

And if I drive out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your people drive them out? So then, they will be your judges.

But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.



>> ^KnivesOut:
Hmm, maybe you're the demon!>> ^shinyblurry:
It's hard to say..they may or may not be saved. I believe the spirit of God dwells in all Christians but Catholics do a lot of things antithetical to the bible. Anyone calling upon the name of God has a good chance against a demon, but it could just be a denomic deception as well..making it seem like they have power over Satan when they are in fact impotent.

Nope still dont believe it Obama I know you were really born in Djiboiti to a goat impregnated by Beelzebub

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy (Poor boy)
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

[Guitar Solo]

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let me go (Will not let you go)
Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)
Let me go, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

[Guitar Solo]
(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows...

What is really interesting about this, the thing that really bugs me, the question that will haunt my dreams tonight, is: why in the name of Beelzebubs swollen arse did they need to put tissues up thier left nostrils before receiving this information?!?

THE TISSUES; THEY DO NOTHING!

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Do you know who else made good speeches? Beelzebub the demon.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'The Adventures of Mark Twain, Will Vinton, claymation, planet beelzebub' to 'The Adventures of Mark Twain, Will Vinton, claymation, planet beelzebub, nihilism' - edited by burdturgler

To theorize a bit, I would say that her father was probably Daniel, the 13th model, and Starbuck is the first hybrid. Or it could end religiously, where she's like jesus and saves us all and yadda yadda. Dear sweet beelzebub, I hope not.

I've told the devil to stop washing my brain a million times now and he just don't listen! I guess I'm just destined to burn in hell for all eternity. Damn rock and roll music!


>> ^thinker247:
Huey Lewis is Satan?


Sure! Don't you remember the infamous songs:

The Heart of Lucifer (Is Still Beatin')
Do You Believe in Satan?
(I'll Eat Your) Heart and Soul
Sinin' For A Livin'
Doing It All For My Beelzebub

I know, it may make no sense. That is because I am not a true religious values voter. Thus, I have absolutely no morality and I am ultimately destined for Hell(tm). At this juncture it is pointless for me to refrain from making fun of religion. If I stop now, I am still going to Hell(tm)

If I am to suffer an eternity being tortured by the big cloven hoofed red-guy(tm) with horns and a pitch fork, I might as well go out in an intense blaze fueled by fiery brimstone, dragged tooth an nail by Beelzebub and his Quasit army into the depths of the nine hells. I suspect the Leprechauns living in the upper levels of the underworld just below my tulip patch will laugh... teary eyed... at me, as I swoop past them when the Earth opens to claim it's luscious, juicy prize.

After the first decade, both the tortured soul and the demons must become rather bored. Rather repetitive it must be to torture the same person over and over and over again. After a while it just becomes monotonous and not unlike working for the Department of Public Works. Nowhere as exciting as teaching 'Exorcism 101' at the Vatican, or 'How To Maintain 21 Virgins And Have Sex With Them Too' as taught at so many Madrassa around the Middle East.

I suspect Hell must be quite a heavily populated place. Especially with the Earth's population increasing to FAR beyond what it was 6000 years ago. A full 6.6 billion strong! Though as the entire universe is only 6000 years old, they most certainly must have planned ahead to reserve plenty of real estate. They will be fine I am certain. Considering the Earth's diameter is quite a large 12,756.1 km. As a result, we can further calculate the Earth's Volume, which is 1,097,509,500,000,000,000,000 cubic meters. Taking that into account we have PLENTY of fire and brimstone for ALL! Plenty of room in Hell(tm) I say! At least I won't be in cramped quarters. Plenty of room for a few US military bases, and a Pentecostal Church. Demons just LOVE speaking in tongues. Being forked and all, they are quite adept at the language.

Peace.


>> ^MarineGunrock:
No, I say it because just about every one of your comments has something to do with insulting Christians - even on videos that have nothing to do with religion.
In reply to this comment by honkeytonk73:
>> ^MarineGunrock:
You really are a hateful sumbitch.
In reply to this comment by honkeytonk73:
Voter disenfranchising in the name of JEEEESUS. All for the sake of maintaining 'values voter' superiority. Christian morality at it's finest I say.


I probably should not have singled out values voters as being solely Christian. I apologize as that is wholly not fair in the least. Though those not able to speak to invisible magical friends simply have no values, so apparently they cannot be taken into consideration.
I wouldn't call myself hateful (others may and have the right to do so). Rather, I consider myself to be equally unbound by any form of deistic superstition among the hundreds which currently exist and the greater number which has existed in the past.
To elaborate, for those who have interest:
Each superstition in their own right is -entirely- correct in that they are the 'one' true faith. Everyone is correct, as it makes perfect sense. It is also politically correct to roll over and agree that everyone is equally deluded. Life is simpler that way is it not?
So now... I will now go bathe in the Lake of Fire(tm) for my sins, wherever that may be. I'll be sure to let everyone know if fire can exist in a liquid form... though I highly suspect it will be a lake of superheated plasma, rather than fire. In that case, I suspect the environment in hell is of quite high pressure.
The typical maximum pressure at which the human body can maintain life is measurable scientifically. On the other hand.. the non-corporeal 'spirit' with zero nerve endings, could potentially withstand infinite pressure. But then what would be the point? With no nerves, can one have pain? So what is the purpose of torture then? Maybe the big red horned guys just insult the damned denizens over and over again... and that is how they torture.
These are such insults I suspect I will endure in the various supposed afterlives:
"No your mother is NOT Aphrodite, I said a HERMAPHRODITE you nincompoop!"
"Your hair is as big as Tammy Fae Bakker and your eyelashes help you fly!"
"You smell like an all too lonely Arabian goat herder!"
"Your mother was a priestess of Lesbos!"
"Your real father was Pan, your momma got rammed darn good eh Mr coven hooves?"
I shall update everyone from Hell(tm) when I arrive. I hope they have broadband. Watch, one torture is to only provide a 300 baud inernet connection. Upper case text only. TRS-80 COCO!!

Tags for this video have been changed from 'british, rabbit, idol, jewel, jam' to 'idol, jewel, jam, Run Wrake, Enid Blyton, kids, countryside, hunt, beelzebub' - edited by Eklek

Tags for this video have been changed from 'mark, twain, claymation, planet beelzebub' to 'The Adventures of Mark Twain, Will Vinton, claymation, planet beelzebub' - edited by fissionchips

Inspired post.
Crackpot ideas come from many a bottle. Take Gurdjieff's thick-ass tome, "Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson" The prologue describes the setting in which he penned this epic-he had a nice little spot in the corner of a wine cellar. His bev of choice was Armagnac,(brandy) a French region and the oldest to distill-some cardinal back in the 12th century, had this extolation about this spirit's, many virtues...
"It makes disappear redness and burning of the eyes, and stops them from tearing; it cures hepatitis, sober consumption adhering. It cures gout, cankers and fistula by ingestion, restores the paralysed member by massage and heals wounds of the skin by application. It enlivens the spirit, partaken in moderation, recalls the past to memory, renders men joyous, preserves youth and retards senility. And when retained in the mouth, it loosens the tongue and emboldens the wit, if someone timid from time to time himself permits."-(wiki)

I like this new wino dag. Now yer an Okie, will wonders never cease?
-Brian d'Houston

You have China to thank for those cheap-ass slippery shoelaces, and everyone knows dinosaurs were hollow.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'mark, twain, claymation, planet belzebub' to 'mark, twain, claymation, planet beelzebub' - edited by choggie