Why do girls have Valentine's day and guys have nothing? We get flowers and the shit girls would want but nothing is in it for us. I don't know about the rest of the world, but here in the U.S., we created a holiday called "Steak and Nobber day" as a rebuttal of sorts. On March 14th, every year we have a day devoted to men and their needs. No cards, no candy, no jewelery, no shitty poetry, no moonlit walks on the beach, no flowers, no calling anybody to wish them a happy anything (aside from the high-five of a male passerby). The only thing involved in this holiday is a nice juicy steak, cooked to the man's preference, followed by a nice, sloppy blowjob by the man's significant other. Nothing special...just steak, blowjob...done.

It's enough to keep a guy appeased, but not too much to ask of the "blower". So come on ladies (in both senses of the phrase) get down and get busy, after all, if it wasn't for us, who would keep your frigid feet warm at night?