Pasted below are Roman's responses to our Roast Quiz. The RoastMASTER's commentary appears in parentheses.

My real name is Roman Novak. I'm from Europe, Slovenia (we don't know what cheetos are), but I'll try to answer your stupid questions as best as I can.

1.What do you, do most of the day when you are not lounging, but not on the computer?
Roman: Mostly I do nothing or as little as possible. I watch tv shows, movies, read books and smoke weed. When I become bored of that I go outside and get drunk at a pub. In the summertime I ride mountain bikes. I don't like winter or winter sports much

2.Who are you more fond of?
A..Mother
B.McDonalds
C.Beer
D.Technical Assistance
E. Dairy Products
F.All of the above
G.None (kill them all)
Roman: Kill'em all, leave the beer.

3. How many pairs of shoes as opposed to matching undergarments.... boxers or briefs
Roman: weird question. (editor: no shit, what were you thinking Choggie?) I'd say 1 shoe for 10 underpants. there

4.mac or pc?
Roman: pc. or at least hackintosh

5. Who’s your guru?
Roman: I don't have guru's, but there are a few people I love and would buy beer for them. mostly writers I like, movie directors, scientists and people who make me laugh.

6.Bush or No Bush?
Roman: I don't care

7.sprinkles, gravy, or cherry on top?
Roman: gravy ( Ass gravy, of course)

8.tits, ass, or legs.
Roman: face first, gotta be cute. tits are not a priority, but a fine ass is a must. also, i hate fankles

9.supine or prostrate?
Roman: i sleep on my back if that's what u mean (It’s not, but whatever. You have to cut the guy a little slack for his ESL handicap)

10. cat, dog or other
Roman: dog, i guess. not really a pet person

11. Car, bike, public transit, walking or motorcycle?
Roman: bike first, then car (I don't own one for past 3-4 years now)

12.time, newsweek or USNews and World Report?
Roman: i get my news from Stephen Colbert (like every good Videosifter)

13.beer preference?
Roman: Laško (slovenian), Heineken

14.Religion: Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, Atheist,Agnostic,Jedi?
Roman: no religion (Again, like everybody here at Videosift)

15.Ever arrested?
Roman: not actually arrested, I was charged a couple of times, most were drug related, couple of fights, and theft once - which I was innocent of and proved it in court, too. (I guess the definition of “arrested” is different in Slovenia than in North America)

16.cheetos: crunchy or puffs?
Roman: crunchy

17.dog or cat person?
Roman: look at 10 (holy double post, batman!)

18.bangs, balding or rug?
Roman: bangs

19.five most cherished possessions
Roman: possesions ... my bike, i guess. my computer. I'm not really attached to material things (+ I don't have many so it's kinda meaningless question for me) and mementos don't do much for me either. every few years I throw ever4ything away and start over

20.clean shaven, beard, goatee or moustache
Roman: beard (it only tickles for a little while)

21. Desert Island albums?
Roman: hard to decide. something jazzy, definetly (sic)

22. Pro gay marriage, or agin?
Roman: do whatever the fuck you want, is my motto. just don't piss on other people

23. Communicable diseases... be honest
Roman: never ever. besides, I hardly have sex any more except with myself (no wonder he fits in so well here, plus he gives amazing backrubs)

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>> ^Drax:
Put them together and you have Spork.
shrug


LOL indeed it would be a spork!

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