OR another installment of: Glenn Beck is poisoning my family.


Two years ago one of my sisters won her 20 year battle with addictions. It was really exciting.

Then she turned on the news for the first time ever. It was Fox News.

Now, she's spent 2 years absorbing everything that is said on fox news. Her entire world perspective is based on the last 2 years. And it's based on fox's interpretation of it.

The mixture has become almost worse than the cocktail of drugs and booze and anguish in her system.

She is unable to carry on a conversation that isn't about something Glenn Beck told her. She's completely convinced that Obama is hitler, even though she has very little idea what that means because she spent her life in a self absorbed drug stooper.

She is completely terrified and also completely convinced that Glenn Beck is in fact our savior. Our shining light in this darkness, and we have to follow him out of this tunnel of shit or face certain death. If you say the tiniest thing to contradict her, she'll stand up scream at you in only the way a tweeker can. It's a futile battle.

Last week, my mom showed up at my house and had my step-dad take my kids out to eat. She sat me down to have a "talk". Apparently, Courtney has been paying a lot of attention to my facebook page. And has related what she's found out about me to our mother. My mom took it all very seriously. She's very concerned about my soul. She confronted me about being a "terrorist sympathizer", "dating a nazi", all my friends having lost their minds, and how we all "worship the devil." WTF? I realized in this bizzarro-world conversation we had, that all the meanings of all the words have been changed. I remember when I was 18, everyone was well aware that I was "liberal". It just meant that I was young and naive and my heart was bleeding and my solutions to stop the bleeding were just silly and idealistic and harmless. Now that word means that I am a nazi and support al qaeda and wish to see the death of america and everyone in it. And my liberal deviance has corrupted my ability to take care of my kids. Being "liberal" makes me such a wickedly horrible mother that I would date an actual nazi and expose him to my kids. WTF??

Now, I can chock my sisters conclusions up to "she's fucking crazy and insanely ignorant, that poor poor baby" and move on with life.

But my mother... WTF????

My mother is a sharp, intelligent, classy, professional lady. She will proudly keep your balls in her purse and use them as her own. She is a female executive. She has a master's degree and is considered an expert in her field. She is flown all over the country -weekly- to inspect and consult on repairing failing hospitals. She's not an ignorant backwoods yokel. WTF????

So my point is, they've changed all the words and used them against us. I was trying to have this conversation with my extremely intelligent mother, and we were not speaking the same language. Any points I made were viewed through lens of "she listens to NPR and is therefore an enemy of the state". WTF????? I was trying to make the point that something or other she believed in was a proven lie, and googled it for her. She told me that google was a left-wing conspiracy. HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT IS THAT??? Just tell the people who are listening to your bullshit information, that the one place everyone can go to fact check you is a liberal conspiracy and that's why all hits say that what you said was less than true. You're not lying, it's a mass conspiracy. WOW!!!!

I sort of hate it when people use the word "orwellian". They sound like the assholes who use the word "kafkaesque". But holy shit, this bizzaro news cycle we're living in is just fucking orwellian. There is no other way to describe it.

I realize my family is more fucked up than most, but ...Has anyone else's family lost their minds in this brainwashing, propaganda, fuck cycle???? Has anyone else had crazy encounters with teabaggers? Did you feel like you were having the world's most sinister and bizarre semantics argument?